The Teen Mind Corey Busch

On today's show, we talk about a force that has the potential to make an impact on the depression and anxiety of millions of people.  What is that force, and how can it help you and your family.  
 
So, what’s up with David? One thing I haven’t told you about him yet, is that David is Catholic. And every Wednesday night, he goes to confirmation class. His teacher is nice, and tries really hard to get this group of teenagers to care about the class, but the fact is that most of them don’t want to be there.
 
David spends the time daydreaming, and he mostly thinks about homework and friends, the usual teenage stuff, but on one particular Wednesday night, he’s not in a great mood, and he starts thinking about how much this feels like a waste of time. And a resentment starts to build.
 
It starts as a resenting this class, but quickly builds to resenting his teacher, his priest, his church, and then pretty soon, he’s feeling a pretty intense anger toward the Catholic church as a whole.
 
For his whole life, David’s gone through the motions, first confession, first communion, and now confirmation, and he never really questioned anything until this confirmation class.   One way the class has influenced him is that it has forced him to think: Do I believe this stuff? Do I really belong here?
 
And so on this Wednesday night, his resentment gets him thinking a lot more about these hard questions, “Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about if God is real or not? They talk about God like it’s a given that we just believe in him, but what if I’m not sure. It’s like everyone is just going through the motions, just coming to this stupid class because our parents make us, because that’s what you’re supposed to do. I can’t believe I’m sitting here, pretending like I’m 100% on board, filling out this worksheet like a good little Catholic boy.”
 
He wants to stand up and just say this to the entire room, to just unleash the doubt and profanity that’s swirling around in his head. But, his anxiety part is not going to let that happen, so instead, he opens up to a blank page in his notebook, and goes to town. He writes this angry rant with so much passion, that he tears the page with his pen. Every third word is an F bomb, and as he goes, he feels the pressure that’s been building in his head start to release.
 
He’s still writing as the teacher dismisses class, and he takes some deep breaths, and goes home.
 
Hi I’m Corey Busch, and you’re listening to The Teen Mind. Today, as you guessed, we’re talking about faith…I know, didn’t see that one coming. We normally think about religion and God in this box over here, and then mental health in this other box over there. But really, they are very closely related. Religion can have a negative impact on mental health, and it can have a positive impact. Today, we’re going to talk about how faith in a higher power can be a huge benefit to a person’s mental health, and why the teenage years are so important in the formation of faith.  
 
But first, back to David.
 
That night, he can’t stop thinking about it. He wants to drop out of confirmation, he wants to write an angry letter to the priest or the bishop or the pope or all of them.   But most of all, he just wants to talk to someone, he still feels like he needs to get this off his chest, to know that he’s not the only person that thinks these things.
 
So, he works up the guts to say something to his mom. His anxiety is worked up, but it’s not completely taking over. So he goes to his mom and says,
 
“Mom, what’s the point of going to confirmation class? It’s super boring and I just really don’t want to do it.”
 
Sheila closes her book. She just sits there for a few seconds, thinking of what to say. She starts with what she thinks she’s supposed to say:
 
“Well, umm…y’know ummm, I didn’t love my confirmation class, but I’m re

We take a close look at David’s mind using an approach that has probably helped more people with anxiety and depression than any other mental health model.
 
Tags: parenting, parenting teens, parenting skills, teen depression, teen anxiety, teen, teens, teenager, counseling, therapy, mental health, anxiety, depression, anxiety in teens, anxiety in children, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Mindfulness, CBT
 
It’s a Friday in late February, and David is in English class. Ms. Washington, the teacher who triggers his anxiety the most, is passing back graded papers. She hands them back face down on each student’s desk as they file into class.   David sees her approach his desk, and his anxiety rises some, but not as much as it used to. He looks up and meets her gaze, and suddenly it’s like his throat is on fire and his heartbeat is smashing against his chest. Her face is sharp, her mouth small and serious, and in that moment, David is certain he knows what she is thinking. He can almost hear her thoughts saying, “This paper is pathetic, and I am very disappointed in you, and your parents are disappointed in you, and everyone is disappointed in you.”
 
He knows that when he turns that paper over, it’s going to be a bad grade, a D or an F. He’s sweating as he flips it over and—he can’t believe it. It’s an A-, the best grade he’s gotten from her all year.
 
Hello, I’m Corey Busch and you’re listening to the Teen Mind—the show where we follow one teenager and his family and learn to change the way we understand our minds and the minds of the people closest to us.
So, today, we take a close look at David’s mind using a model that has probably helped more people with anxiety and depression than any other mental health model.
And a few quick notes: David and his family are fictional characters. Any resemblance to real people is strictly coincidental.   Also, if you haven’t already, I recommend starting from episode 1 and working your way through before listening to this one.
 
 
So David feels relieved by this A-, but he also feels stupid and embarrassed. He was sure that this paper was a disaster. How could he have been so wrong?
And as he thinks about it, he realizes how ridiculous he was being. Why would he think that he could figure out his grade based on Ms. Washington’s facial expression? She made that face all the time. That’s just how she looks.
 
By this time, David has practiced talking with his anxiety enough, that he decides to ask it, “why did you get so worried just because she made a mean face?” And a few seconds later, in his mind, he hears it reply, “Because I don’t want you to get rejected, and that face looks like rejection.”
 
Up until now, David hadn’t been paying much attention to the thoughts brought on by his anxiety. He’d been focused on the feelings of it: the burning in his throat, his pounding chest, the vague sense of dread. But after this episode with Ms. Washington, he decides, again, to just pay attention. So over the next few days, he carries a small notebook, and records a tick mark every time his anxiety makes him think irrationally. And he is surprised by what he finds.
 
His anxiety makes him think he can read minds.
 
Not in an ESP kind of way, but in just the way he did with Ms. Washington. For example, almost every time he talks with his friends, he feels a low-level anxiety, which is accompanied by a running narrative of what he imagines his friends are thinking. And sometimes it’s positive, but it’s often not.
“she thinks I’m an idiot; they don’t actually like me, they’re just being nice because they feel sorry for me; they must think that was a stupid thing to say.”
 
And so he’s keeping track of these mind-reading thoughts, and , after several days, something starts to happen: He notices fewer tick marks each day. His anxious thoughts are decreasing. And after abo

David learns a way of thinking about and listening to his anxiety that finally helps it calm down.

Today, we explore what causes David’s anxiety. Is it nature or nurture?  And why is David’s amygdala triggered so badly by one bad grade? The amygdala is supposed to keep us safe from things like predators and starvation. So what we’re really asking here is, why do we, living comfortable first-world lives, feel anxiety at all?

 

Tags: parenting, parenting teens, parenting skills, teen depression, teen anxiety, teen, teens, teenager, counseling, therapy, mental health, anxiety, depression, anxiety in teens, anxiety in children

We find out that David has anxiety.  Okay...but what exactly does that mean?  A little brain science, a little physiology, and a tiny little TSA agent.  

 

Find more at theteenmind.com

Music: paragraphs.bandcamp.com

email me: corey@elementscounselingmn.com

 

Tags: parenting, parenting teens, parenting skills, teen depression, teen anxiety, teen, teens, teenager, counseling, therapy, mental health, anxiety, depression, anxiety in teens, anxiety in children

Sheila finds her son, David, awake in the middle of the night.  Something is wrong and he's not talking about it.  

Find out more at theteenmind.com

 

Tags: parenting, parenting teens, parenting skills, teen depression, teen anxiety, teen, teens, teenager, counseling, therapy, mental health, anxiety, depression, anxiety in teens, anxiety in children