Unraveling Adoption Beth Syverson

“I didn't want to lose them. I loved them both and I thought, it's hard to think about your life separated. I guess now knowing all that I know about being separated from the first person that I was supposed to be with, you know, I just never wanted to be separated from either one of them.” -- Jane Spreckley
 
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Jane Spreckley, an adoptee whose adoptive parents divorced when she was 14 years old. Jane shares her experience of how the divorce activated her abandonment issues and impacted her relationships. She emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents seeking therapy with adoption-competent therapists for their children during difficult times like divorce. Jane also highlights the significance of open communication and compassion within families going through similar situations. The conversation sheds light on the complexities adoptees face during divorce and the need for understanding and support. 
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 📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX 
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RESOURCES:
 
Jane’s information:
 
Find Jane on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jane.spreckley.9
Email Jane at Spreck529@verizon.net
 
Other Resources:
 
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
 
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
 
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Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast
00:05:30 - Jane's Experience with Parents' Divorce
00:10:00 - Realization of Impact from First Abandonment
00:13:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Going Through Divorce
00:17:20 - Advice for Adoptees Dealing with Divorcing Parents
00:20:00 - Encouragement for Self-Compassion and Support for Jane
00:21:30 - Gratitude to Patreon Supporters and Call to Share the Episode

“I have a hard time believing in love, that love just really exists, that you can love somebody. Then I feel like I have a hard time loving men and stuff, so I wouldn't want them to get hurt if they ever felt like I didn't love them.” - Tammy Murphy

Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Tammy Murphy, a Black, same-race, domestic adoptee living in Indiana. Tammy shared her struggles with social anxiety and dissociation, stemming from her adoption experience. She recounted how her adoptive mother's inconsistent responses to her questions about being adopted led to confusion and a sense of not belonging. Tammy also shared her journey of self-medication with substances like alcohol and marijuana to cope with her feelings of disconnect and identity crisis.
Despite facing challenges in forming deep relationships and feeling a sense of authenticity, Tammy has taken steps towards healing. She recently started therapy and has begun journaling to identify triggers and coping mechanisms. Tammy expressed her aspirations to become an adoption therapist and to write a memoir titled Two to Forgive, focusing on forgiveness towards her birth mother and adoptive mother.
Throughout the episode, Tammy emphasized the importance of honesty in adoptive families, early communication about adoption, and seeking therapy and self-help resources to navigate the complexities of adoption trauma. 
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Resource mentioned in this episode:
Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction: https://amzn.to/3QLyqXF Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

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TIME STAMPS:

00:05:30 - Connecting with Others as an Adoptee
00:11:01 - Seeking Therapy and Beginning to Address Adoption Trauma
00:14:06 - Future Goals: Becoming an Adoption Therapist
00:15:50 - Advice for Adoptive Parents: Honesty and Openness
00:16:40 - Impact of Lies and Deception on Adoptees
00:18:16 - Advice for Adoptees: Therapy, Emotional Intelligence, and Coping Strategies
 
 

"I'm in a great place, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally." -- Joey Nakao
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this heartfelt episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes her son, Joey, back to the podcast after a five-month hiatus. Joey, a courageous 20-year-old in recovery from addiction, shares his journey of sobriety and self-discovery with listeners.
The episode delves into Joey's recent experiences at Hazelden Betty Ford in Palm Springs, where he is participating in a PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). Joey reflects on the challenges he has faced during his recovery, including moments of discomfort and the temptation to leave the program. However, he credits the supportive community at the treatment center for helping him stay grounded and committed to his sobriety.
Joey opens up about his transformative experiences with meditation, where he received messages of healing and self-preservation. He also discusses his plans for the future, including moving into an apartment with a friend from rehab and continuing his recovery journey.
As the episode unfolds, Beth and Joey discuss their upcoming book, Adoptees and Suicidality, which aims to shed light on the connection between adoption and mental health struggles. Joey expresses his desire to be more involved in the podcast and potentially pursue a career in counseling or recovery support.
Throughout the episode, Joey emphasizes the importance of honesty, self-nurturing, and community support in the recovery process. He encourages listeners struggling with addiction to stay hopeful and seek help from those who can hold their truth with compassion.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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 RESOURCES:
Hear an earlier episode with Joey and Beth about suicidality: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558716
Hazelden Betty Ford Addiction and Mental Health Treatment Services (with services throughout the US): https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
 Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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Timestamps: 00:05:30 - Joey's Recovery Journey: Joey discusses his experience with recovery and the challenges he faced in previous attempts.
00:10:17 - Importance of Community in Recovery: Joey emphasizes the role of community and support in his recovery journey.
00:15:07 - Milestones in Recovery: Joey reflects on his progress in recovery and the importance of taking it day by day.
00:17:14 - Comparison between SMART Recovery and AA: Joey explains the differences between SMART Recovery and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in terms of approach and structure.
00:18:28 - Transformative Meditation Experiences: Joey shares his experiences with meditation and the insights he gained during the practice.
00:21:35 - Unraveling Adoption Book Announcement: Beth discusses the upcoming release of the book Adoptees and Suicidality and its significance in raising awareness about suicide.
00:23:20 - Overcoming Stigma in Recovery: Joey encourages understanding and compassion for individuals struggling with addiction, emphasi

"Taiko drumming is a wonderful way to release lots of negative energy and have it transformed into positive energy. " -- Jennifer Weir
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Jennifer Weir, a Korean adoptee who connected with her Asian identity through Taiko drumming. Jennifer shares her journey of being adopted from South Korea at a young age and growing up in North Dakota with very little Asian representation. Despite facing bullying and struggles with identity, Jennifer found solace in Taiko drumming, eventually becoming the executive director of Taiko Arts Midwest.
The episode delves into Jennifer's experience organizing a groundbreaking concert featuring elite women Taiko drummers from Japan, the US, and Canada. The concert, captured in the award-winning documentary Finding Her Beat, highlighted the challenges faced by women in the male-dominated Taiko industry. The film showcases the power of Taiko drumming as a form of expression and healing, resonating with audiences worldwide.
Beth and Jennifer discuss the complexities of Asian identity, the importance of processing grief, and the transformative power of Taiko drumming in navigating personal struggles. Jennifer's journey from a Korean adoptee to a Taiko drumming powerhouse serves as an inspiration to adoptees and individuals exploring their cultural heritage.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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Resources mentioned in this episode: Finding Her Beat documentary: https://www.herbeatfilm.com/
HERbeat: Taiko Women All-Stars (Full Concert Video): https://vimeo.com/ondemand/herbeat
TaikoArts Midwest: https://www.taikoartsmidwest.org/
Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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Timestamps: 00:01:05 - Guest Introduction: Jennifer Weir, Korean Adoptee
00:02:20 - Jennifer's Adoption Story: Arrival in the U.S.
00:03:31 - Growing Up in North Dakota as an Asian Adoptee
00:06:00 - Lack of Asian Cultural Connection in Childhood
00:08:00 - Experience of Bullying and Microaggressions in School
00:09:37 - Jennifer's Response to Bullying and Racism
00:11:59 - Vulnerable Story of Dealing with Bullying
00:13:32 - Coping with Rage
00:15:11 - Taiko Drumming is Cathartic and Therapeutic
00:16:08 - Women in Taiko Drumming: Gender Dynamics
00:17:13 - Empowering Women in Taiko Drumming
00:19:53 - Production of "Finding Her Beat" Documentary
00:21:38 - Jennifer's Family Involvement in Taiko Drumming
00:22:05 - Choosing Japanese Taiko Drumming over Korean Drumming
00:25:20 - Impact of Finding Her Beat on the Adoptee Community
00:27:02 - Information on Finding Her Beat film and TaikoArts Midwest
00:28:02 - Support Unraveling Adoption Podcast and Patreon Membership
 

"...when you're walking around with a sense of loss, or you feel like your first mother or first family don't want you, there's two ways you go about this. Either A, you're going to get really enmeshed and get real clingy because you don't want to lose. Or B, you get this detachment, and as adoptees and groups sometimes say, ‘I'm going to leave you before you leave me.’" -- Jonathan Newbern
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Jonathan Newbern, a same-race domestic adoptee deeply involved with Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Jonathan shared his poignant adoption journey, marked by a late discovery of his adoption status and a tumultuous childhood. He bravely delved into the connection between relinquishment trauma, adoption trauma, reunion trauma, and codependency, shedding light on the complexities adoptees often face.
Jonathan's personal experiences and insights into codependency from an adoptee's perspective provided valuable tools and practical advice for those struggling with similar issues. He emphasized the importance of seeking help, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care practices to navigate the challenges of codependency.
Throughout the episode, Jonathan's vulnerability and resilience shone through as he shared his journey of healing and growth. His message of empowerment and self-worth resonated deeply, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Jonathan’s information:
Jonathan on Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/jonknee1/
Jonathan on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.newbern
Email Jonathan: jonknee51475@gmail.com
 
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Codependents Anonymous (CODA): https://coda.org/
Adoption Mosaic: https://adoptionmosaic.com/
 
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
 
Timestamps 00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Codependency
00:05:30 - Jonathan's Adoption Story Unveiled
00:10:45 - Codependency and Attachment Styles
00:17:05 - Jonathan's Journey to Codependents Anonymous
00:20:39 - Recovery Tools and Self-Care Practices
00:22:06 - Embracing the Adoption Constellation
00:26:20 - Contact Information for Jonathan

Sexuality and Adoption: Insights from a Transracial Adoptee and Sex Therapist "For me, sexual and reproductive health or our sexuality is so connected with attraction, with attachment style, with self-esteem, with the wish for connecting and creating long-term bonds." -- Anna Linde
Read the transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HVN38Q94D5ZXH9GR708NDX4E
 
Adoptive parents, you're invited to a webinar that Anna Linde will be leading on June 5, 2024. More information and register here: https://AnnaLinde.eventbrite.com
  Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Anna Linde, a transracial adoptee and a sex therapist. Anna shared her unique perspective on the intersection of adoption and sexuality, shedding light on the complexities and challenges adoptees face in this area.
Anna, who was adopted from Brazil to Sweden at just six weeks old, grew up as one of the few Black children in her community. She discussed the impact of the "white gaze" on her self-perception and how it influenced her views on intimacy and relationships.
Throughout the conversation, Anna highlighted the importance of addressing shame, anxiety, and boundaries in adoptees' sexual identities. She emphasized the need for adoptive parents to create a safe space for their children to explore healthy boundaries and navigate their sexuality with confidence.
The discussion delved into the role of cultural stereotypes in shaping adoptees' sexual experiences and the challenges of navigating relationships in a society that often perpetuates harmful norms. Anna shared personal anecdotes and insights from her work as a sex therapist, offering valuable perspectives on how adoptees can cultivate a positive relationship with their bodies and sexuality.
Towards the end of the episode, we announced an upcoming webinar on June 5 which will be led by Anna, focusing on sexual and reproductive health for adoptees. The webinar aims to provide adoptive parents and caretakers with valuable insights and tools to support their children in developing healthy attitudes towards sexuality.
Overall, this episode provided a thought-provoking exploration of the complex dynamics at the intersection of adoption and sexuality, offering valuable guidance and insights for adoptees and adoptive parents alike. Anna's expertise and personal experiences added depth and nuance to the conversation, highlighting the importance of addressing these issues within the adoption community.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES: Anna’s  information:
Find Anna on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-linde-08264692/
Find Anna on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lindes_therapy/
Here’s Anna’s Linktree with more resources: https://linktr.ee/lindestherapy
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to the podcast and guest, Anna Linde
00:05:39 - Discussion on the white gaze and self-identity
00:07:49 - Impact of body image on sexuality
00:10:17 - Common sexua