You'll Only Listen Twice Jake, Troy, Jan, Producer Paul

The dead are alive (whatever the f*** that means). This week, Jake, Troy, Jan, and good ol’ producer Paul are taking a look at Sam Mendes’ follow up to the widely successful Skyfall, 2015’s less successful Spectre. Is it the best James Bond film, or the worst? You are kites dancing in a hurricane, fellow listeners because there is some disagreement amongst our hosts over the quality of the film, so the discussion gets pretty nasty. Get ready for 2 and half hours of debating the film’s script, central romance (featuring two cranky, monotoned, blue eyed blondes), and  Christoph Waltz’s understated performance as Franz Oberhauser (who is definitely not Blofeld). Did we mention there’s a tribute to Sam Smith’s Oscar winning, mope-fest, theme song? That’s right, this is a musical. This episode will be the author of all your pain!

This is it, fellow listeners. The big one. Jake, Troy, Jan, and good ol’ producer Paul are talking about the critically acclaimed and most financially successful Bond film, Skyfall. Daniel Craig returns in yet his third consecutive Bond origin film, but this time he’s… old? Grab yourself a Heineken and listen to our heroes decipher what exactly made this movie so successful. Was it Sam Mendes’ direction? Was it the cinematography by Roger “the Deak” Deakins? Was it Joker Javier Bardem? Was it the Adele song? Was it Kincade? Tune in to find out… but the answer is Kincade.

A door left open? A woman walking by? A drop in the water? A look in the eye? A phone on the table? A man on your side? Someone that you think that you can trust is just another… meh Bond movie. That’s right fellow listeners, Jake, Troy, Jan, and good ol’ producer Paul are joined again by Doggify to talk about Darko Belgrade- I mean Daniel Craig’s underwhelming follow up to Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace. From the director of Finding Neverland and World War Z, comes the first film to be written, shot, and edited by a chimpanzee. A writer’s strike? Shaky cam? 2-frame shots? What can possibly go wrong? Does anyone remember Epic Movie? How does Darko Belgrade’s turn as Bond stack up? What are we talking about?

Fellow listeners, the timeline has been reset to 0, and our hosts Jake, Troy, Jan, and good ol’ producer Paul are taking a look at the first proper reboot of the official James Bond series, Casino Royale.  Pierce Brosnan is out, and some blonde guy named Daniel Craig is in yet another adaption of Ian Fleming’s first novel. However, after two embarrassing strikes, they’ve finally cracked the code and made possibly the best James Bond movie ever, with some of the best writing in the series and one of the best love stories. Honestly, this episode might be our heroes’ most substantiive in the whole series because they actually provide character analysis, discuss themes, and other pretentious crap like that (and it’s not just Troy rambling about death and the hero’s journey). You know what? Screw this review. Don’t listen to this crap, just watch Casino Royale again. Seriously, the movie is a lot shorter than this episode. Ah what the hell, stay if you want to, but that’s nearly 3 hours that you’ll never get back, but at least you can hear these morons have a good in-depth discussion about a great movie.

Jake, Troy, Jan, and good ol’ producer Paul, along with Jake’s CGI brother, Andrew, are gonna break the cycle. They’re gonna shake up the system. They’re gonna destroy their ego. They’re gonna close their bodies now. Uh! Uh! That’s right, fellow listeners, this week’s review is Pierce Brosnan’s final and most divisive Bond film, Die Another Day! Is this movie really the worst Bond film ever made? Well, our heroes’ responses may shock you (with a Buzz Lightyear suit)! Step into the dream machine and listen to the boys discuss the film’s wacky tone, the CGI, the editing, the DNA replacement therapy, the Halle Berry, EVERYTHING!!! It’s time to face destiny! Sigmund Freud, analyze this… B*TCH!!!!

Just when you thought Christmas only comes once a year, Jake, Troy, Jan, and  good ol’ producer Paul are joined by Jan’s dead wife, Melissa, to talk about Pierce Brosnan’s third Bond outing, The World is Not Enough. Is it foolish sentiment? A family motto? Or just an alright movie from the director of The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader? Strap into your comfy jacket cocoon, fellow listeners, as our heroes get into it about the film’s action scenes, love story or “lackthereof,” and it’s Garbage theme song, which is actually a f******g bop. Not to mention, they answer the age old question: Is The Dark Knight Rises just a remake of this movie?  This episode is full of ghosts, goblins, and Rumpelstiltskin. Mamma Mia! Here we go again!