Goodness goodness.love

Dear Goodness



I’ve been thinking about my ex from 2 years ago a lot since my recent break up and we’ve been texting (just friendly stuff) a bit...why am I thinking about him so much? Am I just comparing past relationships? Do I actually have feelings for him? Am I just looking to talk to someone “comfortable”? What’s going on!?



Signed, Looking Back

Hi Goodness,


I have a friend, J, who has placed himself in the middle of a telenovela during 2018. He ended a 10 yr relationship with his girlfriend, M and is now pursuing a new Love with L. He and M had been trying to have a baby when they were together and now that they’re apart still want to continue this IVF process. He hadn’t told L this was his plan of having a child with an ex girlfriend and also make a new life with her. Fast forward to two months and now M is pregnant, L is somewhat in the picture and J is excited to become a father yet couldn’t be in the same room with his family bc he’s afraid of being judged for his decisions. I’ve tried to be a friend and listen. It seems like such a mangled chosen mess that sometimes I don’t know how to help. Thanks!


Friend of Complicated J

Hi Goodness,

I have a friend who I used to spend a lot of time with in college. We lived together for a year. She was wild, outgoing, and fun to be around, but always had a tendency to lie or embellish. I mostly looked past this at the time because it seemed she always exaggerated for the sake of a dramatic story or for sympathy, nothing too major. It irked me, but we didn’t have much of an emotional relationship. We were more like good drinking buddies. Our relationship was founded and maintained while drinking.

That was 10 years ago. Since then we’ve moved to different cities and grown in different directions. Whenever we happen to be in the same city we meet up for dinner and each time this happens I dread it more and enjoy it less. I don’t feel like we have much in common any longer. I feel that I’ve changed so much in the past 10 years, professionally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I don’t really want to get wasted, reminisce and act like we’re 19 again when we get tog

Hi Goodness,

I have a friend with a really short temper and anger issues. It makes it impossible to confront them and have meaningful conversations when issues arise, and they arise often. Do you have any advice on how to approach someone like that? I'm afraid we're getting into toxic friendship territory and if their behavior continues I might have no choice but to end the friendship.

Thanks!!
G

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This week's question:

I like to think of myself as being very moral, but I have done things I am ashamed of. How do I reconcile my identity of being a good person with my past mistakes?

S

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This week's letter comes from Reconciling Two Worlds, who is trying to balance honoring her values against an industry that rewards amoral behavior.

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