The Relationship Coach Show Erich Viedge

OK full disclosure. There is no such thing as sex addiction. Of course, people can have a problematic relationship with sex. We could call that sexual compulsivity. That's what this episode is about. 
Viv Burke is at http://PartnershipMatters.net
I reference MartyKlein.com
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When she was 15, she told her school counsellor that she wanted to be a sex and relationship coach. But that wasn't a thing back in the early 2000s.
But when The Lady Ness, as she calls herself, sets her mind to something, she gets it done.
So now the Lady Ness is indeed a sex and relationship coach with a perspective that comes from years of personal lived experience.
She's also a researcher into sex and disability, a pro-domme and a very accomplished social media expert. Naturally, she specialises in blogging and social media in the adult industry.
You can find Lady Ness but at
https://allmylinks.com/theladyness
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Let's make this a song by Balkan Jingles is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Lucky in the Supermarket (ID 1323) by Lobo Loco is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

Do you choose your kinks? Or do your kinks choose you?
That's not the question I thought I was asking when I spoke to Dr Graham Stevenson for this week's episode. But that's one of the answers I got!
When I started this podcast I made a list of relationship dynamics things I'd like to know more about.
One of those was what they call DD/lg -- Daddy Dom, Little Girl.
So I put out a call and Dr Graham Stevenson answered it. 
He has had personal experience in a relationship with this dynamic, and he graciously unpacked what that was like for him.
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Find Dr Graham Stevenson at http://DoctorGraham.co.uk

 I work with men, um, mostly kind of 50, 60 seventies, that kind of thing. Sometimes younger, sometimes older, but usually around that age.And they come to me with variety of different issues.
Sometimes it's something that's more physical, that's not working for them in the way they would like sometimes it's more mental or emotional, spiritual.
My main clientele are those who have little to no experience or no recent experience with sexuality, intimacy, pleasure, that sort of thing. Or guys who have experience, but kind of have this, you know, the kind of suspect there's more to it than they've been experiencing. And then I see guys, you know, that want to get maintained better directions last longer in bed, build confidence, you know, that kind of stuff.
My  basic program has four in-person sessions with me and for zoom calls with me in between the sessions, I do offer longer programs, but not until I've worked with someone a while, and I know that it's appropriate for them. .

Claire Louise Travers is a humanitarian by profession. She's implemented humanitarian response initiatives in over 20 countries. She's also polyamorous, which means she is comfortable having concurrent romantic and sexual relationships.
When the 20th anniversary of Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's book The Ethical Slut came out, she and one of her partners thought it would be a fun idea to read it together and discuss it on a podcast.
They called it Poly Pages. And because she's an academic at heart they decided to produce bonus episodes to talk to academics about research in polyamory.
Then she and her partner broke up, which put an end to the Ethical Slut Reading Group the two of them had started. In fact, that year, all her relationship ended.
But in true Claire fashion, she decided to do something useful with the podcast. Under the auspices of Poly Pages, she ran an event about decoupling in polyamorous relationships, and the webinar is available for purchase at polypages.org. I'll put a link in the show notes. And she's been running events for the polyamorous community ever since.
Look out for the White Supremacy in Polyamory On 19th June 2021, which is also available for purchase.
Breakups are a part of relationships, but I'm guessing most relationship coaches don't have a lot of experience with breakups when the people are polyamorous. How can we support the process best?
You can find the webinar on decoupling in polyamorous relationships for ten pounds or about $15 polypages.org.
Find @polypages on TikTok (her TikToks are hilarous and informative) and Instagram @polypages.
Find Claire at ClaireLouiseTravers.co.uk.
The takeaways for me were.
* Don't call it ethical non-monogamy because that implies that all non-monogamy is unethical unless stated otherwise. We don't say "ethical monogamy" do we? She wrote an article about this on medium which you can find at clairelouisetravers.medium.com
* If a person is going through a breakup, it hurts. Treat that breakup as its own thing.
* It's not really fair to ask other partners to support you through a breakup. You can lean on them a bit, but make sure you have other forms of support
* It's useful to have non-monogamous friends who understand your relationship structure and can be there for you.
* It can happen in polyamory that when one relationship ends, others can sometimes end as well. That hardly seems fair, does it
* In polyamory, there's this idea that relationships don't always have to end just because you've decoupled. Sometimes they transition into a different shape. In monogamy, almost all decouplings are abrupt breaks. But in polyamory, relationships stop being sexual or romantic, but they can transition into friendship, or co-working or another form of relating. (They're still break-ups, don't get me wrong).
Then some tips to be less sad after a breakup;
* Watch a scary movie. It's hard to be scared and sad at the same time
* Dance or move your body to work some of the feelings out.
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Savannah Hauk is this week's guest. She's an Author, TEDx Speaker and cross-dressing activist. She talks about what relationship coaches need to know to support guys who cross-dress.
The Fox and Phoenix podcast is here: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/the-fox-and-the-phoenix/id1523172222
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