Beyond Conception Desmond & Shalmeka Sweet

In this final episode of the season, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the difference between happiness and joy while challenging you and your spouse to seek joy along this journey.

Couples will move mountains to have a child. We go through rounds of treatments, medications, procedures, pregnancy test, agencies and don’t forget the money to build our family. When our plans crumble and we’ve done everything we can we’re left with feelings of failure. Feeling like a failure is normal and consuming along this journey. How do we manage the feeling of failure? In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka flip the script on failure as Shalmeka discusses how she copes with failure along this journey. This episode encourages couples to know you’re not a failure. You have the power within you to overcome the feeling of failure. You can and will get through infertility with God’s help. Scriptures to meditate on: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭CEV‬‬

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”
Philippians‬ ‭4:6-9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭121:1-2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Pregnancy is one of the most wonderful experiences for a couples. Pregnancy can bring extreme emotional highs and devastating emotional lows. Miscarriage is one of the low experiences of pregnancy. No one assumes they will have a miscarriage until it happens to them. In fact, 1 in 4 pregnancies will end miscarriage. March is Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month. There is hope in the name. Pregnancy can occur after loss. Your Rainbow Baby (a healthy baby born after a loss) is possible after the storm of miscarriage. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka share their experience of dealing with multiple miscarriages and now the parents of their rainbow baby. Check out the Pregnancy After Loss Support website as mentioned in this episode https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/get-involved/pal-awareness-month/ Not mentioned in this episode but making international news, New Zealand approves paid leave after miscarriage https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/25/world/asia/new-zealand-miscarriage-paid-leave.html Support Groups: Pregnancy After Loss Support (see above website) IG:@pregnancyafterlosssupport Hannah’s Daughters IG @hannahsdaughters Sisters in Loss IG: @sistersinloss

This week we pass the mic to our IG friends the Wilson’s! We’ve never met in person but we get each other concerning this infertility stuff. Charles and Bianca Wilson share their journey to baby after a diagnosis of PCOS, unicornuate uterus, and endometriosis. Endometriosis impacts 1 out of 10 women. For 10 years Bianca sought medical treatment for her painful and heavy periods before she was diagnosed with Stage II Endometriosis. In this episode, Bianca unpacks her endometriosis symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. In the words of Bianca “stop telling girls it’s normal to have painful and heavy periods.” Charles and Bianca discussed how they navigated through their infertility journey with multiple surgeries to her uterus and organs, timed sex, trigger shots, negative pregnancy test, frustration, and physical, mental and emotional pain. Through it all, they were able to love and support each other and share their story to encourage other couples “God always has the final say” when all of the odds are stacked against you. 

As you know, we’re still living in a COVID-19 world, so our conversation was held virtually.  Please lean in and turn up your volume to hear segments of the conversation because the internet wouldn’t let us be great. 



March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. For more information on endometriosis check out this article from WebMD and as always, contact your medical provider if your feel you might be suffering with complications of endometriosis. https://www.webmd.com/women/endometriosis/endometriosis-causes-symptoms-treatment 



You can also follow The Wilson’s journey on IG: @biancadanielle__ or Chuck & B Vlogs on YouTube.

What about your man? Ladies, we gotta check on our men. Contrary to popular belief, infertility is not a female issue. Men also experience the hardships of infertility whether they have male infertility diagnosis or not. We forget men have feelings too and need support throughout this journey. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the importance of supporting men through infertility. Desmond also provides some advice to wives on what your husband might want and need along this journey.

Should we just wait for a miracle, or seek help? Many couples opt out of fertility treatment for various reasons. In this episode, Desmond and Shalmeka discuss the many reasons why a couple might decide not to start or continue with fertility treatment. Health reasons might be a deciding factor for a couple to discontinue fertility treatment. This factor was in the episode notes but was forgotten in our discussion. Whatever reason a couple decides to opt out of fertility treatment is their choice and should be respected by medical providers, family, and friends. Articles mentioned in this episode: 11 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself If You're Fertility Challenged
https://www.verywellfamily.com/fertility-challenged-stop-doing-these-10-things-1960003 Why You May Decide Not to Pursue Fertility Treatment
Why People Stop Fertility Treatments and Arguments Against IVF
https://www.verywellfamily.com/choosing-not-to-pursue-fertility-treatment-1959894