TRC REMIX: Being Single is Hard... Real Talk with Mia Fieldes The Refined Collective Podcast

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!
 
Welcome to the TRC Remix Series #10. If you’re not sure what this series is click here for more info!
 
I thought it’d be cool to end this series with a conversation that meant SO much to me personally. Like if no one else ever heard this call between Mia Fieldes + I -- it wouldn’t really matter, because our chat deeply impacted me.
 
As a single person who is now 36 years old and has been actively waiting for a very long time to meet my person— there’s times I grow weary. There's times I want to let go of hope and just say forget it. I’m tired of hoping and not getting what I want. I’m tired of the wait. I’m tired of the refining.
 
Mia Fieldes reminded me that first of all it’s ok to admit that being single is freakin’ hard + also how beautifully possible it is to stay connected to hope. If you are feeling tired and weary of hoping...this episode is for you.
 
Staying Connected to Hope in Singleness
 
"How do you believe God for something that is fully dependent on somebody else's free will?"  
There’s an invitation to follow peace so when you are in a storm peace becomes your anchor.  
"Everyone told me marriage would be hard… and I thought 'yeah but being single is hard.'" "When you get to a certain age, people put limitations on you that God never does."  
She notices that everyone seems to be fighting for a piece of the pie, but everyone gets their own whole pie. She got her own promise from God.  
Keeping Perspective
If we spend our energy complaining, we will get no closer to where we want to be. We will receive that negative energy back.  
"You create your world with your words."  
Mia recalls the journey she went on with God guiding her toward a positive mindset and eventually her husband. "God plucked my husband seemingly out of nowhere."  
"If you have to convince someone into something, then believe me someone will convince them out of it."  
It's easy to worry about the things you'll have to compromise on, but when the right person comes along, you'll realize there is no real compromise to be made.  
"It's so important to go to God for yourself and get your own promise. Otherwise you will filter what God is doing with you through everyone else's story." "I don't want the plagiarized version of somebody else's story."  
Mia says that her husband, Joren, has been healing for her.  
"God is writing a way bigger story than you can think about."  
 
Top Three Things To Look For In Your Person
Growth mindset. Conflict savvy. Communication!  
"When you get to a certain age, people put limitations on you that God never does."
 
What limitations are you putting on yourself, on your circumstances, on God...that God never put on you?
What if despite the evidence, you chose to hope?
What would your life look like if you truly believed that God was using all things for your good?
What if God was conspiring every moment in your life FOR YOU, not against you?
 
How would your life look?
Would it feel any different?
Would you be acting / being / hoping differently?
 
I want you to sit with that.
 
Resources
Keep up with Mia Fieldes on Instagram at @miafieldes.  Listen to Mia’s episode of the C3 NYC podcast here.  
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