How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships TruStory FM

Content warning: This episode discusses domestic abuse, murder-suicide, and child loss.
In this deeply moving episode, Seth and Pete welcome a special guest, Ali Kessler, to share her story and discuss the groundbreaking Greyson's Law. This episode was requested by a listener who wanted to hear directly from Ali about her experiences and advocacy.
Ali's four-year-old son, Greyson, was tragically killed by his father in a murder-suicide just days after Ali sought help from the courts and police due to disturbing threats made by Greyson's father. Ali has turned her grief into powerful advocacy, working tirelessly to pass Greyson's Law in Florida to better protect children at risk of harm in divorce and custody cases.
Seth, Pete, and Ali dive into the details of Greyson's Law, discussing how it aims to address the gap between the realities of domestic abuse and the family court system. They cover the challenges Ali faced in trying to protect Greyson prior to his death, and how the new law empowers judges to better consider threats and abuse directed at a parent when making custody decisions.
The conversation also delves into the complexities around identifying abuse, especially coercive control, which leaves no physical scars. Ali shares her hopes for expanded training for judges, lawyers, and law enforcement to improve understanding of domestic violence and how it impacts at-risk children.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How does Greyson's Law aim to better protect children in family court cases?What challenges do abuse survivors face in the court system?How can coercive control be identified if it leaves no physical signs?Key Takeaways:
Greyson's Law requires Florida courts to consider threats against a parent when making custody decisions if there is reason to believe the child is also at risk.Survivors of abuse often struggle to be heard and believed in family court.Expanded training on domestic violence and coercive control is needed for judges, attorneys, and police.While Greyson's Law is specific to Florida, Ali is working with advocates in other states to help change laws and potentially enact protections at the federal level.This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to understand the real-life impacts of domestic violence in family court and how legal reform, however hard-won, aims to protect the most vulnerable. Though Ali's story is heartbreaking, her courage and tenacity in honoring Greyson's legacy through advocacy is deeply inspiring.
We encourage listeners to visit Ali's website, Greyson’s Choice, to learn more about her organization's vital work and consider donating to support their mission to protect children at risk in divorce and custody cases.
Links & Notes
Visit Greyson’s Choice and donate today!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:06) - Ali Kessler and Greyson’s Law
(03:30) - Who Was Greyson?
(04:48) - Becoming an Advocate
(06:19) - Getting the Law Off the Ground
(11:06) - Reality vs. the Legal System
(13:13) - Civil Matter, Not a Criminal Matter
(13:52) - Emergency Pickup Orders
(15:30) - Calling DCF
(17:49) - Goal of Greyson’s Law
(19:58) - Managing Grief as a Different Person
(20:48) - Continued Training
(22:06) - Coercive Control
(24:22) - Judges
(25:03) - Custody Rights
(25:35) - Effectiveness
(26:12) - Informing Judges
(27:09) - Making People Aware
(27:55) - Greyson’s Choice
(29:50) - Wrap Up

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In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the world of prenuptial agreements with legendary Florida attorney Charles Jamison. They explore how prenups can help keep your divorce amicable and costs down. Charles shares his expertise on crafting the "unbreakable prenup" and provides valuable insights into navigating this complex legal territory.
Seth, Pete, and Charles discuss the essential components of a well-drafted prenup, including proper signing procedures, full financial disclosure, and fair negotiation. They emphasize how a carefully constructed agreement can protect both parties and minimize conflicts during a divorce. The conversation also touches on postnuptial agreements and how they can help alleviate financial stressors in a marriage.
Questions we answer in this episode:• What makes a prenup "unbreakable"?• How can a prenup help keep divorce costs down?• When should you consider a postnuptial agreement?
Key Takeaways:• Ensure your prenup is properly signed and witnessed• Provide full financial disclosure to protect both parties• Negotiate fairly to create a more unassailable agreement
Throughout the episode, Seth and Charles offer practical advice and relatable examples to help listeners understand the importance of prenups in modern marriages. Whether you're considering a prenup or facing a divorce, this episode provides valuable information to help you navigate the process with greater clarity and confidence.
Links & Notes
Charles on the WebCharles on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and FacebookSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Charles Jamieson
(01:14) - Pre-Nuptial Agreements
(02:36) - The UPAA
(05:13) - Dos and Don’ts
(09:41) - Bifurcating the Trial
(10:56) - Coercion or Duress
(13:35) - Full Disclosure
(19:47) - Protecting Yourself
(20:49) - Post-Nups
(22:44) - Has It Changed Over Time?
(23:50) - Difficult Negotiation
(25:56) - Valuing
(29:32) - Alimony
(33:37) - Minimum $ Before Needing One?
(35:54) - Finding Charles
(36:26) - Wrap Up

In this listener question episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright tackle some of the most pressing issues faced by those navigating the complexities of divorce. From the potential pitfalls of divorce coaching to the challenges of running a business with your ex-spouse, Seth and Pete provide insightful guidance and practical advice to help you navigate your unique situation.
Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete delve into a wide range of topics, discussing the importance of seeking mental health support during a high-conflict divorce, the nuances of maintaining a business partnership with an ex-spouse, and the factors that can influence custody arrangements. By addressing these key themes, Seth and Pete aim to equip listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to make informed decisions and protect their interests during the divorce process.
Listener Questions we answer in this episode:
Is divorce coaching a good idea in a high-conflict case?How can couples separate their marriage but keep their business together?Can the age of a child alone justify changes in custody arrangements?What can you do if your ex refuses to accept a fair settlement offer?What are some less obvious things to include in a parenting plan?Key Takeaways:
In a high-conflict divorce, it's best to avoid divorce coaching and opt for confidential mental health counseling instead.When maintaining a business with an ex-spouse, a solid partnership agreement and transparency are essential.Age of the child alone is not typically considered a substantial change in circumstances warranting custody modifications.Whether you're considering divorce coaching, grappling with the challenges of running a business with your ex, or concerned about the impact of your child's age on custody arrangements, this episode of How to Split a Toaster offers a wealth of valuable insights. By tuning in, you'll gain a deeper understanding of the legal and emotional landscape of divorce, empowering you to make the best decisions for yourself and your family during this challenging time.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:27) - Listener Questions!
(01:08) - Question One: Divorce Coaching?
(05:14) - Question Two: Separating Marriage, Not the Business
(11:05) - Question Three: Child’s Age a Substantial Change for Child Custody?
(12:57) - Question Four: Weaponizing Emergency Motions
(18:00) - Question Five: Asset Division
(23:26) - Question Six: Parenting Plan Parts
(30:00) - Wrap Up

In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the crucial topic of preparing for a deposition in your divorce case. Seth, our seasoned divorce attorney, guides Pete through a mock deposition, providing invaluable insights and strategies to help you navigate this challenging process with confidence.
Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete engage in a lively and informative discussion, highlighting the importance of understanding the rules of a deposition and how to effectively respond to questions. Seth emphasizes the need to listen carefully, answer honestly, and provide concise responses while avoiding the temptation to over-explain or become defensive. He also shares real-life examples that demonstrate how seemingly simple questions can potentially trip you up if you're not properly prepared.
Questions we answer in this episode:• What are the key rules to follow during a deposition?• How can I prepare myself mentally for a deposition?• What are some common mistakes to avoid when being deposed?
Key Takeaways:• Listen carefully to each question and only answer what is asked• Keep your responses concise and honest• Trust your attorney to defend your case and tell your story
By the end of this episode, listeners will have a clearer understanding of what to expect during a deposition and how to approach this critical aspect of their divorce case. Seth's expertise and Pete's relatable perspective combine to create an engaging and informative listening experience that will leave you feeling more empowered and prepared to face the challenges ahead. Whether you're in the midst of a divorce or simply seeking to educate yourself, this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complex world of divorce law.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Preparing for Your Deposition
(02:39) - Rules of a Deposition
(03:47) - Time to Practice
(10:26) - Make Them Do Their Job
(11:24) - Don't Get Defensive
(19:21) - It’s Not Your Job
(19:58) - Question-Answer-Question-Answer
(21:49) - Only Answer What Was Asked
(23:19) - Watch Out for Exaggerated Language
(25:05) - Prep to Avoid Getting Flustered
(26:30) - Time Needed
(27:33) - Don't Guess
(30:21) - Love Should Be Apparent
(33:13) - Hearsay vs. Describing Something
(36:44) - Your Job Is to Answer the Question
(37:42) - Take Your Time
(39:09) - Use Your Child’s Name
(39:39) - Look at the Judge
(40:23) - Wrapping Up

Navigating Divorce While Parenting: How to Put Your Kids First
Seth and Pete sit down with Heather Brooke Quick, the founder and CEO of Florida Women's Law Group, to discuss how to become a better, stronger parent during and after divorce. Heather shares her expertise on helping clients navigate co-parenting challenges and putting their children's needs first.
Seth, Pete, and Heather dive into the importance of focusing on the big picture and remembering that co-parenting is a lifelong commitment. They discuss strategies for keeping animosity in check, even when dealing with contentious issues like finances. Heather emphasizes the value of taking the high road and modeling positive behavior for your children.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I shield my kids from the negative aspects of divorce?What's the best way to communicate with my ex about parenting issues?How much should I share with my kids about the divorce process?Key Takeaways:
Always prioritize your children's well-being over conflicts with your exBe mindful of your reactions and behavior, as your children will learn from your exampleConsider therapy or counseling to help your children process their emotions during divorceThe conversation also touches on the importance balance of maintaining transparency with your children about age-appropriate aspects of the divorce, such as changes in finances or living arrangements. Seth, Pete, and Heather offer guidance on how to have these conversations without putting your children in the middle of adult issues.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of parenting during and after divorce. With Heather's expertise and Seth and Pete's relatable insights, you'll gain valuable tools for putting your children first and building a strong foundation for your post-divorce family.
Plus, we tackle a listener question – with Heather! – about when to file for divorce when pregnant.
Links & Notes
Find Heather on the web, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeTune in to Heather’s podcast Women Winning DivorceSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Heather Quick
(01:28) - Becoming a Better Parent During Divorce
(02:00) - Your Role in the Discussion
(04:40) - Reminding People to Love Their Kids
(07:29) - Men vs. Women in Divorce
(10:05) - Financial Conversations
(12:39) - Divorce Transparency?
(16:52) - The Line of Role Modelling
(17:46) - Sunshine Law
(18:40) - Resources for Kids
(21:32) - Parenting During Parallel Parenting
(24:15) - Behavior as Divorcing People
(26:26) - End Result
(30:11) - It's Not Their Fault
(31:55) - Knowing When to Step Back
(33:19) - Finding Heather
(34:43) - Listener Question
(39:21) - Wrap Up

Apologies and Relationships: How to Say Sorry and Mean It
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the art of apologizing effectively with special guest Susan McCarthy, co-author of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies. Together, they explore the anatomy of a sincere apology, discuss common pitfalls, and share insights on how mastering the apology can improve your relationships, especially during a divorce – and we’re not just talking about with your spouse or ex but your kids as well!
Susan, a renowned author who has written about animal behavior and humor, brings her expertise on crafting effective apologies to the conversation. Seth and Pete engage her in a thought-provoking discussion on why people struggle with apologizing, the importance of teaching children how to apologize correctly, and how a well-executed apology can make a significant difference in the divorce process.
Questions we answer in this episode:
What are the key components of a sincere apology?How can a genuine apology impact divorce proceedings?Why is it crucial to teach children the art of apologizing?Key Takeaways:
A proper apology consists of six essential steps, including expressing remorse, acknowledging the specific wrongdoing, and demonstrating an understanding of the impact.Apologies can be powerful tools in mediation and can help couples reach agreements during a divorce.Mastering the art of apologizing can lead to healthier relationships and emotional well-being.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and strengthen their relationships. Whether you're going through a divorce or simply want to learn how to apologize effectively, Seth, Pete, and Susan provide practical advice and real-life examples to help you navigate the complexities of saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it.
Links & Notes
SorryWatch.comGet Susan’s and Marjorie’s Book in hardback or paperbackSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Susan McCarthy
(03:07) - Analyzing Apologies
(03:30) - The 'Saving Your Pride' Problem
(04:04) - Apologies in the Divorce Process
(05:26) - Divorce and Apology Backstory
(08:42) - Six Parts of a Good Apology
(11:10) - Between Spouses
(12:45) - In Mediation
(14:19) - Not Making It Worse
(16:41) - Getting Past Grudges
(21:55) - Dissecting Apologies
(24:27) - The Media Matters
(27:03) - Positive Example
(29:25) - Receiving an Apology
(30:23) - Sorry Not Sorry
(30:45) - Changes to Apologies in Modern Culture
(33:29) - Apologies to Your Kids
(37:30) - Over-Apologizing?
(39:37) - Apologies with Gifts?
(41:01) - Practicing
(44:18) - Susan’s Book
(45:46) - Wrap Up