Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo Christian Parenting

When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid. 

Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally. 

Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents. 

My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes. 

In this episode we chat about: 
When to see a therapist or counselorWhy counseling is so important for families Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew
Chapters:
00:00
Introduction and Personal Connection
01:36
Dr. Cassie Reed's Background and Passion
08:35
Recognizing the Need for Professional Help
10:06
Finding Affordable Therapy Options
12:55
The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children
14:36
Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior
22:26
Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children
23:49
Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children
26:19
The Impact of Technology on Children's Mental Health
27:10
Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents
29:04
Dr. Cassie Reid's Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

CassieReid.com

Cassie’s Instagram

Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid

Come Home

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

My Daddy’s Hero


Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” —1 Samuel 7:12
The Israelites were in desperate need of a victory against the Philistines. Just as they were convincing themselves it was a lost cause, Samuel cried out to God and received an answer in the form of deafening thunder that scared away the enemy and secured an Israelite victory.
Orthodox battle move? No. God protecting his people? Absolutely.
No sooner than they finished their victory lap, Samuel stopped everyone in their tracks to make a critical point. He grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.”
Samuel knew their battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.
Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy. 
What are the Ebenezers in your family? Where do you need to start laying down stones as reminders to your family that God’s faithfulness in the past shows he’s trustworthy for the future?
 
Lord, remind us to always pass down the stories of your faithfulness. Mark [name] with a good memory of your provision, giving them confidence to trust your heart when they can’t see your hand. Help us to celebrate the places where you’ve given us victory, making a lasting memorial of your faithfulness for generations to come.
 
God’s word speaks: Deuteronomy 7:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Lamentations 3:22–23; Psalm 86:15



Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day.

My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.  

My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life.

In this episode we chat about: 
How to live this one life wellHow to push against busy and impossibly full schedulesHow to pay attention to what your soul craves How to help your hurting friends 

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:
Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey
Farrell’s new book: Soulfull

Come Home


Chapters:

00:00
Introduction and Connection
09:50
Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time
16:22
Commitment to Intentional Living
32:21
Finding Hope in Difficult Times



Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” —Philippians 2:3–4
 
We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit. Humility is not ignoring their giftings, but it’s teaching them to be willing to use them in a way that draws attention to the Giver of the gift rather than the gift itself. Humility is also not a call to raise silent or passive kids. Rather, it’s teaching them a quiet and meek spirit before God.
 
Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story. He was righteously indignant when necessary but gentle and loving in leading his flock.
 
We’re praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admitting their mistakes, and recognizing that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).
 
Lord, you’re the perfect model of living humbly while making a kingdom impact on those around you. Give [name] a spirit of humility and the desire to bring you glory, even when it comes with no acknowledgment. Help them to honor others above themselves and to live in your confidence so they don’t need praise or acceptance from others.
 
God’s word speaks: Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; James 4:10; Colossians 3:12


Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you have regrets as a parent? We all do! I have a long list myself. I thought it would be encouraging and super helpful for me to share just a few of my own regrets in the last 17 years of parenting. I asked Kari Kampakis to share her own regrets in this podcast episode. 

I have always loved Kari’s relatable and authenticity as a writer, podcaster and speaker. When I read her encouragement for moms - I feel like she has read my mind. She has a real gift for walking with moms so that we feel so seen. When you encounter Kari, you feel uplifted and equipped but never condemned or shamed. 

My favorite part is when she shares about how to love strong-willed children well. She shares a powerful story of how her husband approached her strong-willed daughter vs her approach. There’s such humility that pours from Kari when she speaks. It gives us all the permission to be honest about our mistakes. And to have the courage to pivot as we discover a better way. 

In this episode we chat about: 
Raising strong-willed kidsHow to decide if you should have another childHow to make health a priority in your home from the start
00:00
Introduction and Getting to Know Each Other
06:21
Parenting the Heart vs. Focusing on Behavior
13:05
Finding Joy in Every Season of Parenthood
29:39
Trusting God to Fill in the Gaps in Parenting
35:56
Delaying Cell Phone Use and Monitoring Social Media

Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess 
Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:
KariKampakis.com
Kari’s book: Love Her Well
Kari’s book: More Than a Mom



Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” —1 Corinthians 9:24
 
The Christian life is more like a marathon than a sprint, requiring significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. From the day we accept Christ until we see him face-to-face, we’re continually building up endurance so we can best run the race set out for us.
 
Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race. We build up our endurance practically by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship.
 
What a GIFT to have author and speaker (and track coach) Dorina Gilmore-Young on with us chatting about endurance. I absolutely loved her perspective as a widow, mom and coach - how endurance is something God produces in our kids through trials. We can pray for that process - that they may endure life’s hardships with Jesus as their strength.
 
Let’s challenge our kids to run well so they will hear Jesus say at the finish line, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).
 
Lord, before you created even one of us, you set us apart for your purposes. Give [name] the endurance to run the race you have planned for their life. Help them to stay the course when they run up against obstacles along the way, reminding them of the importance of putting in the daily work so they are prepared for anything they face.

God’s word speaks: Philippians 3:14; Romans 5:3–4; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 10:36


Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy