Late Nite Take Out Daniel

This one goes out to all the fathers out there. I know it's not easy, I've seen my dad struggle with the best of them. I wasn't always appreciative as I should be to my dad, but as time goes on I realize how much he sacrificed. It took time, but I realized sometimes showing appreciation comes in the form of just growing up and trying to shoulder the same burden our dads did. That journey of self-growth, becomes the catalyst to the only on-going relationship some of us will have with our dads.

I never had a great relationship with my dad. He provided for me, I never went hungry or cold, and he told me stories. But talking with him wasn't a normal thing by any means. The relationship I have with my dad is non-verbal, and the ways in which I grow to be like him are from the non-verbal parts of myself that not only learned from him but came from him.

Whether gift or a curse, fathers hold a major part in our lives, something I intend to continue to set further out on my life to understand.

In this episode, I reach out to you as the son of two immigrant parents. They both lived through great hardship to immigrate here to America. If I could ask both of them right now what they thought, I imagined they would be surprised, but feel they shouldn't be, to hear the narrative that the "kung flu" virus is a result of immigration. I share the stories of their immigration in hopes to humanize their story.

Many immigrate in the hopes of a better opportunity at life, usually without many prospects left for them or their families at home. I imagine many, like my parents, were confronted with racism after their immigration, only adding to the weight of the journey. In some ways, the recent attacks on Asian Americans aren't new. The same hate, a different day. In this episode, I recount about times my family faced opposition they could not understand in contrast with their want for a better life. Often, they would try to turn the other cheek.

The rise in violent attacks on Asian Americans reflects a very real fear. The fear of helplessness, the same feeling many victims of racism feel. In these times, we must remember to speak out and that just being happy to be here is not enough. Love yours, watch over them, and stay safe y'all.

This episode covers how the symptoms of CPTSD have affected me over the years. For much of my life, I have gone un-diagnosed, many of the symptoms of CPTSD can fly by under your radar. I hope to share my journey in a way that can helpfully inform or relate to the struggles many of us go through with our emotions and anxieties. Many of the symptoms of CPTSD align with the everyday struggles of life.
After much deliberation, I found a therapist and began analyzing and making sense of some of my traumas throughout my life. It can be surprising to learn how interconnected our memories, experiences and emotions are. The process of healing can be a daunting one, but worthwhile in its returns. I share my steps through therapy to help destigmatize the help we need sometimes. Therapy can be a powerful tool to self-discovery and healing, with the will to use it.
Peace, and much love to everyone out there, especially now. Each other and the feelings we share is all we can hold onto sometimes.

An intro to a mini-series I’ll be doing on CPTSD, and what it’s like to live with it. During a time where many are struggling with depression/anxiety, I hope this series connects and nourishes in contrast to those feelings. I hope to slow things down and ponder on these thoughts.