FAMILY MATTERS, Week 2 - How do we communicate and forgive‪?‬ Bloom Church Podcast

'If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NLT
 
If you want to change the culture in your home, you have to change the way you communicate.
 
For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. Matthew 12:34 NLT
 
'The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21 NLT
 
Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. James 3:2 NLT
 
3 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT OUR WORDS/TONGUES
 
1. THE TONGUE IS SMALL BUT POWERFUL
 
'We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches….
James 3:3-5 NLT
 
2.  THE TONGUE IS DIRECTIONAL
 
And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. James 3:4 NLT
 
3. THE TONGUE HAS A QUICK IMPACT
 
'In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5 NLT
 
HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE IN A HEALTHY WAY?
 
STOP BEFORE YOU SPEAK  
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT
 
A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. Proverbs 17:27-28 NLT
 
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK  
T – is it True?
H – is it Helpful?
I – is it Inspiring?
N – is it Necessary?
K – is it Kind?
 
PRAY BEFORE YOU SPEAK  
Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips. Psalms 141:3 NLT
 
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 NLT
 
'Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24 NLT
 
FORGIVENESS IS NOT…
 
MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED
 
SOMETHING THE OTHER PERSON EARNS OR DESERVES
 
FORGETTING OR AVOIDING
 
INSTANT RESTORATION OF TRUST.
 
FORGIVENESS is the conscious choice to give up your right to make the other person pay because you trust God to make things right.
 
 
HOW DOES FORGIVENESS WORK IN A GODLY WAY?
 
1. We recognize forgiveness is a conviction, not a circumstance.
 
So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Luke 17:3-4 NLT
 
2. We understand why forgiveness is so difficult.
 
REQUIRES EMOTIONAL ENERGY
 
REQUIRES UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS AND RISKY OUTCOMES
 
IT FEELS UNNATURAL
 
TAKES AWAY PERCEPTION OF CONTROL
 
3. WE FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT WE CAN CONTROL
 
'Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NLT
 
SO WHAT CAN I CONTROL?
 
1. PRAY FOR GODS HELP
 
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view…. 2 Corinthians 5:16 NLT
 
2. PRAY FOR THEM
 
You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!  Matthew 5:43-44 NLT
 
3. DO THE OPPOSITE
 
Never pay