Talking Istanbullocks: Comedy Pubcast Jorma Kirkko and Ray Mac

''The funniest podcast of all time with the two funniest lads'' - Eamonn Holmes.
Comedy variety and chat from a sunny Istanbul.

#ComedyPodcast #FunnyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #JormaKirklo #RayMac #MorganFreemanPoem #SpoofHoroscopes #FakePsychic #TrueOrFalseQuiz #AnimalFacts #FantasticMrFox #PodcastBanter #LieDetectorTest #RectalPolygraph #Marmite #Psychiatology #NickiMinaj #EamonHolmes #PsychicPredictions #PodcastInTurkey #IstanbulComedy
Transcript
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SQNpkbRxew8NS0Yrimu9_DM51ZouDCJsCXNwsBO9H68/edit
Episode Highlights

1. Introduction
  - Introduction to the episode by Jorma Kirkko and Ray Mac.
  - Mention of sponsors, James Joyce Irish Pub and Potato Storage International Magazine - 'the most a-peeling magazine for potato storers'
2. Episode Highlights and chat
Discussion about Ray stepping in dogshit while wearing sandalsPsychiatology - Ray takes the rectal polygraph test to discuss his hyper-sexual urges for Dr. Brutus HimmlerHoroscopes and Pscyhic Predictions for MayPost of the WeekTrue or False QuizMorgan Freeman poem
3. Morgan Freeman Funny Poem
Morgan Freeman reads his poem "The Human Atom," requested by a listener. Dealing with not understanding physics and falling off horsesDiscussion about horses with moustaches4. True or False Quiz and chat
German word for fox is Fuchs - for Fuchs sake!Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald DahlMeryl Strep...er...Streep...Stripper?
5. Psychic Predictions with Honzie
  - Honzie's horoscopes and psychic predictions for the month of May.
Eamon Holmes, Manchester United, Nicki Minaj
6. Dr. Brutus Himmler Rectal Polygraph on Ray
Ray undergoes some painful psychiatologyWe've no KY Jelly - only MarmiteRay's innermost erotic thoughts come to lightResidential Therapy Required
9. YouTube Channel Promotion
  - Promotion of the podcast’s YouTube channel and recent uploads.
10. Post of the Week
a genie gives a man a wish and he gets a 30cm tall piano player by mistake
11. hanks and Closing Credits
  - Closing remarks, credits, and thank-yous to contributors and sponsors.


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''The funniest 30-40 minutes of your week'' - Liam Neeson
For the transcript please click here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z2tPDLkDshWsRGAzX_nFp8g0eEXCZ8OW/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=112544040379232077039&rtpof=true&sd=true
Episode Highlights:
1. "The Chinese Year of the Istanbullocks" - Intro
* Jorma and Ray kick off the show with humorous anecdotes, including Ray's hilarious recount of applying Canestan and Trabacort creams to treat a yeast infection.
* Shoutout to "De-worming World Magazine" for sponsoring the episode, bringing humor to the subject of pet parasite control.
2. Morgan Freeman's Poem:
  - A weekly feature where Morgan Freeman reads an original poem requested by David from Kildare on a topic requested by a listener. This week's poem, "Climate Change by Morgan Freeman," reflects on the changing weather patterns and their impact on his mood.
* Call for listeners to send in their poetry requests to talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com.
3. True or False Segment:
  * Mozart making fun of a singer he disliked, mispronouncing Mozart and how Germans are obsessed with poo
4. Sketch: Woke Bloke Kaiden Stokes Tries To Cancel Culture At The British Library
  * Kaiden Stokes threatens to burn lots of children’s classics such as The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Robin Hood but accidentally gets caught out when his mobile phone reveals he has been watching porn in the toilets.
5. Segment: Kiss and Tell:
  * The boys help a female listener decide whether to continue with a relationship, involving a man with a "Lord of the Rings" fantasy.
6. Post of the Week:
  * Joke sent in to Blackmilkshake Facebook page, the podcast’s sister project.
7. Closing:
  * Encouragement for listeners to subscribe, download past episodes, and share with friends.
  * Reminder to send in poetry requests and interact with the show.
#TalkingIstanbulllocksPodcast
#WeirdBedrooomBehaviour
#IstanbulComedy
#MorganFreemanPoem
#Funny
#DeWormingWorldMagazine
#KissAndTell
#PostOfTheWeek
#MozartTrivia
#MispronouncingMozart
#WokeParody
#WokeCulture
#CancelCulture
#CancellingChildrensBooks
#LordOfTheRingsFetish
#GettingCaughtMasturbating
#GlobalWarming
#BritishComedy
#IrishComedy
#expatpodcast
Call to Action:
- Subscribe on your favourite podcast app.
- Download and share past episodes.
- Send poetry requests to talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com.

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Could Trump really have a body double? Donald Trump’s court behaviour is suspicious but could the real Donald be hiding on a desert island with Chris the Dog, getting updates via satellite phone from Marjorie Taylor Swift?
We dive into the bizarre world of Kristi Noem, the notorious pet contract killer and how Alanis Morisette ironically doesn't understand irony and other annoying song lyrics. How many words can Des'ree possibly get to rhyme with 'most' before her career is toast or before we mention Dolly Parton's Greatest 'Its

#DonaldTrumpSketch #BodyDouble #LostOnADesertIsland #KristiNoem #SongLyrics #DollyParton #ComedyPodcast ##BritishComedy #IrishComedy #Banter #MorganFreemanPoetry #MarjorieTaylorGreenParody #KlanMom #AlanisMorisette #TalkingIstanbullocksYouTube #IstanbulPodcast #expatpodcast
Summary:
Chinese New Year of The Talking Istanbullocks: ''the magazine that trains young men to not wear underpants under their jeans and knock at bored housewive’s doors to do essential repairs''; Bob Guccione Junior - Guns n Roses
Morgan Freeman: ''Silk Pajamas and Spanking by Morgan Freeman'', ''Donald farts in court, his orange head with disdain shakes,
As he dines on Filet-O-Fish,Big Macs and milkshakes.'', ''Stay away from under 40’s and women in porn,
No matter how much they might give you the horn.''
Donald Trump:
Agent Orange. Clan Mom calling. Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once.
Donald: What do you say?
Marjorie Taylor: I said ‘I shall say this only once’.
Donald: No. Not that bit. The Asian Orange thing. I don’t get it Marjorie.
Marjorie Taylor Swift: Donald! You’re not supposed to use my name in case the cabal is listening in. You’re AGENT Orange.
True or False Quiz: Worst song lyrics ever - Alanis Morisette; Dolly Parton cover; Des'ree, Agadoo - Black Lace
Watch our YouTube Channel: Talking Istanbullocks
Post Of The Week: Funny joke
That's All Folks



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In the outrageous 70th episode we celebrate as a seedy Irish farmer attempts to have his collection of vintage soft-porn magazines valued on The Antiques Roadshow, and discuss Eurovision and enjoy a doleful Irish folk song with a surprisingly rude theme.
#TalkingIstanbullocks #VintageErotica #Eurovisionbanter #AntiquesRoadshowComedySketch #ComedyPodcast #IrishFolk #70Episodes #ChristyMooreRipOff #RudeSong #Britishcomedy #irishcomedy #expatpodcast

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The boys compare tigers' and Donald Trump's eating habits; discuss Kate Bush choreography; Morgan Freeman is fired from a commercial he did for the Egyptian Tourist Board for offering ''Egypt, like nostalgia and kids' TV just isn't what it used to be''. Meanwhile Liam Neeson pops in to discuss his latest rom-com script, Glove Actually, that sounds somewhat familiar and then he sulks when he gets a call from Spielberg AND realises he's forgotten his sandwiches.
Transcript:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ySBqoOuOpUnVzqfXIC164Iv36CF7yjhtkz9_Kr0erhM/edit
#comedypodcast #LiamNeesonRomCom #LiamNeesonInterview #PoemAboutEgypt #ComedyInterview #MorganFreemanReadsPoetry #DonaldTrumpEatingHabits #LoveActuallyParody #SpielbergCalls Neeson
Episode Summary

Chinese New Year Of The IstanbullocksSponsored by Reader's Wives Magazine: Finding your neighbour in the nip and Turkish hospitality from James Joyce Irish Pub, IstanbulMorgan Freeman Poem: The Ancient Sands of Egypt - The Egyptian Tourist Board fire Morgan for his poem - 'It's not an easy place to visit these days, It’s especially bad for women and gays, Cairo’s crowded, dirty and dangerous for driversi But go to the coasts and you’ll find it nicer' - Is Turkey nicer than Egypt? - Send your poetry request to Morgan at talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com'Subscribe, Share and Comment- Talking Istanbullocks YouTube Channel - Kaiden Stokes 'The Really Woke Bloke' video.Celebrity True or False: 'From Willie to Bush' * Kate Bush true or False * Welsh Bafta * 'I'm partial to a bit of Bush' * Tigers Tongues are sharper than women's * This is a family show * Donald Trump is another large orange animal * What Donald Trump has for dinner * Eye of the TigerLiam Neeson Interview: * Spielberg hasn't confirmed * With Bill Nighy at the zoo * Germans have silly accents * Glove Actually * Haven't had a woman for over eight days * Four Weddings and a fucking Funeral * Liam Neeson was never in Love Actually* I have a particular set of skills * Can you say prozzies anymore?Blackmilkshake Post of the Week - joke sent in to comedy Facebook page *Not everyone who shites on you is your enemyEnd Credits: Next week a song about 80's erotica * request for Morgan Freeman poems and Kiss and Tell Stories to talkingistnbullocks@gmail.com'No animals or copyright were violated during the making of this podcast'


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Morgan Freeman gives his opinion on Matt Barr, the man with the biggest penis in Britain; Honzie delivers April's horoscopes and a racing tip while Ray tells Jorma about his favourite willie: Willie Nelson and an arse ticklers club.
This show is sponsored by James Joyce Irish Pub, Istanbul and Spick And Span Magazine
#ComedySketches #Banter #MattBarr #BritainsBiggestPenis #WillieNelson #SizeIsntEverything #MorganFreeManPoetry #AprilHoroscopes #Honzie #JamesJoyceIrishPubIstanbul #SpickAndSpan #ArseTicklers #JeffWode
Transcript:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eoxOKhjy9M1k26_q3xNNQJs1L113DNlCIKH3ifnwmCE/edit?usp=sharing

'Episode Summary

Chinese New Year Of The IstanbullocksSponsored by Spick and Span Magazine: Ray's 80's erotica cupboard and shenanigans in James Joyce Irish Pub, IstanbulMorgan Freeman Poem: Size Isn't Everything - Jeff Wode 'better in their general life and 'he's much better in our sex life and in our general life' - Cat Deeley and Ben Shepherd discuss Matt Barr's Penis - twelve inches - Academy Awards - John Thomas - This Morning TV showIt's not what you've got, it's where you stick it - Talking Istanbullocks YouTube Channel - Kaiden Stokes 'The Really Woke Bloke' video, Gladiator parody videoCelebrity True or False: Willie Nelson's Black Belt * Karate/Kung Fu * Jorma's Willie Nelson in the woods story * A Cross Joint 'what your grandchildren will be smoking in the future' * Roofies and Baileys * 'Willie gets the horn * Shotgun Willie' * 'Willie thinks he's hard' * KY Jelly * who Willie Nelson worked with * 'I love Willie' *ThespiansHonzie's Horoscopes for April: South African bogus astonomer * a rat in my kitchen * horse racing tips * Grand Nation * Gladiator homage * I am Maximus * James Earl Ray * Jack Nicholas vs Jack NicholsonBlackmilkshake Post of the Week - joke sent in to comedy Facebook page * Arse Ticklers Istanbul * Putting a rubber on the end of your stick *End Credits: Liam Neeson interview next week * request for Morgan Freeman poems and Kiss and Tell Stories to talkingistnbullocks@gmail.com'No animals or copyright were violated during the making of this podcast'
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