Kagro in the Morning David Waldman

Greg Dworkin has had a raft o’stories offshore for days now, but David Waldman, always a stickler for protocol, wouldn’t allow him to dock until today. Let’s see what we have on deck...
Hey, DIDYA HEAR? Donald Trump is a convicted felon! It really couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy… In fact, it only happens to people who are convicted of felonies! That’s how America is supposed to work! Trump’s 34 felony convictions certainly were not rigged, as Trump riggers apparently couldn’t find enough riggees in this particular case. And to think, quite a few experts (and every single Democrat) were worried about how this one would turn out. But now, in case you haven’t heard, DONALD TRUMP IS A FELON. You know who hasn’t heard though? Enough people. Enough people have not heard that Donald Trump is a felon.
Some believe that being a convicted felon should carry some restrictions. Owning a gun, serving on a jury, running for elected office... for instance... are just not allowed in many states. Washington State believes in Law and Order, and not letting Donald on the ballot. Last Thursday was the moment that Donald J. Trump finally became precedent, but one that SCOTUS will ignore.
Trump has felonies that he has not been convicted of, and cranks out more almost every day.
Meanwhile, Sam Alito has other things to be concerned about. Like having official security details harass his Lib neighbors.
Israel won’t have Bezalel Smotrich to kick around anymore, especially if they allow peace to break out.
The US calls Mexico  “a country rife with gender-based violence and misogyny”, but we aren’t the ones electing Claudia Sheinbaum as President of our country, are we? Face it, we would have stopped on her last name here. 

Well, Trump’s trial jury decided to head into the weekend early, scuttling our chance to hear David Waldman vocally impersonate each member of the 118th Congress over the course of one KITM. Maybe next week.
TFFG earned another F last night. In fact, he earned 34 more. The question is, do all of those F’s finally take him to a big fat L? To us in the hoi polloi, it would seem apparent, but let’s stand back and let the experts think this through… Yes, at long last it does seem as if Donald Trump might not be an invincible outlaw, but only a grubby little two-bit crook to the press as well.
Of course you are now asking “How does this hurt Joe Biden?” Well, unlike Trump’s, the jury’s still out on that verdict. Piers Morgan and Marco Rubio are definitely going to vote for Trump now, but as Greg Dworkin and Keith Olbermann always remind us, a percent or two change might make a big difference. 
Meanwhile Samuel Alito continues to stand for a woman’s right to choose to support the overthrow of democracy.
Judge Aileen Cannon seems a little slow… Is it because she’s a little slow, or does it just seem that way?
Sadly for RFK Jr.’s VP pick Nicole Shanahan, in rich wack-job conspiratorial fringe circles, there’s only so many dweebs to choose from.
The key to peace in the Middle East might be an uprising from the middle.

It's Thursday, and David Waldman returns! Greg Dworkin returns!! and Armando returns!!! They don’t make Thursdays any better than this.
In New York, Donald Trump’s first criminal trial jury deliberates. They have requested that a few bits of testimony previously drowned out by TFFG snore-farts to be repeated, with special attention given to the felonious bits. Fox smooths out the nuances by demanding that all US citizens but Trump be frog-marched to awaiting squad cars.
If Florida deputy sheriff John Mark Dougan loves Russia so much that he produced 150 misinformation news sites, he should just move there… Oh, he did. 
For Arizona for Abortion Access, Abortion is their middle name, and they don’t shy from it.
Reno 911 life imitates art, but with less funny.
An Iceland volcano erupts dramatically, as usual, but even Icelanders are becoming annoyed.
We have the polls! Nostradamus wouldn’t be able predict who is going to win this thing. As for Israel and Palestine, most Americans polled gave an answer to the question.
The verdict is in. Justices Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas judge Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas to be not guilty on all present and future charges. Their wives, however, they cannot vouch for. 
If Alito’s wife does the flag waving in their relationship, Keith Olbermann wonders what she likes so much about that Phillies flag outside.

David Waldman brings the wit and wisdom to today’s KITM. Greg Dworkin’s appearance adds to that… or maybe he multiplies it.
Donald Trump’s family have been showing up at his trial lately, just in case visitation becomes more restricted in the near future. Pundits are divided between those that believe a guilty verdict would help Trump, and those who believe it would hurt Biden. Then there are those who aren’t sure if it will matter enough one way or the other.  Young and nonwhite voters may not find their enthusiasms lifted by Robert De Niro.David Waldman brings the wit and wisdom to today’s KITM. Greg Dworkin’s appearance adds to that… or maybe he multiplies it.
Donald Trump’s family have been showing up at his trial lately, just in case visitation becomes more restricted in the near future. Pundits are divided between those that believe a guilty verdict would help Trump, and those who believe it would hurt Biden. Then there are those who aren’t sure if it will matter enough one way or the other.  Young and nonwhite voters may not find their enthusiasms lifted by Robert De Niro.
Over in the classified documents case, Trump doesn’t even need a conviction to become the winner. Judge Aileen Cannon will punish those who have the gall to even accuse her Donald.
It looks as if Justice Samuel Alito and his wife got the neighbors they deserve. 
The Gop candidate for NC governor got his, you’ll have to find your own way to get yours. Establishment Gops are hanging on by their fingernails in Texas. Ohio won’t be able to trade abortion rights for allowing Joe Biden on the ballot.
Oh, and we almost forgot about the UK. Over there, they can just throw an election if they want to settle things, which is what Prime Minister Rishi Sunak wanted to do, although he might soon regret it.

David Waldman has had enough grilling and hammocking, back to the microphone!
Closing arguments have begun in the People of New York vs. Orange J. Turd, and well,  he might not be as easy to flush as one would think standing outside the stall.
Once reelected, fake electors plan to fake elections better.
The Washington Post buried the Alito upside-down flag story for three years, because who doesn’t signal international distress when attacked by passive-aggressive lawn signs? Martha-Ann Alito ran a “novelty flag” up the pole to show reporters she wasn’t one to trifle with. Who knows what novelty flag she chose, it would depend on which county fair she bought it at. None of that explains the Alito Pine-Sol® flag at their beach home. In order to understand that, and the fast growing New Apostolic Reformation Christain Nationalist movement, you need not just one, but two comprehensive guides on hand. The Texas GOP platform calls for the Bible in schools, and for Texas dirt to have more of a vote than urban Blacks.
Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Sarah Leach, a West Michigan newspaper editor who tried to staff a dozen understaffed newsrooms before her employer, Gannett, fired her. Pumping out pink slime isn’t just cheaper, but no employees are more tractable than any employees.
Ohio Republicans are having fun keeping Joe Biden off the presidential ballot. Governor Mike DeWine might be an Ohio Gop, but as with COVID, he’s no idiot.

Another installment in our continuing series, “Are You Better Off Now, with an Episode From Four Years Ago?”
Things were very different on May 27, 2020. For one thing, it was a Wednesday. Also, there was a global pandemic, and we had the worst possible president.
Here’s how Scott Anderson described it, using the primitive tools we had available to us in those times:
David Waldman and Greg Dworkin clocked into their home offices early this morning to apply their noses to their respective sanitized KITM grindstones:
It turns out that most people want to continue to live, and would like others alive as well. A few, however, are happy to trade you for them. That is, as long as you remain docile when it comes harvest time. 100,000 dead Americans would be just the start. Donald Trump knows what a life is worth, and is shopping for a bargain.
 
Trump hasn’t handled the coronavirus pandemic adequately at all, ever, thus allowing straightforward tracking of his performance. Trump will continue to do everything awfully, and most expect him to destroy and endanger more. Still somehow, the election outcome remains in doubt. That’s because it’s now Democrats versus authoritarians, and authoritarians just aren’t as enthusiastic about people voting as much as Democrats are. Maga boys hated authority about a minute ago, but rekindled their love early this morning. Public lynching of computers and phones are sure to follow if they continue to refuse to let Donald lie and slander.
House Republicans so hate seeing anyone have an easy time voting, they’re filing a lawsuit against proxy voting.
In a triumph of technology, ingenuity and human determination, a man made giant, animatronic Kookaburra. Also, SpaceX will be the first private company to send people into space.