The Evolving Man Podcast Ben Goresky

Jordan Gray is a relationship coach who has written hundreds of articles that have been read by over 250 million people worldwide. He has worked with tens of thousands of clients via his programs, groups, and 1-on-1 coaching. 

He joins me on this episode to talk about how to get the most out of life as the challenges land on our doorstep. We discuss:


Moving from bachelor to committed relationship
Marriage has actually been great
Dating takes a lot of energy!
Finding someone who’s also a giver
Each relationship is different, so relationship advice can’t be universal
Look for a counterpoint to where you and your partner tend to go too far, for example with too much or too little structure.
Fears of going into marriage: "what if things get worse and worse and I’m stuck?"
The practice of addressing troubles in the relationship rather than just enduring them.
Phases of life: dating and deeper relationships.
Thresholds of deepening into a relationship.
Preparing for parenthood.
The benefits of becoming a generalist, of getting off the computer and chopping wood.
City life vs. country life
Giving up financial opportunities for the sake of heart and happiness.
Relationship with money: between the poles of demonizing it and making it one’s god
The importance of choosing friends who support your objectives.
Solo therapy compared to group therapy.
In parenting, offering children both safety and adventurous risk.
How it can help children to see their parents work responsibly.
How being a parent can limit available work time, but make it more potent.
Screen addiction and parenthood.
Countering screen addiction with finding a deeper purpose.

 

Links:

Jordan Gray’s website

Productivity courseThe Level-Up Your Relationships Workshop
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Manesh Girn is a postdoctoral neuroscientist and popular science content creator specializing in the neuroscience of psychedelic drugs. He currently works at the University of California, San Francisco, alongside psychedelic research pioneer Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris, where he conducts research on the neural mechanisms underlying the psychedelic experience and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy.

In addition to his research, Manesh runs a popular digital platform on Instagram and YouTube called "The Psychedelic Scientist”, where he shares the latest findings in psychedelic science in a digestible and easy to understand way. 

In this episode, we discuss:


Manesh's journey from head to heart, from bypassing emotions to inhabiting them.
Emotion centred, body-focused therapy (beating pillows with weapons.)
How Manesh got his start in psychedelic research.
How an early psychedelic experience opened Manesh up to different takes on reality.
Finding the support to go beyond intellect.
The various healing/transformational modalities of:

breathwork
men’s groups
psychedelics
conscious relationship training


How different psychedelics affect our brains differently.
Neuroplasticity: how psychedelics can help change thought patterns.
Psychedelics for those with with trauma and depression.
The importance of support in psychedelic journeys
Setting down a belief that life is intrinsically unsafe.
Learning to recognize people and situations that are safe.
Integrating psychedelic experiences for lasting change.
The importance of intention before and after a psychedelic journey.
Psychedelics as an aid to innovation.
Psychedelics for people in positions of power.

Manesh’s Youtube

Manesh’s website

Manesh’s InstagramArka Brotherhood Men’s Community
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Groves, founder of Create The Love is a relationship expert, but he also believes in freedom of speech and thought, and is an advocate of personal sovereignty. During the recent pandemic, he began sharing what he was seeing in the people and institutions around him. His sharing on @itsmarkgroves and The Mark Groves Podcast was controversial, because any dissenting opinion at that time was censored and considered to be “unsafe”.I personally appreciated the discourse that Mark was bringing, as I lacked the courage to be as bold as he was, despite agreeing with many of his questions. On this episode of the podcast, I discuss the pandemic, the lockdowns, and the hysteria that took over our society at that time.

In this episode, we dive into:


The dangers of framing everything as a safety issue.


Dehumanizing people during the pandemic.
Data-based arguments about COVID-19 vaccines.
Mass formation psychosis.
Why PCR tests shouldn’t be used for diagnostic purposes.
Unconsciously believing that healthy people are biological threats. 
The wide scope of misinformation spread throughout the pandemic. 
The anxiety, fear, and hysteria spearheading pandemic behavior.
Family conflicts and getting “canceled” over COVID-19 dissent.
COVID-19 and masks as an ideology vs evidence-based.


Natural immunity is at least equal to vaccinated immunity.


The exploitation of psychology and weaponization of belonging.


Normalizing controlling people’s bodily autonomy.
Censoring people, governments spreading misinformation, and the lack of critical thinking during the pandemic.
Language is the first step to dehumanizing people in an out-group.
Violating informed consent when getting vaccinated.
How do we prevent divisiveness in the future?
Healing begins with the acceptance of reality (that the unvaccinated were marginalized and demonized while being left out of society and losing their jobs, while the vaccine that was promised to end the pandemic didn’t, and Omicron did)
Accountability without annihilation.
Learning to speak your truth despite the inconvenience.
Fighting for the freedom to disagree.

 

Links from this Episode



Part 1 of This Episode
Mark’s Website
Mark’s Instagram 
Masks
Immunity
Mass Formation Psychosis
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Groves is the founder of Create The Love, and host of the Mark Groves Podcast. Mark is on a mission to bridge the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection. His work empowers people to step into their power, transform the way they relate to themselves and others, and create authentic change in their lives. Mark and I sit down on the coast of Tofino, Canada for a special two-part episode.

In part 1, we talk about fatherhood and parenthood. 

In this episode, we discuss:


Fatherhood as a deeper window to look at where there is still work to be done on oneself.
After having a child, what is most important?
Old wounds and patterns that tend to arise during parenthood. 
How intimacy dynamics tend to shift after having a child.
The reasons why an uncomfortable number of couples divorce after the first year of a child’s life.
Nurturing your feminine energy as a man. 
Accessing discipline and discernment as a father.
Upholding the ethical obligation to be successful. 
Being purpose-driven as a man.
The paradox of choice.
The downsides to technology and access to mass communication.
Consciously choosing every aspect of your life.
Embracing a cultural initiation into manhood.
What is toxic masculinity and why does it exist?
Valuing mother and father roles in the family.
Inflated egos and immaturity.
What comes after ego dissolution?
The benefits of taking time off work to support your new family.
How fathers can support their own health after having a kid.
The importance of talking to other men after having a child.
The gift of being a parent and the gifts you receive from your child.
And a question for Mark: Now that you have a kid, is it worth it? Would you recommend it?

Links from this Episode:



Part 2 of This Episode (on C0.vid Hysteria) will come out in 2 weeks and links will be updated at that time.
Mark’s Website
Mark’s Instagram 
Mark’s Podcast 
Mark on YouTube
Conscious Relationship Council - a live 12-week relationship training for men
Arka Brotherhood - men's work.

Previous episodes with Mark:


Evolving Man Podcast - Holding Space with Mark Groves
Evolving Man Podcast - To Be A Man with Mark Groves
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Todd Youngs has been in continuous recovery from severe addiction and alcoholism since 2009. His personal path to recovery involved a combination of 12 step work, and his work with Ayahuasca. Todd now works intensively with others to help them achieve a life of satisfying and meaningful sobriety. His approach is eclectic and holistic drawing on the 12 Steps, CBT, MEI, and Mindfulness practice in order to deeply address the bio/psycho/social/spiritual aspects of addictive disorders.

Todd has worked extensively with Ayahuasca for over 14 years within a variety of communal and personalized settings. He is focussed on building bridges between the older treatment paradigm and newly emerging modalities that utilize Ayahuasca. He is the co-founder of Natura Care Programs.

Todd is often heard fondly referring to his own personal path of recovery as AAA+, or “Ayahuasca Assisted Alcoholics Anonymous:  A Roadside Service for broken-down, drug-addicted hippies”.

In this episode we dive into:


How humans explore drugs to satisfy creative and spiritual yearnings. 
The dark and light sides of psychedelics. 
Todd’s wild addiction recovery story.
Using pharmaceuticals to manage side effects of drug and alcohol use.
Connecting to something bigger than yourself through ayahuasca.
Todd’s journey of brewing his own ayahuasca in his mother’s basement.
How ayahuasca helped Todd through 12-step recovery.
The necessity of connection and accountability during recovery. 
Family members seeing a change in Todd & Ben after ayahuasca journeys. 
Healthy ways to incorporate the use of an altered state to transform your life.
Therapeutic opportunities when taking psychedelics.
Psychedelics vs therapy. 
Are psychedelics the right path for you?
Breaking down what the 12-week Natura Care Program looks like and why the 12 week model is advantageous.
True recovery: Healing the root causes of addiction.
Finding centeredness, calmness, joyfulness.
Can you actually trust plant medicines?
Ultra-conservatism vs. open-mindedness in recovery circles.
Psychedelics in Recovery.

Links from this episode



Natura Care Programs
Psychedelics in Recovery
Todd’s Website
Ben’s Freedom from Addiction Circle
Evolving Man Brotherhood Free-Trial on Circle
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Scott Lyons is the author of the book “Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis and Chaos in Yourself and Others”. He joins me for a discussion about all addictions - from alcohol to sex to food, and of course drama - and how they are formed. We also talk about how to heal from addiction by addressing the root.

Scott also runs a Somatic Therapy school called The Embody Lab which offers fantastic training for coaches and healers. In this episode we dive into:


The origins of addiction and how to define it (Disease or no disease?) 
Medical model vs. Humanistic model view of addiction.
The opposite of addiction is connection to self and others.
Finding comfort in filling voids and dissociation.
The deadliness of loneliness. 
Why do we experience traumas differently?
The defence mechanism of denial.
The link between addiction and a fear of intimacy.
What addicted to drama looks like? 
Attachment to unnecessary turmoil and nervous system activation.
Making sense vs. making sensation.
How are you unconsciously creating childhood patterns in your adult life?
Exaggerated responses vs. an inner sense of normalcy.
Assessing currencies of love from childhood.
The separation of process addictions and the necessities of being human.
Disrupting your inner peace with the “revving reflex”.
What does it look like to recover from addiction and heal?
Building tolerance for ease and connection.
Creating a narrative around withdrawal symptoms.
Trauma lives in your nervous system and is a felt experience. 
MDMA therapy and trauma.
Is it possible to escape drama in the capitalist world we live in?
How do you support someone who is addicted to drama?
Mirror neuron responses.
Taking responsibility for the role you play in relationships.

Links:



Book - Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons
Scott's Somatic Training School - The Embody Lab
Scott’s Website
Scott’s Instagram
Scott’s Facebook
Scott’s YouTube
The Freedom From Addiction Circle 
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.