97 episodes
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery Allen Berger & Thom Rutledge
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- Health & Fitness
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4.7 • 31 Ratings
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Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand." Wilson suggested that if we could identify and continually surrender these unrealistic and unrecognizable demands, that we may then be able to accomplish what he imagined to be recovery's next frontier - something he called emotional sobriety.
Flash forward 70 years, and join psychotherapists and best-selling authors Thom Rutledge and Dr. Allen Berger, who have taken up the mantle of exploring Bill Wilson's new frontier. Welcome to Emotional Sobriety.
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The Decision Maker
Locating our authentic self in the midst of our warring inner committee and standing our ground - not against others but for ourselves - is at the crux of emotional sobriety.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
For our ongoing video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g
Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519
We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments. -
Emotional Sobriety, Stewardship & Service (Part Two)
A we engage with the recovery impetus to be of service to others, In addition to the reward there may also an activation of guilt and other issues tied to our early experiences with our family of origin. Allen shines a light on the importance of integrating taking care of ourselves with taking care of others. These drives are inextricable from each other, and push us towards greater emotional sobriety.
Read Joe’s new blog post Servitude & Stewardship: Emotional Sobriety and the Twelve Traditions:
https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/blog/blog/7165598/servitude-stewardship-emotional-sobriety-and-the-twelve-traditions
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
For our ongoing video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g
Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519
We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments. -
Emotional Sobriety, Stewardship & Service (Part One)
Recovery (and Emotional Sobriety) are contagious! Joe Chisholm returns to the pod to chat with Thom and Patrick about the benefits we can reap from looking outward, focusing on mutual aid rather than self-help. 12 Step recovery groups are “chaordic,” “communitarian” spaces where we can find the structure we need but also the latitude to be spontaneous. As we step into a more conscious life of recovery, we create positive ripples that affect the lives of others in unexpected ways. In this episode and the next (when Allen returns to the show), we discuss how to make more and greater ripples.
Read Joe’s new blog post Servitude & Stewardship: Emotional Sobriety and the Twelve Traditions:
https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/blog/blog/7165598/servitude-stewardship-emotional-sobriety-and-the-twelve-traditions
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
For our ongoing video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g
Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519
We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments. -
A New Perspective on Failure
As we become more awakened in emotional sobriety, we begin to challenge all our old ideas. The power struggle of emotional dependency and the temptation to frame our experience according to "shoulds," are hurdles to overcome. To cast ourselves in a negative light because we fail, lose, or are disappointed is living a life that’s only partially lived.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
For our ongoing video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g
Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519
We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments. -
Authentic Values
How can we learn to live in better alignment with our values? Some of our values are unconscious, and benefit by being brought into the light. We run into problems when we identify more with our false selves than our genuine selves. Where we are with our self-esteem can have a massive influence on how these dynamics play out.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
For our ongoing video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g
Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519
We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments. -
Ripple Effect
Thom and Allen hold down the fort to discuss the role of honesty in therapy. Allen shares the profoundly positive feedback he received from someone who brought Emotional Sobriety to their recovery while in prison.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
For our ongoing video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g
Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519
We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Customer Reviews
Thank you!
Just found your writings and book and this podcast. I have been without alcohol for over seven years 3/22/2015 but I have never had emotional sobriety, not even for a minute. Some how I have not had to go to alcohol to feel okay but as we know at some point it is either that or worse. I have gone back to AA and I am humble enough to know at this moment that I cannot stay sane and not do the work of the 12 steps and find a way to deflate my ego.
Can’t get enough
I’m new to Al-Anon and my partner is new to AA (almost 2 months in) and we rarely agree on things lately (imagine that 😉) but we both agree on listening to this podcast together at the end of our hectic days. I have been in therapy for many years and have been a self-help/personal development junkie for a long time, but not only what they say here, but how they say it and how they interact with one another is therapeutic. These guys are so down to earth, humble, real, wise, and relevant, while also challenging me to look at myself in ways that hold myself with more dignity and responsibility. I have unwittingly been a compulsive emotional blamer and felt so self-righteous and justified in my sophisticated b.s. I’m not easily called out by others, including therapists but this podcast illuminates my insidiously destructive externally focused self-esteem that’s constantly being normalized by our culture. Codependency is so terribly NORMAL in our culture. It takes a hitting of rock bottom of normalcy to realize how noxious it is. These guys are so humanizing yet challenging of this noxious status quo of codependency. Emotional sobriety is not being unemotional or dissociative or in emotional denial. It’s being self possessed and integrated within. It’s about becoming more human, not less, but in an authentic and autonomous way, I gather. I highly recommend this podcast and these guys have books I’m getting so much out of too. Pain and suffering is such a primer for healing transformation or destructive addiction including addiction to control, I think I’m finally choosing the former- for real. This podcast is an essential part of my recovery right now.
Thanks
I really get a lot from these podcasts- I find them very helpful in my quest for Emotional Sobriety. This truly is the Fourth Dimension that Bill Wilson talked about. As a person in recovery(10/13/1997) I needed to go one step further and I received the roadmap here in these podcasts and Thursday night meetings. Thanks for all your efforts! Joni Cobb
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