Life Answers: A Complete Audiobook Reading of Sri Nisargadatta Maharajah's I AM THAT Free Association Radio

Is Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj a kind of "father to the soul" of his followers? Is he a father to your soul? In what way? [Comments welcome!]



“Who am I, finally, when I’m not playing? A poor orphan left out in the cold among sensations, shivering on the street corners of Reality, forced to sleep on the steps of Sadness and to eat the bread offered by Fantasy. I was told that my father, whom I never knew, is called God, but the name means nothing to me. Sometimes at night, when I’m feeling lonely, I call out to him with tears and form an idea of him I can love. But then it occurs to me that I don’t know him, that perhaps he’s not how I imagine, that perhaps this figure has never been the father of my soul…”



-Fernando Pessoa (The Book of Disquiet)

“An episode chiefly inspired by a 10 second piece of animation by Alyssa ⁠on her YouTube channel⁠.

Check out the full TWELVE SECOND video (plot-twist?)⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠.

Also, if you enjoyed the vid version of this on Spotify, please consider subscribing to my new YouTube Channel Living The Book of Disquiet, for more of these 🙏🏼

--

This episode is also inspired by the following quote from fragment 32 of Fernando Pessoa's Book of Disquiet:

Underlying everything, the hushed night was the tomb of God (and my soul felt sorry for God).”

OTHER TOPICS THAT CROP UP: 

-Lucid Dreaming: Rob’s experiences with lucid dreaming and the techniques he used to achieve it (counting backwards, repeating a phrase while falling asleep).

-Finding Beauty in the Mundane: the concept of cultivating a "waking dream" mentality, where one finds wonder and beauty in everyday experiences. Cf. Eckhart Tolle/Nisargadatta.

The Yearning for Connection: Lost loves, and the desire to recapture those feelings of connection and shared experiences. The possibility of finding a similar connection through lucid dreaming.

-Techniques for Lucid Dreaming: dream journaling, sensory deprivation, and meditation.

Life as a Waking Dream: living one’s life as a lucid dream state, rather than feeling trapped in our waking nightmares.

-In The Forest of Estrangement: A text written in 1912 and forming the initial foundations for TBOD according to a letter to João de Lebre e Lima, in which FP talks about his new project. Read both the letter, as well as In The Forest of Estrangement ⁠here⁠.

"Sadly, or perhaps not, I recognize that I have an arid heart. An adjective matters more to me than the real weeping of a human soul. But sometimes I’m different."

-Fernando Pessoa

--

I'm taking a bit of a break from Nisargadatta for a while. Heading off to do a bit of communing with another of my gurus (Fernando Pessoa) who I think still has a fair amount to teach me.

If you'd like to keep in touch, please consider joining us on Spotify (or iTunes) for more of this kind of soul-searching.



Thank you, friends.



🙏🏼🦋

M: In my world love is the only law. I do not ask for love, I give it. Such is my nature. 

Q: I see you living your life according to a pattern. You run a meditation class in the morning, lecture and have discussions regularly; twice daily there is worship (puja) and religious singing (bhajan) in the evening. You seem to adhere to the routine scrupulously. 

M: The worship and the singing are as I found them and I saw no reason to interfere. The general routine is according to the wishes of the people with whom I happen to live or who come to listen. They are working people, with many obligations and the timings are for their convenience. Some repetitive routine is inevitable. Even animals and plants have their time-tables. 

Q: Yes, we see a regular sequence in all life. Who maintains the order? Is there an inner ruler, who lays down laws and enforces order? 

M: Everything moves according to its nature. Where is the need of a policeman? Every action creates a reaction, which balances and neutralises the action. Everything happens, but there is a continuous cancelling out, and in the end it is as if nothing happened. 

Q: Do not console me with final harmonies. The accounts tally, but the loss is mine. 

M: Wait and see. You may end up with a profit good enough to justify the outlays.

Q: What is necessary?
M: To grow is necessary. To outgrow is necessary. To leave behind the good for the sake of the better is necessary.
Q: To what end?
M: The end is in the beginning. You end where you start — in the Absolute.
Q: Why all this trouble then? To come back to where I started?
M: Whose trouble? Which trouble? Do you pity the seed that is to grow and multiply till it becomes a mighty forest? Do you kill an infant to save him from the bother of living? What is wrong with life, ever more life? Remove the obstacles to growing and all your personal, social, economic and political problems will just dissolve. The universe is perfect as a whole and the part's striving for perfection is a way of joy. Willingly sacrifice the imperfect to the perfect and there will be no more talk about good and evil.
Q: Yet we are afraid of the better and cling to the worse.
M: This is our stupidity, verging on insanity.

Q: Do you advise shunning pleasure and pursuing pain? 

M: No, nor pursuing pleasure and shunning pain. Accept both as they come, enjoy both while they last, let them go, as they must. 

Q: How can I possibly enjoy pain? Physical pain calls for action. 

M: Of course. And so does Mental. The bliss is in the awareness of it, in not shrinking, or in any way turning away from it. All happiness comes from awareness. The more we are conscious, the deeper the joy. Acceptance of pain, non-resistance, courage and endurance — these open deep and perennial sources of real happiness, true bliss. 

Q: Why should pain be more effective than pleasure? 

M: Pleasure is readily accepted, while all the powers of the self reject pain. As the acceptance of pain is the denial of the self, and the self stands in the way of true happiness, the wholehearted acceptance of pain releases the springs of happiness. 

Q: Does the acceptance of suffering act the same way?