Deliver Us Some Evil Deliver Us Some Evil

Chris-Chan is back! Don't worry though, it's not a super complicated episode. In fact, just about any sea monkey in a hollow stump could sit in a pleather gaming chair and rant and rave for about an hour about an autistic man getting his nut up to save his fictional girlfriend, THC, Tide pods, 13-year-old internet terrorists, old lady sex traffickers, and of course a double date with your father! This just proves that Mel loves testing her boundaries and like our eponymous hero Chris-Chan, she's coming out of her shell, proving this is truly...The Hermit Crab Saga!

In this episode Eli and Mel delve into the secret world of The Order of the Pug! Yes that's right, those weird anti-establishment 18th century hippies who thought humanity was nothing but feral dogs and they were civilizing the world, one feral beast at a time. You'll also get a brief history of esoteric pug statuettes, silver medallions, and portraits of people making weird faces while giving the finger to your divine right. Intrigued? Then get on your knees! Don't you dare knock on the door of hidden secrets like a man. Paw at it like a pug! And do what the Grand Pug commands and...Kiss the Chocolate Star!

The end is nigh! With the approach of the total eclipse of the sun, Eli is here to guide you on a tour of four massive esoteric theories detailing when, where, and why the Biblical Apocalypse might have a date with destiny right in our own backyard. Is he off his rocker? Is he smoking some really good stuff? Before you pick up the phone and call out because what's the point, let the DUSE connect the dots between WWI, WWII, 912, CERN, the Messiah, the Antichrist, and... Apocalypse Cow!

The DUSE brings you the fourth installment of the Adventures of Guy Ballard! No matter your religious background, we can all agree that it's never a good idea to mix mythological ancient cities, aliens digging up gold, old men figuring out how eyesight works, an interdimensional God King who might be planning mass assassinations, kung fu cats, and good old patriotism. But if you want to take your chances with the magical bundt cake, the I Am Activity Movement may be the perfect cult for you! Just make sure you bring all of your money to a previously undisclosed location and then it's... All Aboard for Atlantis!

This Easter, Eli and Mel talk about a ghoul of a man who by all accounts lived the American Dream. He had an ugly wife nobody else wanted to bang, three snot-nosed kids that didn't like him, a job that afforded him nothing but headaches, and eventually a divorce that would set him on the path to the destruction of his family one explosive Easter afternoon. Dennis DePue soon rose to television infamy as Robert Stack pulled on his pocketless trench coat to talk about this infamous crime. Hours after the last commercial break, DePue found himself in a high-speed pursuit across state lines that ended in a shoot out, proving that it doesn't matter how old a man is, he can start over at any age -- just so long as it starts with a bang on...A Ghoulish Easter!

In this episode Eli and Mel tackle one of the biggest stories to hit the headlines: the cannibal warlord taking over Haiti, a man who calls himself "Barbecue" not because he loves cold beer and cooking burgers poolside. So listen up as Eli exposes the neo-liberal left's take on "revolutionaries" and how they're oddly comfortable with cannibalism, even making the argument that "People are cleaner than pork..." What an odd hill to chose to die on! But don't worry, there's more here than just cannibalism. If you listen closely, you might hear all about the political and social troubles Haiti has been dealing with for the last decade, what with the Clinton Foundation embezzling funds, empowering and supplying a corrupt cop known for burning people alive, and giving him everything he needs to make his lip-smacking human thigh bone recipe when he's not busy taking over street gang after street gang and amassing an army of similar culinary enthusiasts, proving that when you go to Haiti and check the grill....That's Not Chicken!