Melbourne 2019: Badass Bottas

Rising from the ashes of his 2018 season, Bottas emerges from his deep forest walkabout sporting a beard that's granted him obvious superpowers. Melbourne brought us a good ol' fashioned Hamilton-spanking, some grotesquely bottom-feeding Ferraris, an inexplicable stinker of a drive from Gasly, impressive showings from both Haases and the Alfa of Kimi Raikkonen, and an anything-but-triumphant Renault debut by our boy Ricciardo. And get this... No. Safety. Car. I know, right?