Those Who Fight Erin Hyles and Allen Ortega

“The coolest shinobi are puking in corners, that’s how you get your ninja powers.”
We’re back after a fairly protracted break involving a real actual wildfire, evacuations, and a bout of the flu. In this episode we apologize profusely, protect Fort Condor, talk yet again about nuclear reactors and mankind’s very temporary dominion over nature, reminisce about paid video game tip lines, perform CPR, take part in a very fascist waste of time and resources in Junon, and get seasick on the cargo ship heading to Costa Del Sol.
Intro: Rufus’s Welcoming Ceremony, acoustic guitar cover by Edigar Monteiro
Outro: J-E-N-O-V-A, cover by moonbowmusicmovie

In our ninth episode we take a short break in the resort town of Costa Del Sol, talk about how disturbingly fast the housing market turn-around is for the dead President’s vacation house and try to bumblingly parse whatever the NPC Johnny’s deal is. In a classic FF7 move we move immediately to abject poverty in the ruined mining town of Corel, find out a bit about Barret’s background, make a sort of obscure American Dad reference, and have a very depressing side discussion about what growing up poor does to you emotionally.

Intro: Costa Del Sol, four-piece band arrangement by moonbowmusicmovie
Outro: Mark of a Traitor, re-arranged by Beyond Midgar

Episode ten of our multipart journey through the world of Final Fantasy VII takes us down the garbage chute into Corel Prison, where we will start unraveling some further connections FF7 has to Kabbalistic Judaism beyond even the naming conventions. We’ll also talk about the second part of Barret’s backstory, and take the side trek to Gongaga, where we’ll discover that Aerith really is just the coolest, nicest person on this bitch of an earth.
Intro: Desert Wasteland, prog rock cover by BlackearacheXD
Outro: Cosmo Canyon, jazz cover by The Consouls

Hosts Allen and Erin spend the day in Cosmo Canyon, learning about planet science and the nature of the Lifestream - the metaphysical heart of Final Fantasy VII. Erin gives us a very brief introduction to the heretical teachings of Gnosticism and how it relates to many of our favorite pop culture artifacts, we kill a whole-ass boss with just a Phoenix Down, and we get decidedly serious talking about the unique pains of losing a parent.

Intro: Cosmo Canyon, acoustic guitar version by Daisuke Minamizawa
Outro: Great Warrior, piano cover by TPR

Allen and Erin make their way to Cloud’s hometown of Nibelheim for the first(???) time as we talk player agency, the murkiness of memory, and Norse mythology. Allen is several glasses of wine in and thus is in the perfect headspace for being confused and finding a Hot Topic shift manager straight chillin' in a coffin in Shinra Mansion’s basement.
Intro: Anxious Heart, lo-fi chill version by Kannibal
Outro: The Nightmare Begins, piano/orchestrated version by Lucas King

The INSANE new trailer for the FF7 Remake just dropped and we’re amped despite ourselves. Allen and Erin take a big chunk of time to talk about what overpriced version of this damn thing we’re buying, one of the new characters debuted in the trailer, whether or not Advent Children sucks (which we’ve previously promised not to do), how much of a jerk we’re letting Cid be, space travel disasters, Dunkaroos, and Erin also lets you in on her favorite materia combination, which is some lowdown dirty-dirty.

Intro: Those Who Fight Further, The Black Mages version
Outro: Oppressed People, cover by Dylan Barone