Clouds, Rain, Aya Aya

hi ^^ no rain for now, only clouds.

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya attempts to catch up from her 3-month hiatus away from her podcast.  Honestly, it wasn't like a hiatus; instead, it's more like: (1) her not finding the time to squeeze in editing her raw recordings, (2) she cannot figure out the right timing and intentionally delaying her uploads because some are TMI which means too-much-information, and (3) she thinks it's inappropriate to publish her irrational thoughts as it may add fuel to the flames. This episode is also inspired by the famous combination of 'ketchup and fries'—only this time around, it's about Aya's unfiltered emotions, hence, catsup and cries. 2022 became the year of her traumas, overwhelming opportunities, and dreadful initiatives. Watch how Aya claims 2023 as the year where she takes a step further towards self-growth: improving her mindset more, not constantly 'perfecting' her progress and instead save a room for mistakes, and last but not the least, maintaining consistency in an unpredictable world.

Happy New Year!

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya proceeds to flip another page from Chapter 18 to Chapter 19. Over the past year of being a pre-adult, she discovers a game-changer about life: adulting doesn't actually begin at 18th, it begins at 20th. With this, she starts her journey towards the "ghost age"—a commonly-used term for when you're not a minor anymore but you're not really an adult either. Watch how Aya introduces her new and improved mindset about BIRTHDAYS + character development from her 18 years of existence.

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya uploads a long overdue episode about her regrets as a daughter, as a student, and ultimately—as a human. We all go through regrets, right? It just so happens that Aya undergoes a path that she did NOT expect to pursue. Something that she didn't plan and instead threatened her consistent and comfortable routine towards life as a 'normal' college student.  Watch how Aya narrates her life of regrets from her early childhood up until the chaos of today. 

[1 year special] Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya celebrates her 1st anniversary alongside her podcasting journey. Despite having too many lows and only a few ups, she managed to finish her 1st year of college as well as keeping herself sane for a whole year of a challenging life. This started with a concept of self-verbalizations in mind, but this podcast soon came to be the best thing that ever happened to Aya yet. Talking with herself alone in the bathroom might seem a bit weird and crazy, however those were one of THE moments where she felt true to herself regardless of vulnerability and overwhelming anxiety. 
A year ago Aya trembled with full of uhms, nervous laughter, and broken english, whereas to now where she could speak her mind, whatever and however she wants. This is for sure, an achievement that no one can possibly give. 

I'm proud of me. :> 

[Listen at your own risk...] Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, things get a little personal between Aya and her anxiety. Throughout her personal hardships and for the last 3 months, she recorded raw audios of her and her emotions. Trigger warning for those who are not comfortable with someone crying or someone ranting about his/her problems that may inflict bad memories. As this episode progresses, you can tell how Aya went from shambles to enlightenment to shambles again, and vice versa. Let's be very honest here, growth is never linear, sometimes it's ups, sometimes it's downs, and even worse..... if it's both up and down. Aya named this episode a "venting-machine" because she felt like all these rants, challenges, and mental breakdowns were all cooped up like Pepsi-cans inside her mind, and each time she vents out and lets off some steam, she also dispenses a part of her psyche.



Hemlo, it's me, Aya. A gentle reminder that this podcast is my safe space, it took me a lot of strength and bravery to upload an episode like this. However, I wouldn't want to keep it to myself alone, because maybe.... someday someone would need my words.