Be You Podcast Jill Herman

Meet one of Jill’s dearest friends and soul sisters, who happens to be 20 years younger. What? YES! 
Sydney Pacula Owen has a love for both the energetic world unseen and our earthly three dimensional experience. She professionally works as a jewelry designer in her family’s Diamond business focusing on engagement rings and redesigning the old to new. In her creative work, dance is her religion. She has taught creative movement and movement arts to all ages over the past 15 years. Her teaching emphasizes dance as an enjoyable, authentic form of expression. She finds her greatest fulfillment in connecting with others through art whether it be diamonds or dance. 
Listen as they explore unconventional friendship, spirituality, the healing art of intuitive dance, and what it means to find God without rules.
 
Show Notes: [2:08] - Do you have relationships with other people that aren’t easy? Do they feel forced or feel like they don’t flow well?
[4:16] - Do you radically accept everything about yourself? Because if you don’t, you can’t expect that out of a relationship.
[7:50] - Check out Sydney’s website: Pacula Diamonds.
[12:21] - Jill shares her version of meeting Sydney and the deep knowing that she was supposed to do something with her.
[14:45] - Sydney explains how she knew she was supposed to be there for Jill.
[19:02] - Sydney invited Jill to the moon dance experience and kept the invitation intentionally vague.
[21:29] - If you are at all interested in a women’s dance circle, observe one. It opens up a sense of community.
[22:46] - Giving yourself permission gives others permission.
[25:43] - Sydney had to learn to just trust in the space she has created.
[27:30] - Sydney explains how and why she got into dancing and movement as a way to overcome her disconnection.
[31:53] - Intuitive dance is not planned or choreographed. It will be different every time because it is what you need at the moment.
[35:03] - Give yourself the time and space to just be.
[38:47] - By connecting with her body and truly loving herself through movement and dance, she was able to love herself and her body more.
[41:21] - Sydney describes her faith and how her spirituality doesn’t fit into societal religious practice.
[45:13] - Jill has discovered the freedom of being in tune with herself and finding God there.
[47:50] - Prayer and church do not need to look the same for everyone.
[54:21] - Sydney has always been told that she is “an old woman.”
 
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After talking about how we sometimes pretend not to know what to do, this week Jill explains how to know if it's intuition and truth or interference.
And today is the day you get asked a really sobering question.
Tune in to find out what that question is....
 
Show Notes: [2:21] - With any type of deep inner work, you are going to create new neural pathways and new ways of being.
[3:44] - Your intuition will not lead you to confusion.
[4:36] - If it comes from divine truth, it will not be a wobble. It will be clear.
[8:01] - How do you know if something is intuition? How do you know if something is true for you?
[9:23] - If there’s any area of your life where you are not fully yourself, how long are you willing to continue that?
[12:01] - If you are your true authentic self, you are going to trigger some other people.
[13:27] - I will not abandon myself for anyone. When you walk this way, you will recognize the wobble and discern the difference.
[16:12] - When are you going to honor your own guidance? When are you going to step into the role of leading yourself?
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

Jill takes the gloves off and gives us bare knuckles coaching on:
Pretending we don’t know what to do
Not admitting we aren’t willing to do what it takes to get what we say we want 
Being ask-holes 
The lies we tell ourselves about weakness and strength
Blaming everything outside of ourselves for the life we have
Why quitting is sometimes the bravest act
 
Show Notes: [1:27] - Let’s chat about the lie we share that we don’t know what to do.
[2:48] - Our brain craves safety. But safety isn’t safe. It’s just what is familiar.
[4:20] - Some of us are genuinely unwilling to do what it takes. That radical honesty is fine.
[6:18] - Some people will continue to complain about not knowing what to do, even though the solutions have been provided.
[9:33] - We can’t pretend to not know what to do. If we really don’t know what to do, we can find the answers.
[11:03] - You need to do the work, read the books, find the information, take the courses, and do it all yourself. You can’t rely on someone else to give it to you.
[12:18] - Some people will not only complain about not knowing what to do, but will come up with lists of reasons why they can’t do it.
[14:17] - Being a people pleaser is actually a form of control.
[16:02] - We’re married to our story. We’re married to the excuses. What if we decided to propose to the answers?
[19:54] - We don’t know what we don’t know.
[21:08] - Are you willing to become the student?
[24:51] - Things will change for you when you realize you are the director of your own theater.
[27:23] - No one is coming to save you. You are your own hero.
[32:26] - There’s a difference between rest and weakness.
[34:03] - Functional freeze is when you are able to function, but inside you are stuck.
[37”25] - Are you going to heed the advice?
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

When you look out at others, where does it come from? 
Does it come from safety and truth? 
Or are you needing and wanting to confirm some sort of story you’ve made up?
In this episode, Jill explores the reasons behind our need to see other people and make up a story about their successes and compare them to our own insecurities.
 
Show Notes: [9:58] - Some of us are in bondage to these made-up stories.
[11:47] - Why is our knee-jerk reaction to focus on the things that other people seem to be doing better, but when we look at ourselves, we focus on the negative?
[13:44] - We play a comparison game because we focus outward.
[16:24] - When you’re focusing externally to find meaning, that’s the pitfall.
[17:49] - Why are you looking outward?
[21:13] - If your “come from” is safety and security, you won’t feel threatened.
[22:58] - There are things you simply won’t know about someone else by looking at them.
[26:06] - We find ourselves looking at other people and we’re thinking that they’re doing things better because deep down we still feel like we are not enough.
[28:29] - If it is coming through the lens of love, we won’t make anything up or add anything to the picture. We won’t make it mean anything about ourselves.
[31:02] - Everybody does this. But is it all-consuming?
[33:03] - Consider who you are looking at and how you are making a made-up story mean something about your own life.
[34:32] - It all boils down to outsourcing our worth.
[36:30] - We avoid being still and quiet to face insecurities. It's easier to look outward.
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

With over 25 years of experience in education, Kelly has taught some form of personal growth to individuals from preschool to graduate school and beyond. His early training in drama therapy, non-violent communication, and childhood development combine with his more recent experiences in parenting, personal development and leadership training to create a unique approach to helping individuals grow their most loving relationships.
 
Show Notes: [1:56] - This conversation goes in many different directions and you’ll learn a lot about yourself.
[6:04] - Kelly shares a bit about his background and the foundational experiences that shaped him.
[9:08] - Kelly began working with men, particularly about developing healthy relationships.
[10:56] - What is Drama Therapy and how can this approach guide people through self-discovery and expression?
[16:00] - Jill shares the experience of watching a movie that moved her to identifying and expressing something that was heavy to her.
[19:05] - Kelly became involved in this work early in his life, but continues to learn more and more.
[21:46] - What is the difference between a caregiver and a caretaker?
[24:07] - What are things that show up for you that appear good, but are not what they appear?
[28:17] - Kelly explains how he discovered that he was pointing his finger at someone else.
[30:02] - Women coming together and being vulnerable is built into society. But men in community are socialized in a world where that is not normalized.
[33:50] - What things don’t you want other people to know about you?
[36:40] - Kelly’s societal expectation was to create and provide safety, but what value do men have when they fear they can’t keep it together?
[40:24] - We need authentic masculinity, but that’s not just a man’s job.
[42:57] - The antagonist is a reflection of the externalized version of the protagonist’s internal drama.
[45:25] - You can only see so much through your own ego. You might not be able to do this alone.
[47:57] - Kelly shares the story of a man he has worked with that experienced profound healing in building relationships.
[53:38] - It’s not building up strength and hardness that allows you to let go. It’s softening.
[54:50] - The things that bring you success are oftentimes the things that hold you back, especially when it comes to relationships.
[57:38] - Kelly explains compassionate communication.
[60:36] - Some communication is just taking your judgments and squeezing them into a form that you think would be more easily accepted. But it's still judgment.
[63:08] - We can’t argue with feelings.
[65:44] - Every communication is seeking something that needs to be met.
[68:03] - Sometimes, we truly want conflict.
[70:01] - Jill admits something about how she communicates with her husband sometimes and Kelly suggests it is about wanting to be invited.
[75:03] - Identify why you are going into a conversation and the core need you are seeking to be met.
[76:55] - The majority of conflicts in a relationship stem from both parties needing to be heard and seen.
[79:05] - There are programs online that can help provide community.
 
I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is. Thank you for being here today with me on our healing journeys.
 
Connect with Kelly: Kelly Gardner Coaching Website
@iamkellygardner on Instagram

In this solo episode, Jill catches the listeners up on some recent developments in her life while weaving in some bread crumbs of wisdom, no BS guidance with a splash of coaching. 
You will have a good laugh when she talks about purchasing a Yoni steamer, and you’ll feel inspired when she explains how she finally conquered her battle with exercise and shows you how you can do the same. 
She shares the antidote to comparison, gives you a pep talk to help you break up with perfection, and gives you an invitation to come hang out with her this fall.
 
Show Notes: [3:36] - Who is Jill actually? Not who people are telling her to be.
[4:42] - Over time, Jill has thought about putting the podcast aside and doing something else.
[8:09] - Jill is working on a book and shares what plans she thinks she has, even though she knows that it’s a challenge to know what will actually happen.
[12:05] - Jill shares an experience when she spoke to a psychic a few years ago.
[15:46] - After some health updates, Jill made some changes.
[20:06] - If you are over 40 years old, start learning about menopause.
[23:03] - Jill has cracked the code to having a good relationship with exercise and physical movement.
[24:53] - She’s not following a strict regimen.
[29:17] - “Crushing it” does not need to mean perfection.
[31:14] - She’s not seeing physical results, but she’s feeling emotional, internal, and spiritual results.
[36:01] - Listen for some updates on upcoming podcast episodes and interviews.
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.