@Betches Betches

Sami’s in LA for VidCon, so Jordana and Aleen are here to discuss all the stories of the week. Jordana kicks things off with a recap of her failed attempt at procuring Eras Tour tix in London. Taylor, if you’re listening, Vivid Seats seriously needs to get their act together. Aleen’s heading to Greece next week for her 5 year wedding anniversary (and 10 year dating anniversary!), and reflects on how long term relationships shape you as a person. Speaking of vacations, JLo was papped flying commercial, which raises the question: how tight *is* money right now in the Bennifer household? If you could have insider info on any celeb’s finances, who would you choose? We’re sending a huge congrats to Mindy Kaling, who surprised everyone with an announcement that her 3rd child was born back in February. How many pre-planned IG posts must she have taken to keep that under wraps? In other celebrity offspring news, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri has dropped her dad’s last name, not long after Shiloh Jolie-Pitt announced plans to do the same. The family drama there might be even more fascinating than JLo’s tax return. Next up, despite his fears about the world tour being ruined, Justin played Madison Square Garden this week to an audience that somehow included Martin Scorsese. And notorious hater Hugh Grant tweeted his love of Taylor Swift after her show at Wembley, where Prince William was also spotting shaking it off - was everyone there except Jordana? Finally, filming has commenced on Freaky Friday 2, and we can’t wait to see it in 2025. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Prince William for letting loose at the show. And Vivid Seats is getting a one way ticket to the Caymans for their terrible customer service.
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This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are coming to you from the Spotify studio at Cannes Lions! They kick off the episode with some highlights from the festival, before unpacking Part 2 of the Summer House reunion and the continued Carl and Lindsay drama. In other news, Justin Timberlake has been arrested in the Hamptons for a DWI… This is really going to ruin the world tour. Cayman’s poster boy Armie Hammer is attempting a comeback by reminding everyone he was accused of cannibalism. Maybe he can stay there for a while longer. Joe Alwyn makes a rare public statement about his former relationship with Taylor, and we’re actually not mad at it. Finally, Scooter Braun is officially a manager no more. What is he trying to get ahead of? Listen to hear our theories. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Joe Alwyn for keeping it so classy. And Justin is getting a time out in the Caymans until he can figure out how to call an Uber.
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The Betches are getting ready to head to Cannes next week! They’re ready for a week at Spotify Beach, where Jordana and Jared are going to be on a panel - they’re even on the same flier as John Legend. Helloooooo, legendary. We also hear the Kelce brothers are scheduled to attend too-- will the Betches end up in the presence of Taylor? We’ll report back. Speaking of Taylor, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived aka Matty Healy is engaged to model Gabbriette Bechtel, and we have a lot of thoughts, including a niche theory. From one troubling couple to the next– JLO and Ben Affleck are selling their $60 million dollar mansion. Is a divorce imminent? Why couldn’t they have bought a simple $15 million dollar cottage like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?! Has Jen Garner been secretly planting these press stories? Listen for our thoughts. Finally, they wrap up with a Summer House debrief including the Carl/ Lindsay and Amanda/Kyle of it all. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken is Ciara, because she showed up, looked ethereal, and had Kyle crying. West is taking a time out or maybe an uncomfortable coffee with Ben and JLO.
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All 3 betches are together IRL, and we have a lot to discuss today. So much news, so little time. JLO canceled her tour and tbh, we’re not distraught at all over it. Will this save her marriage? Good luck to her PR team. The Baldwins are coming to TLC – yes, you read that correctly. Mark your calendars for 2025. The three give their hot takes on the Traitors cast announcement, and of course we have to talk about the Summer House finale, and the Cheez Its VS Goldfish of it all. Betch of the Week goes to the casting department for Traitors. TLC was closing in as a second Betch of the Week. We’ll have to see how The Baldwins actually is first. Maybe the network will have a renaissance from this.
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We’re back betch and glad it’s a short week. Sami, Jordana and Aleen recap their Memorial Day Weekend and then give their congrats to Sofia Richie who just became a mom! Are nepo babies the new socialites? That’s the question we’re askin’. Our resident JLO representative Aleen gives the rundown on her recent clapback about her marriage during a press conference. We watched The Challengers and The Idea Of You. Yes we have some hot takes. Like, did they even have chemistry?! The episode wraps up with their recap of the VPR Finale. The Bravo producers will be sent to the Caymans and Billie Eilish is our Betch of the week. Sami can’t stop listening to her new album.
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Cheers betch, it’s almost Memorial Day Weekend.  It’s about to be the summer of Betches. Aleen’s oldest, Mila is ready for the pool and Jordana’s ready for the heat. Well, as the temps rise, one couple seems to be cooling down… JLO and Ben WTF is going on?! And, now Jennifer Garner is getting involved... From one couple to the next, are Taylor and Travis secretly engaged or is Trav not even planning an engagement? The Betches break down the crazy couple headlines. They wrap up with a quick Valley debrief, and Jordana and Sami’s hot takes of Anne Hathaway’s new movie, The Idea Of You.. which leads them to let you know that Harry Styles is single again. Delulu girlies rise up! Our Betch of the Week: Scarlett Johansson fighting against AI. We’re sending Bennifer to the Caymans and will be joined by the AI guy who screwed over ScarJo.
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