Paragon Marathon Sarah I

In a horror story, there are only victims and monsters. In a podcast about a video game about a horror story, there are only confused (but enthusiastic!) sibling hosts. Join Tom, Dan, and Sarah as the Marathon runs a long, spiralling loop-lap through Alan Wake 2 along with any and all connected universes. We like to call this next episode "The Story of the Journey of Alan Wake: THE MUSICAL!" But instead of talking, we'll SING IT! (We will also just talk about it.) True Crime fans, horor enthusiasts, and even you wretched gamers: Please join us for our most musical episode and least comprehensible discussion yet!

Contained within: amateur sing-alongs, Scandinavian self-inserts, author heroes, hero authors, anti-hero auteurs. Also Tom does a rap.

MOVIE NIGHT! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as the Marathon takes a lap around Luc Besson's sci-fantasy epic, "The Fifth Element", a classic tale of good vs evil, sentient hell planets vs perfect day-old babes, and/or capitalist greed vs noble hobbit priests. Everyone's favourite tank-top wearing action hero, Bruce Willis, teams up with humanity's sexiest hope for survival Milla Jovovich in a whirlwind cyberpunk adventure, all of which pales in comparison to the immaculate perfection of Chris Tucker's radio-sex-DJ. Can our heroes survive the hordes of campy rubber suit monster mercenaries? Is any of this tits-forward romp socially acceptable anymore? Listen to find out! Contained within: Colin Hanks Beta-types, 90s fantasy eugenics, and Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel ZORG.

Join us on a wild ride through the 2000 classic, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," (or in Tom's words "How the Cringe stole Milfmas") featuring Jim Carrey and directed by the mischievous Ron Howard.

Uncover the sticky and pear-shaped mysteries of Whos, as we reveal Ron Howard's 6-hour makeup torture on Jim Carrey. We argue that Carrey's Grinch, a furry fusion of the Mask and Ace Ventura, turns Dr. Seuss into a confusing mix of fudge, ass-closeups, and boomer humor—much to Sarah's dismay and the revelation of the true meaning of Cringemass.

Hold tight to your eggnog hats as we delve into Martha May Who's iconic furry awakening, adding a layer of bizarre brilliance to this holiday masterpiece.

Digressions include Scooby Doo's butthole, whoville mating ritual theories, and Batman Returns.

Hop in the way way back machine with Paragon Marathon! This week, we're tackling the oldest story civilization has, The Epic of Gilgamesh. Join us to learn of the ancient king, He who saw the deep, revel in the wisdom and the super-jacked, bro'd up wrestlemania he found along the way. Contained within these clay-fired podcast-tablets; mythical sex marathons, copious cubit conundrums, and the self-actualizing contentment that comes from accepting your inevitable demise.

Get ready for a frightening vore-ay into Tom, Dan and Sarah's deepest fears! (Please do not use them against us). This episode, we point our shaking flashlights at the mysteries of darkness and the unknown, slither into the world of snakes, and dish on the fear of being eaten, bone-in or chewed.

Join us as we uncover the origins of these fears, comparing the concept of horror vs terror with "Jaws" (1975) and "Deep Blue Sea" (1999), "Nope" (2022), and "The Monkey's Paw" by WW Jacobs (among a few other terrifying texts).

Listener beware: you're in for a scare(d trio of dorks).

Operation GOODBYE-HELLO-GOODBYE is a go: All Paragons report to Marathons.


Welcome to the Paragon Marathon Season 1 Finale and Retrospective! Join Tom, Dan & Sarah as they reflect on their time podcasting together over the past two years, and make plans to return to the world of Literature, Mythology and Pop Culture after a much-needed break.

Contained within: Mario noises, Canonical Shreks, and Dan's Dune Den.

Thank you for listening along with us!