My Narcissist Lover & Sneaky Link We Gone Need Some More Jack

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years & 5 months today. In the beginning of our relationship we were “goals” , the “perfect couple”. People would literally stop us and tell us how cute we were! We were so happy, we hated to be apart, we had sex all the time, all day... to be exact LMAO. Just happy . Like beginning of relationships are. Down the line, I caught her cheating.. I cheated back & my “bestfriend” snitched me out.. that’s when our relationship fell apart. To get over me hurting her she wanted to bring another girl into our relationship which was the girl who snitched me out. B I was with it cause you know I wanted to do anything to keep her in my life..Later learned she did it to hurt me back.. fast forward a few months ago the same girl was living with her granny after we broke up with her.. she called me and said they were still having sex.. blah blah blah so I ended it there... went out and started fucking with this dude.. he was showing me all the attention I wanted, cuddling me, just the simple shit talking & smoking blunts and stuff.. stuff I wasn’t getting from her. I finally felt free and happy!... during this time I wasn’t really talking to her.. I mean I was but I wasn’t.... she guilt tripped me into getting back with her where I am now.. we don’t have sex, we haven’t in months. We don’t cuddle, we don’t hold hands, no affection whatsoever. But it’s like everytime I try to leave her she literally makes me feel so bad.... I have deep feelings for the dude I was messing with.. but we will never be together .. he likes having hoes, being out in the streets.. and I’m stuck.. stuck in a relationship I’m not sure how to get out of.. I still have deep feelings for him.. like I’ll be sexually frustrated I won’t even ask her.. I want him . Everytime we f****d it got more intense...🥺 Like I would literally leave her to be with him.. I felt so free and so happy.... but we got our first home together, we have god kids together , we got animals together so It’s really hard I’m not happy but when I left her she said she was gonna hurt herself I love her a lot she’s a good person sometimes you just outgrow people and that’s okay🥺 Denzel you always have the right things to say.. help me 🥺

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