Hi, I'm Belah. Along with thousands around the world, you will go deep into the real issues, joys, and how-tos of physical intimacy. It's playful, peaceful, purposeful, and really intimately exciting!
Discover insights around godly intimacy on how men tick and how women feel! And you'll be amazed to hear the inspiring stories of transformations and advice from the expert guests as well! It's scriptural and practical.
If you're a man, you'll be drawn because you want to understand your wife, how to invite her in intimacy, and even your own God-given sexual desires. If you're a woman you'll understand how to enjoy your own pleasure and love your man through sex.
Free gifts for you! https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/free
If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage apply for a Clarity Call ($300 value) here: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc
341-"I Didn't Realize How Much I Needed to Change". Meredith's Transformation Story
You're doing it. You want to hear where you might need to grow. You want to see where you might not see yet. That was Meredith's heart and what led to their amazing transformation.
It is God's kindness to lead us to repentance.
He loves those He disciples.
What are Christians...?
Who are Christ-followers...?
What is a Disciple of Jesus?
We're the ones who ask:
"Jesus, what do you want to teach me? What can I learn to be more like you? How can I walk more in your will today? Show me. Teach me. Guide me."
We are all broken and blind to many things.
(I am in that category, for sure!)
We are all missing some things that others already know -- because God opened their eyes.
If you click this episode, I am proud of you.
You are seeking how you might need to change.
You are seeking what God might want to show you, too, just as He opened Meredith's eyes.
This is a story of transformation from a woman who chose to see the world as God set it up.
Not because it's easy.
Not because it's "natural".
Not because the non-Christians agree with this mindset.
But, because when the Lord spoke truth to her heart surrounding her marriage, she chose to have an open heart and be moved by His truth.
May God speak to you through her story.
She loves God.
She wants to share her story not because it's easy to share.
But, because it's her duty to share what God has done in her, and now, how He can do it in others, too.
What is her story:
Through many things, she started her young life away from God and was promiscuous.
So, sex was tainted from the beginning. When she got into marriage, she associated negative things with sex and now she is a repentant Jesus follower.
This sex-thing must not be important to God.
But then, her eyes were opened and God has done incredible things in her, her husband, and their family.
Now she even has the desire for intimacy. True desire. She's enjoying it and desiring it for herself.
It wasn't immediate, it was a process.
But you can get there, too.
I love you and I'm rooting for you.
PS - We'd love to join you on this journey. A single podcast episode isn't enough.
I'd encourage you to take the leap of faith and decide it's time to address this head-on.
And like Meredith, we'd love to join you on a (proven) journey, where you can come to a place of healing, joy, and even desire for the gift God gave Adam and Eve.
Let's talk: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
When you sign up for a time with a Clarity Advisor - a trained graduate of these very programs - where it's fully confidential and judgment-free, you'll have time to process things you may never have before.
An opportunity for us to see how we can help you in your specific situation.
We love you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc
340-What to Do With Your Jealousy
If you have temptations to jealousy, here's what I recommend.
If you've listened to the transformation stories and become upset, angry, bitter, resentful...
I want to give you some ideas on what to do.
I get that way too.
I have certain triggers that throw me completely off.
You might as well.
I want to give you some ideas on how I deal with my triggers.
And I want you to get really CURIOUS about what you can learn from these triggers to jealousy and how you can end the cycle.
PS -- We'd love to help you on a Clarity Call, feel free to sign up for a free one here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
We get to see miracles everyday and we'd love to help you.
339-Irritable & Hurt to Flirty & Free. Emily's Transformation Story
I've been there.
Angry because he wouldn't change.
Hurt because he wasn't giving me what I needed.
And God was kind to me.
He helped me to see that there were places in my heart that needed to be utterly changed.
This journey to freedom in your marriage is one that should start with the heart.
If you're a wife, you may see yourself in Emily's story. I know I do.
If you're a husband, you can see more of how you can serve and love your wife, and also, have hope that God can do miracles in your marriage.
Looking forward to you being blessed by God's kindness through this testimony of Jesus' transformation.
PS - If you'd like to find out how your marriage can shift in the ways Emily speaks about, I invite you to join a free Clarity Call ($300 value) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
We'd love to serve you and witness God do a miracle in your life as well. Schedule now: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PPS - Last year, Belah was part of the special intimacy expert panel in the 2021 Sex Seminar (a huge success!). Well, she was honored to be invited back for the 2022 Sex Seminar, presenting alongside 22 other professionals in the field. Her topic is THE 8 BARRIERS WOMEN HAVE TO SEX.
Next week, we'll be sending you a discount code for the entire seminar (which is packed full of value and helpful insights from all sorts of important intimacy topics) and we hope it will be a blessing for your marriage!
338-"Pretty Much Done with Life" and Now True Intimacy. Len's Transformation Story
"I was pretty much done with life...I wouldn't have minded if I passed away. If this is all life has to offer, what's the point?"
A father of 7.
Deep sadness of his inner life.
But then... God did an incredible, incredible, incredible thing.
This title doesn't by any means tell the whole story. But I want you to hear the incredible result that God did.
(My other suggested title was "Zero/yr to 5x/wk and She Didn't Know He Did the Program!")
However, the process is what God did in His heart and the fruits showed up in his marriage and intimacy.
And after 10 months of nothing, she started initiating (A LOT) and loving him the way he receives love (in response to his change.)
My favorite part of this story?
That there are seven children growing up in a happy home. A man who no longer hopes for the end, but one who looks forward to what God is doing through and in his life.
That is a good God story.
PS - If you'd like to have access to the program that Ken took, sign up for a free Clarity Call (a $300 value) to see if your situation would transform like his. We have a trained Clarity Advisor who will help you discern where you are and if DYM can help you.
Whether your marriage is good or desperate. We get to witness the transformation like Ken, but also that those who have good marriages go to great (!!)
Sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
PS - A recent grad wrote:
"My marriage has completely changed.
I would have not guessed that all of this could have happened in such a short amount of time…
and I will forever be grateful for what God is doing in y’all and through y’all!"
Why couldn't this be you?
Sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc
337-Three Ways to Dismantle the Marital Atomic Bomb During the Countdown
They're saying a lot of hurtful things.
They're saying it in a mean tone of voice.
Their face has the look of disgust, or worse.
You can feel your temperature rising.
You can feel your face getting red.
You can feel your rage welling up from the pit of your belly.
Is it righteous indignation?
Is it because they need godly correction -- and fast?
Is it that you're just plain tired of being unfairly beaten down?
In the midst of that moment of emotional alarm...
When the atomic bomb is counting down and it feels like everything has to happen right then, or else...
And your "wise brain" - the prefrontal cortex - has gone completely offline and your "childish/immature brain" is the only thing left and can't seem to see anything but red alarm bells everywhere...
Here are 3 tools to dismantle the bomb BEFORE the explosion detonates and destroys and/or damages all that you hold dear
...hurting the people you love the most - those you're assigned by God to protect, respect, love, and cherish.
But just like a professional bomb dismantler (it's probably called that, right?)...
You've got to be trained AND you've got to practice before the bomb is about to go off.
These are tools to practice.
These are tools that will make you more like Jesus if you practice them.
God has given us wonderful ways to respond to situations in the moment and here are 3 that I want you to have.
Looking forward to hearing how this impacts your life!
PS - We'd love to help you have the marriage you deeply desire and increase how God can use you more effectively if you do have it.
Emotionally, physically, and spiritually fulfilled in God's design.
Get on a call with one of our Clarity Advisors to let us hear your story and to have the insights to see how we can help you.
This is a $300 value -- our gift to you for free -- so God can move in you and your marriage.
It's a brave and important step to get your marriage healed: delightyourmarriage.com/cc
336-His Aggression Impulse (& Wrong Sex)
SO much packed in here, but I tried to narrow it down so you have a helpful summary. We go deep in this episode, I really think it'll help you.
Three points are made in this episode:
1 - Your feelings are God given and He wants to do something because of them.
2 - It is healthy and even Jesus-like to express your frustration emotions (without hurting anyone) and grieve through your sad emotions (tears are important).
3 - Regardless of your lot in life, it is your responsibility (not your family of origin, perhaps you didn't have a good role model, maybe you were exposed to porn, or your wife doesn't have wholehearted sex with you every other day...) to correctly follow God with your emotions.
A lot of men learned to deal with frustration through masturbation and/or pornography. It was a very tactical way to get frustration out of their body.
However, that stunted the opportunity to get frustration out in a healthy way, so that their brains could develop in the way God wanted it to -- with empathy, gentleness, and kindness.
So, they came into marriage assuming they'd be able to replace their "frustration valve" of pornography with their wife's body.
And surprise... they're still frustrated.
Because that's not Jesus' way.
They may struggle now with anger, aggression, bitterness, resentment, being judgmental...
Sex addiction, still...
Alcoholism, video game addiction, binge-watching nonsense...
Longing for your past sexual escapades...
Daydreaming about divorce so you could get a new partner...
Other similar things are unhealthy ways of expelling the frustration.
(Things that, if it was printed on the front page of a newspaper, you would be ashamed of.)
I want you to know -- I am proud of you for even reading this email -- and if you're in any of these loops -- I think God is proud of you for facing it! Bravo!
Listen, this is not just for men, but I hope this will help you process what's going on with you a bit more.
Feelings are good. They're God given. They tell us something. It may be that WE need to process, mature, slow-down, feel grief, etc. so we can feel empathy...
I want you to listen to this episode because I really think it could help you and help all of us pursue Jesus better.
Love & Blessings,
PS - If you want to dedicate a short season of your life to DO this practically. To live this out for the betterment of your marriage & intimacy but also in service to your kids and ministry -- I'd love to invite you to join a free Clarity Call.
On that call, a Clarity Advisor who is specifically trained in helping you draw out your emotions that may be pent up and looking like anger and self-righteousness instead of frustration and sadness.
People who chose not to move forward with our recommendation because of their current season of life or any other things have emailed afterwards to share how helpful it was for that empathetic and listening ear.
We'd love to help, schedule a call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc