Ascend Men The C3 Church

Whatever your relationship status, healthy dating is relevant to you. You’ll likely know single people who don’t want to stay single. Or you’ll be in a church which may create a really healthy environment for dating couples. Or not. Or maybe you have growing kids in your home - in which case this will definitely be useful at some point.

To help us get a balanced perspective we are joined again by Annabel Wheeldon-Clarke of the Engage Network and we also welcome David Payne, customer success manager at the award-winning Christian dating app, SALT.
A few references:
Made by Christians for Christians, SALT is the award-winning dating app that makes meeting single Christians less awkward and a lot more enjoyable.For more on SALT, visit their YouTube channel.Engage Network.Curry's Techtalk article: Is our modern love affair with dating apps fizzling out?The Forbes article: Dating Statistics And Facts In 2024Top Tips
We had so many great tips in this episode, here are my Top 10:
Have difficult conversations earlyConsider getting on a dating app, participate in some of the SALT table eventsHaving a date vs having a relationship are not the same thingDon’t ignore the spiritual element of a relationship. It’s about much more than shared values - your faith is about shared identity.Independence is attractive Annabel’s motto: “Be intentional but not intense”As a church, what more could we be doing to help our people get from A-to-B I.e. single to dating?Older people are wise - seek out somebody you can trust to chat things over withPray and persevereBe better listenersFOR UPCOMING ASCEND EVENTS sign up here.
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WHAT IS ASCEND MEN?Imagine a community of men who are challenged, inspired and equipped to live passionate lives for Jesus. A place where men-care-for-men through a small number of honest personal relationships initiated and supported by regular male-oriented events. Relationships are built shoulder-to-shoulder doing stuff in preference to eye-balling each other!
Ascend Men is that community.
Our podcasts reflect that desire to challenge, inspire and equip our men. Some are light-hearted easy-listens. Some deserve to be digested and pondered. If you love them, tell us - we could do with the encouragement. If you can see ways they could be improved, tell us - feedback is a gift.
Join our Facebook group or email us (ascend@thec3.uk) to hear more about our fantastic breakfasts in Cambridge, Bury and Colchester as well as our Camp in June.

This week we are covering Healthy Singleness and we are privileged to be joined by two esteemed guests: Barry Danylak, author of "Redeeming Singleness: How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life"
& Mike Simpson, Executive Director of the Single Friendly Church Network in the UK.
5-steps to becoming a single-friendly church:1 - Who is single?2 - Language3 - Welcome4 - Teaching5 - LeadershipMore information on the Church Audit can be found here.

In addition to Barry's "redeeming singleness" book we also refer to a condensed theological book, "Singleness in God's Redemptive Story".
The Single Friendly Church network also provides some very helpful 'Survival Tips for Single Christians'.
If you're listening from The C3 Church, I'd love your feedback on your experiences of how welcoming the church is towards singles. So why not drop me an email (ascend@thec3.uk)?
ASCEND CAMP 24 - 7/8th June, Thetford ForestWith less than a week to go, it's very tight whether we can fit you in. Check Brushfire for the latest.
FOR UPCOMING ASCEND EVENTS sign up here.
To subscribe to our weekly inspiring emails, please complete the form here.
WHAT IS ASCEND MEN?Imagine a community of men who are challenged, inspired and equipped to live passionate lives for Jesus. A place where men-care-for-men through a small number of honest personal relationships initiated and supported by regular male-oriented events. Relationships are built shoulder-to-shoulder doing stuff in preference to eye-balling each other!
Ascend Men is that community.
Our podcasts reflect that desire to challenge, inspire and equip our men. Some are light-hearted easy-listens. Some deserve to be digested and pondered. If you love them, tell us - we could do with the encouragement. If you can see ways they could be improved, tell us - feedback is a gift.
Join our Facebook group or email us (ascend@thec3.uk) to hear more about our fantastic breakfasts in Cambridge, Bury and Colchester as well as our Camp in June.

Whilst researching and preparing this series on Relationships, Josh Campbell preached at the C3 Church Cambridge on 22nd April talking about “Courageous Friendships”. As a result, I added-in “Healthy Friendships” to our schedule. Why? Because healthy friendships are fundamental to being single, dating, marrying.
So welcome to the podcast, Pastor Josh Campbell.
Josh referred to two c.1hr sermons delivered Levi Lusko which were “The secret to making friends”  and “You need friends”.
Statistics to put a male orientation on loneliness:
MALE LONELINESSAccording to a recent YouGov poll in the UK:
18% men (1-in-5), don’t have a single close friend1 in 3 men (32%) don’t have a best friendFor women the figures are 12% and 24% so potentially less severeThe main difference is that men struggle to talk about their loneliness than women, which has the effect of making them even more isolated
MALE SUICIDESamaritans' interpretation of the ONS 2022 data for England:
Overall suicide rate of 10.5 per 100,000 (same as 2021)Male suicide rate was 3x that for women i.e. 16.1 per 100,000 compared to a female rate of 5.3 per 100,000The highest suicide rate is in males aged 50-54 (23.1 per 100,000)Much ascribed to men’s inability to talk about their lonelinessIf you know somebody who is rock-bottom and there is any thought they might want to end their life, ask them if they’re considering suicide. Asking the question can ONLY help. It will never give somebody an idea of taking that action. Don’t put it off. Who’d want to be too late? Want to talk more? Contact Alan Colley via Facebook or email (alan.colley@thec3.uk).
THREE key points from Josh's sermon:
1 - Keep an open heart (in terms of the impact of others' friendship with you and yours to them)
2 - Stay humble (nobody wants a know-it-all, arrogant, proud mate)
3 - Don’t be a coward (have those difficult conversations even if they risk the relationship)

Secular groups that are aimed to help with loneliness and men's mental health:
Men’s sheds https://menssheds.org.uk (a few around Cambridge)Andy’s Man Club https://andysmanclub.co.uk (Cambridge AMC led by one of our Ascend brothers)ASCEND CAMP 24 - 7/8th June, Thetford ForestBy the time you see this, we might be out of spaces. Check Brushfire for the latest.
Camp 23 bloke: "It just keeps on getting better. An amazing experience and fun to see it grow."FOR UPCOMING ASCEND EVENTS sign up here.
To subscribe to our weekly inspiring emails, please complete the form here.
WHAT IS ASCEND MEN?Imagine a community of men who are challenged, inspired and equipped to live passionate lives for Jesus. A place where men-care-for-men through a small number of honest personal relationships initiated and supported by regular male-oriented events. Relationships are built shoulder-to-shoulder doing stuff in preference to eye-balling each other!
Ascend Men is that community.
Our podcasts reflect that desire to challenge, inspire and equip our men. Some are light-hearted easy-listens. Some deserve to be digested and pondered. If you love them, tell us - we could do with the encouragement. If you can see ways they could be improved, tell us - feedback is a gift.
Join our Facebook group or email us (ascend@thec3.uk) to hear more about our fantastic breakfasts in Cambridge, Bury and Colchester as well as our Camp in June.

In this new season we're going to cover healthy friendships, singleness, dating, marriage and even life after a relationship, i.e. being single again. Whatever your interest, you'll know others at different stages so come back every week for a deep-dive into each area.
A huge thanks to Annabel Wheeldon-Clarke of Engage for helping me put this season together.
Today we're doing an overview i.e. what it means to have “Healthy Relationships” with Annabel and Nathan Blackaby of Christian Vision for Men.
The Relationships Venn diagram explained by Annabel is at the bottom of this page.
Check out the book: "7 Reasons Your Church Needs More Men: How to lead a gender balanced church supporting healthy singleness, dating, marriage and youth"
Annabel refers to the work on Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. See more at Cloud-Townsend Resources.
Curious after the conversation on Love Languages? There's plenty of info on the Interweb but here's a good start point (including a quick quiz).
ASCEND CAMP 24 - 7/8th June, Thetford ForestBy the time you see this, we might be out of spaces. Check Brushfire for the latest.
Camp 23 bloke: "It just keeps on getting better. An amazing experience and fun to see it grow."FOR UPCOMING ASCEND EVENTS sign up here.
To subscribe to our weekly inspiring emails, please complete the form here.
WHAT IS ASCEND MEN?Imagine a community of men who are challenged, inspired and equipped to live passionate lives for Jesus. A place where men-care-for-men through a small number of honest personal relationships initiated and supported by regular male-oriented events. Relationships are built shoulder-to-shoulder doing stuff in preference to eye-balling each other!
Ascend Men is that community.
Our podcasts reflect that desire to challenge, inspire and equip our men. Some are light-hearted easy-listens. Some deserve to be digested and pondered. If you love them, tell us - we could do with the encouragement. If you can see ways they could be improved, tell us - feedback is a gift.
Join our Facebook group or email us (ascend@thec3.uk) to hear more about our fantastic breakfasts in Cambridge, Bury and Colchester as well as our Camp in June.

Three weeks ago (S11/Ep2) we heard from Martin Frost - a serial entrepreneur who has achieved so much in his four decades of business. Today we’re talking with two guys who are much earlier in their careers, getting things off the ground and building reputations.

To quote Martin Frost in that podcast, he predicted that CMR will give birth to people who will go and do something else, very special. Today we are joined by Ric da Silva who is one of those people having spent nearly 6 years at CMR. He’s now the co-founder and CTO for Flok Health - an entirely new business doing something very special.

Our second guest has demonstrated his passion for music and recording for a long time. At school he recorded year 11 GCSE music for all the solo/ensemble musicians. At sixth Form he conducted live recordings of the college Jazz and Concert Bands. And at the University of Hertfordshire, whilst gaining a First Class Honours degree in Music Technology he recorded for bands and artists in the University studio. Let's hear what a Mastering Engineer does by talking with Chris Pavey.

How do they measure success and what one thing that, if they had it in total abundance, would guarantee success?Hear about how Chris and Ric have dealt with Imposter Syndrome.They have a lot resting on their shoulders, how do they look after themselves physically and mentally?Dealing with rejection?Chris talks enthusiastically about "C3 at Work" so if you want to know more, please get in touch with Rob Allin or here on Churchsuite.
Application from this week's episode?
Ric recommends a book: "Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffins Path to God" by Brennan Manning available at Amazon, Eden and other good booksellers.
In his sequel to The Ragamuffin Gospel bestselling author Brennan Manning shows how true and radical trust in God can transform our lives. Manning, beloved author and spiritual teacher, shows us how trust in God can transform our lives and open us up to deeper experiences of grace and love. In Ruthless Trust, he turns his focus from furious love to radical trust, revealing the ways in which trust renews our faith and help us grow.Chris suggests a THE BUSINESS OF AUTHORITY podcast which says
how you feel about your to-do list is a leading indicator of what you’ll actually accomplishIn preparing to close this episode, I felt God wanted me to wish you both “Godspeed”, which is an interesting word.
There's a great article on the origins of it here.To summarise, it’s a very old Middle English word dating back to the 1300s.
God translates to God.
Speed translates to speid which has nothing to do with movement - it  translates:
successprosperitygood fortuneprofitadvancementfurtheranceI’m sure we'd all want God to grant you those things.
FOR UPCOMING ASCEND EVENTS sign up here.
To subscribe to our weekly inspiring emails, please complete the form here.
WHAT IS ASCEND MEN?Imagine a community of men who are challenged, inspired and equipped to live passionate lives for Jesus. A place where men-care-for-men through a small number of honest personal relationships initiated and supported by regular male-oriented events. Relationships are built shoulder-to-shoulder doing stuff in preference to eye-balling each other!
Ascend Men is that community.
Our podcasts reflect that desire to challenge, inspire and equip our men. Some are light-hearted easy-listens. Some deserve to be digested and pondered. If you love them, tell us - we could do with the encouragement. If you can see ways they could be improved, tell us - feedback is a gift.
Join our Facebook group or email us (ascend@thec3.uk) to hear more about our fantastic breakfasts in Cambridge, Bury and Colchester as well as our Camp in June.

Sara-Louise Martin (or S-L as she likes to be called) hails from Belfast. Keen to escape Northern Ireland she left to study International Business and Languages at Heriot-Watt University in Scotland before going to work in France, New York and then settling in London for most of the last 16 years.
In March 2020 she co-founded Impact Central (an accelerator programme focused on Impact entrepreneurs) and in Sep 2022 joined Faith Driven Entrepreneur where she's now the Regional Director for operations in Europe, Middle East and North Africa.

In this episode S-L talks about;
Being sure our identity in Christ helps us take risks and not see our experiences as failures.Being stewards but not owners of all we have.Not being so caught-up in our jobs that we tip into worshipHow excellence matters.That while we “impress people with our strengths, we connect through our vulnerability.” More information on the Wonderful Summit 24 London can be found here.And if you want the free place (normally £49) and standard class rail travel from Cambridge (or an equivalently-priced station) be the FIRST to contact me Alan Colley.
To read The Saving and Keeping Power – the Testimony of Inspector Brian Martin (1955-1983) (S-L's father) visit here.
FOR UPCOMING ASCEND EVENTS sign up here.
To subscribe to our weekly inspiring emails, please complete the form here.
WHAT IS ASCEND MEN?Imagine a community of men who are challenged, inspired and equipped to live passionate lives for Jesus. A place where men-care-for-men through a small number of honest personal relationships initiated and supported by regular male-oriented events. Relationships are built shoulder-to-shoulder doing stuff in preference to eye-balling each other!
Ascend Men is that community.
Our podcasts reflect that desire to challenge, inspire and equip our men. Some are light-hearted easy-listens. Some deserve to be digested and pondered. If you love them, tell us - we could do with the encouragement. If you can see ways they could be improved, tell us - feedback is a gift.
Join our Facebook group or email us (ascend@thec3.uk) to hear more about our fantastic breakfasts in Cambridge, Bury and Colchester as well as our Camp in June.