Singleness, Sex, and Dating Podcast Perry Noble

Episode Summary
One of the biggest frustrations among singles is NOT being able to get a date, here are EIGHT reasons to consider why you may not be dating…


1. It’s not time!!! 


2. You want to get married more than you want to walk with Jesus!


3.  You are bitter!


4. You struggle with impurity!


5. You are trying too hard!!!


6. You are finding your identity in who you date (or if you can get a date) more than you are in a relationship with Jesus!


7. You are willing to compromise in order to go out with someone! If you are a follower of Jesus Christ then compromise can never be a consideration!!!


8. Especially if you are a dude…you are not responsible financially!!!



Episode Resources



Episode Quotes
One of the worst things you could do as a single person is spend so much time evaluating other people and not actually evaluating yourself. — Perry Noble

A person can be so in love with the idea of getting married so much so that their walk with Jesus will suffer. — Perry Noble

Run hard after Jesus and look to your right and to your left and if the person you want to pursue or that is pursuing you is beside you in that run, then they’re probably the one — Perry Noble

You’ve got to ask God for brokenness rather than bitterness so that the bitterness in your life can be healed. — Perry Noble

Getting married, we’re supposed to be better together, not bitter together. — Perry Noble

Self control is a gift given to us by the Holy Spirit — Perry Noble

You can be sexually involved with someone and not be intimate with them. — Perry Noble

Sex without intimacy leads to destruction every single time. — Perry Noble

There's a difference between pursuing and stalking. — Perry Noble

Girls, if you have to consistently throw yourself at a man, that's not the man you need to be with. — Perry Noble

The person that you find your identity in- anyone other than Jesus- they’re ultimately going to let you down. Not because they’re mean. It's just because they're human. — Perry Noble

If you're a follower of Christ them compromise can never be a consideration. — Perry Noble

There’s no such thing as missionary dating. — Perry Noble

If you feel like you have to compromise before the relationship, after the relationship begins there will be nothing but compromise. — Perry Noble

If you want to find a wife, the best thing you can do today is do whatever it takes to get our of debt. — Perry Noble


All Content is © 2005 - 2024 All Rights Reserved

Episode Summary


Perry teaches through these 10 things to consider to see if you are dating the right one:


1. They are not willing to fight for purity.

2. If they are trying to get me to compromise what God’s word says so clearly.

3. If you are always defending him/her to the people who know you, love you and love Jesus.

4. If you find yourself not wanting to talk about him/her in front of the people in your life that you KNOW may disapprove of the relationship for some reason.

5. If you know the relationships isn’t really going anywhere but you don’t want to break up because doing so would cause you to be insecure because you have allowed yourself to be identified by who you are dating rather than who you are in Christ.

6. You find out they are lying to you.

7. If you cannot confront them about issues without them losing their temper.

8. If you discover they are unfaithful to you.

9. If something about them drives you insane but you convince yourself that after you get married, that problem will go away.

10. If the Lord has specifically spoken to you and instructed you to end the relationship because you can’t or you won’t because you don’t want to hurt them or fear that if you end the relationship then you won’t have a chance at another one.



Episode Resources



Episode Quotes
If people aren’t willing to fight for purity before they’re married, there’s a greater chance they won’t fight for it after they’re married. — Perry Noble

Purity is a fight. — Perry Noble

It is totally possible to love Jesus and at the same time have to fight for purity. — Perry Noble

You can fight better in community than you can alone. — Perry Noble

Compromise can never be a consideration if you want a setup for a healthy marriage. — Perry Noble

No one has EVER been fixed by compromise. — Perry Noble

If the relationship isn't going anywhere, a conversation is needed. — Perry Noble

If they lie to you when you're dating, it's a pattern in their life, and they will lie to you when you're married. — Perry Noble

A guy that loses his temper all the time is not someone you'll be able to trust with your heart or with your children. — Perry Noble

A woman that cannot control her emotions is not submitted to the Holy Spirit of God. — Perry Noble

If you find out that they're cheating on you, you do not need to date them. You're better than that. — Perry Noble

Marriage is a magnifier. — Perry Noble

It wasn’t that she was a bad girl or I was a bad guy. We just were not BEST for each other. — Perry Noble

Obedience is never easy, but it’s always right. — Perry Noble


All Content is © 2005 - 2024 All Rights Reserved

Episode Summary
In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions:

1. RC from SC asks: Do you think it's wrong to work for and/or go to places like Hooters?

2. Kira from NC asks: What are the real roles in a relationship for each partner? Do the man and the woman have different roles?

3. Bryn from the United Kingdom writes: Pastor P, after listening to your podcast I decided I wanted to stand up emotionally, and sat down with the girl I've had feelings for to let her know how I felt. We are good friends and while she didn't give me feedback on how she felt I get the sense she feels the same way but finds the idea of relationships intimidating. How do I pursue her in a Godly way that makes her feel cared for without being pressured, while trying to grow emotionally myself?

4. Tori in SC asks: I have been struggling with singleness especially with it being "engagement season." How do you cope with the loneliness? And how do you know if you are being called to singleness?

5. Grace in Washington writes: As a kid growing up in church, I feel like I was taught that the best way to honor God was to avoid dating relationships altogether. Now as a college student, I am beginning a relationship with a godly man, and even though I like him, I sometimes struggle to let him pursue me because for so long I have believed that godliness and romance are opposed to one another (unless you're married.) What practical advice would you have for me as I try to pursue a TRUE biblical view of romance within the context of this new relationship?

6. Christian in SD asks: How do I know which girl to pursue? There are two really awesome godly girls at my church. Girl #1 I have liked for about 5 years - I have asked her out a couple of times, but she has shot me down both times. Girl #2 seems a little flirty with me, but I don't think I could be all in to a relationship with her due to my feelings for girl #1. Do I just not take no for an answer from girl #1 or do I pursue girl #2 and hope my other feelings diminish?

7. Tyler from SC asks: Is it wrong to masterbate if you are married and you think about your wife/husband when you do it? As long as it doesn't interfere with your intimate time together?

8. BONUS FOR TIME Unknown in Ohio: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. During our relationship we have messed up sexually. We've talked about not doing it again but it just keeps happening again and again. I'm tired of feeling guilty… What should I do? The thought of breaking up with him gets me excited because I won't have to feel guilty about sexually sinning but it also worries me because what if I never get to date again? Should I just keep trying to work things out?

Episode Resources
Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book!

Episode Quotes
The guy is the leader, the girl is the challenge. — Perry Noble
If the dude is passive, you need to pass on him. — Perry Noble
The roles may reverse for a season, but if it’s not a season, then the relationship gets really sick. — Perry Noble
If God has put the desire in your heart to get married one day, you’re not called to singleness. — Perry Noble
You know you're called to be single when you don’t deal with that loneliness anymore. — Perry Noble
The backup girl is never God’s best for you. — Perry Noble
Until girl #2 becomes girl #1 you can’t commit to her. — Perry Noble
You need to stay with w…

Episode Summary
In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions:

1) Ken in Virginia: I met this girl who I felt that I have great chemistry with but is not a Christian. Is continuing a relationship with her as friends in hope that she becomes a Christian okay? It almost feels selfish.

2) Michael from California writes: I have been dating a great girl for a while now. I have always heard the saying "You just know" when talking about the time to pop the question. Is this true, how will I really know when I am ready or the time is right?

3) Becca from North Carolina asks: What do you do if you are dating someone and you're not sure you should be dating? I'm just not sure how physically attracted I am to him. Does the physical really matter? Will my attraction for his character and love for Jesus transfer over to the physical?

4) Stacey from California asks: What is the difference between being led in a relationship and being controlled? My parents always brought me up to be independent and my partner's parents brought him up to lead which is causing some friction. A close family friend was abused in her marriage, I am always on the lookout for warning signs but I don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive.

5) Denise from SC writes: I can't get over having an abortion when I was 21 and it bothers me to the point I can't have a relationship with anyone.

6) Elizabeth from South Carolina writes: I was in a 3 yr. relationship with my ex and we had a baby. Things didn't work out between us and I sometimes feel betrayed by him for not trying hard enough. Now I feel like I have trust/commitment issues that won't let me move on. How can I help myself let go of anger or resentment and not have it affect healthy relationships in my life?

7) Kate from KS writes: Why does it feel as though God is holding out or being passive when it comes to my heart and desires? I have encouraged and cheered on friend after friend, wedding after wedding and now baby after baby, around me. It’s like God didn't plan someone for me... I know He does things in his own time but I'm discouraged because of what feels like God's passivity...

RAPID FIRE QUESTIONS:

Q: There’s a guy, he thinks you’re attractive what should he do?

Q: What if you are the girl and you get asked and you aren’t feeling it?

Q: You have the first date with the guy, you’re uncertain about how you feel about them, should you go on another?

Q: What if it’s a second date, and he tries to hold your hand and you aren’t feeling it

Q: How soon is too soon when bringing up the DTR?

Episode Resources
Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book!

Episode Quotes
God wants the absolute best for you. Period. — Perry Noble
Guys- you can def be her friend, BUT you can’t be her friend with your own agenda. — Perry Noble
A girl doesn't want to feel like a project — Perry Noble
The only way to know that you're with the one, is you actually marry them. — Perry Noble
Once you've married them they become "the one". — Perry Noble
If they’re not fun, they’re not the one. — Perry Noble
Being the leader doesn't mean you always get your way — Perry Noble
Being the leader means you often go last — Perry Noble
If someone has to declare they are the leader, they aren't the leader — Perry Noble
Guys- if you're trying to lead from posision "I'm the man", you're not the leader — Perry Noble
Men lead and women challeng…

Episode Summary
In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions:

1) "I frequently get asked'"when are you gonna start dating?' and even at times get made fun of by some family members for being single. I'm in a point in my life where I know God has called me to serve my church community and be single but at times find myself really upset and frustrated cause of the hassle that being single has brought me. How do I deal with my family when they ask me 'when are you going to start dating someone?'" - Stephen from California

2) "How do you know when it is the right time, to ask the woman that you like to take the relationship to the next level?" - Dorsey from New York

3) "What do you think about large age differences in dating/marriage? I seem to get along best with women much younger than I am. Thanks" - Robert from South Carolina 

4) "Recently I was pursued by a great godly guy. After a few months of dating he said that he just wasn't ready to commit, maybe we were better as friends, and he just didn't have that emotional spark with me that he has had in previous relationships. I believe that 'spark' is sometimes lust or shallow infatuation...do you agree? Do you feel butterflies are necessary?" - Anonymous

5) "If you're dating someone who truly loves The Lord and you end up committing sexual sin and then you both repent because of it, should you stay with this person or consider calling it quits?" - Jordan from South Carolina

6) "Is it ok to date a man who is separated from their spouse (for over a year) and in the divorce process? A process that due to attorney complications, may take a long time to finalize...?" - Carol from South Carolina

7) "Any time I pursue a girl I get anxiety that it won’t end well because I have been on the wrong end of a break up and have an anxiety disorder. I have trouble avoiding thinking the worst and I put relationships on pedestals. I’m less stressed and a better person when I’m not pursuing a relationship. How do you trust God when pursuing a women even when anxiety kicks in?" - Michael from Illinois

Episode Resources
Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book!

Episode Quotes
Don't let your emotions run your decisions. — Perry Noble
Sometimes it takes a woman longer to feel a connection. — Perry Noble
It’s not age, it’s maturity. — Perry Noble
If pursuit is the goal then age doesn’t matter. — Perry Noble
Older guys know they can manipulate younger woman. — Perry Noble
You're not always going to have the butterflies, but there needs to be a general excitement when the person walks in the room. — Perry Noble
Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you are called to be miserable the rest of your life. — Perry Noble
If you mess up sexually, it doesn’t mean you need to be end it. It just means you need to set up boundaries and have things in place to adhere to those boundaries. — Perry Noble
Don’t say “we’ve messed up” or “we crossed some lines” or “we went too far”. Fully confess it. — Perry Noble
There’s a difference between repentance and temporary relief. — Perry Noble
When we truly move from seeking temporary relief to repentance, God can heal that relationship. — Perry Noble
In the dating stage - if it’s not fun, they aren’t the one. — Perry Noble
Find out where your security lies. — Perry Noble
If you have to force a relationship, it’s not worth it. Let it happen on it's own. — Pe…

Episode Summary
In this podcast Perry answers REAL questions that you've submitted to perrynoble.com/ask about singleness, sex and dating! In this month's episode, Perry answers the following questions:

"I haven’t found anywhere in the Bible where we are promised a spouse. For years I’ve been told that God has someone just for me and that’s hope I have clung to. But now I realized that God may have a purpose for my singleness. He may not have someone for me. Could that be the case?" - Dana

"What about men and women that are called to be single?" Gianna

"As a guy and leader striving to keep Christ at the center, what are some good practices or ways ensure that we as a couple and I as the leader am keeping Christ at the center?" - Ryan

"I don’t feel like I’m spiritually ready for any dating relationship, but at church, with friends, family or anywhere else I feel like it’s looked down upon and I’m a second class citizen because I’m single. Should I just date someone and figure out any growth and spiritual maturity along the way?" - Parker

"What about praying together… I’ve read conflicting things. Is this ok? Or is it opening yourself up to a level of vulnerability that should occur later down the road?" - Stephanie

"What about single parents dating? When should I introduce my 5 year old son and how? Part of me wants to protect him by not introducing him and seeing where the relationship goes. But the other part of me doesn’t want to fall for a guy before seeing his interaction with my kid." - Stephanie

"I’m a single 23 year old pastor. Whenever I go on a first date I try not to put anymore pressure on it besides getting to know each other. In the last three years every date I’ve been on I leave the date thinking she was nice but I don’t feel a connection. I maintain a friendly relationship… (never go on a date again) but say hi at church. I usually find out the girl is upset with me. I never truly understand why, I didn’t lead her on or try not to. I often feel like giving up dating and women. What is your advice to a young single pastor on dating?" - Rob

"I am unmarried and have already had sex with the man I am with now, he is the only guy that I have had sex with. If we plan to get married why should we stop now?" - Katherine

Episode Resources
Perry is writing a book on being single, relationships and dating scheduled to release later in 2016 and he would LOVE to know what questions you have as a single person, or wish you would've asked before you got married. Just send in your question at perrynoble.com/ask and he may answer it in his book!

Episode Quotes
There is nothing in scripture that promises a spouse, but it does say God made man and woman to help each other. You can’t do life alone. — Perry Noble
If you are called to be single than you probably know it. But if you have a desire in your heart to be married then you have to hold on to that. — Perry Noble
Jesus did not have a romantic relationship and he had an abundant life — Perry Noble
If you depend on romance in a relationship, one day that relationship will no longer be romantic so you will go to affair to affair to affair or bed to bed to bed. — Perry Noble
Men’s facts need our feelings. — Mere Knox
To stay pure and keep Christ at the center, always keep both feet on the floor. — Perry Noble
Purity does not come naturally, it must be fought for. — Perry Noble
Marriage is a gift, so when I begin to think I’m entitled to it, it’s no longer a gift. — Mere Knox
If two people are praying together, it’s real hard to sin together. — Perry Noble
The motivation of prayer should be to get closer to Jesus, not to manipulate the other person. — Perry Noble
God has already given you the discernment you need, now you need to step into what you know. — Perry No…