Work Mom Says®, Don't Be An Idiot‪!‬ Work Mom Says®

Are you a chronic people pleaser? Is it hard for you to say no at work? This episode is for you! Join Work Mom Lori Jo Vest as she shares her advice for saying no at work.





Themes discussed in this episode




The importance of setting and holding your boundaries



Why it can be SO hard to say no



What to do and consider before you say no



Reasons to always say no



The softening the no formula



Never be resentful when you must say yes




Episode Highlights



Timestamped inflection points from the show



1:00 – Boundaries matter: You are responsible for setting and holding firm to your own boundaries. Decide how you want to live your life and draw your work boundaries accordingly; otherwise, you will likely be miserable.6:00 – Saying no is hard: If you’re a chronic people-pleaser, tend to be self-sacrificing, or work in a command-and-control type of company, it can be difficult to say no, but your boundaries are always important to uphold no matter the pushback.10:00—Considerations before saying no: Before saying no, ask yourself strategically if you should say yes. Is the request annoying, or do you not like the way you were asked? Is there a benefit to saying yes instead? Are you compromising your personal time?13:00 – Reasons why you can ALWAYS say no: If you’re too busy, have a personal commitment, or are asked to do something inappropriate or immoral, these are always good reasons to say no.20:00 – The Saying No Formula: The formula for softening a no is a positive intro (I really wish I could), a reason (I’m slammed), and a suggestion (can we do this instead?).23:00 – When you can’t say no: Sometimes you can’t say no, so do what needs to be done with grace, and don’t do it resentfully.



Top Quotes



2:00 – Even if someone gets irritated or tries to push on those boundaries, it’s your responsibility to be mindful and pay attention to your own beliefs and values and be honest about what you can and can’t do, even if it hurts someone’s feelings or makes them a little upset.5:40 – If you don’t like what’s happening at the company and you really feel like you’re also not able to hold your boundaries, consider finding a new environment to work in. Consider finding a place that’s more culturally relevant to you so that you don’t feel like you have to constantly be pushing their boundaries or have them pushing yours.10:00 – When you find yourself struggling and you really don’t want to say no, take 30 seconds to think about it before you respond, because that’s really what’s going to help you make the best decision and just to, instead of just a decision.11:00 – Ask yourself strategically before you say no if you should in fact say yes. Is there a benefit to you for saying yes, like demonstrating your skills? If it’s a new type of project that maybe you’ve not done much work on before, if it will help you build a key relationship, consider putting the extra hours in and saying yes.14:30 – When you have to say no and you absolutely don’t have any ideas for someone else to help or another way to handle it, best thing you can say is I wish I could, but I just can’t make that work. And then shut up.18:00 – No, that’s not something I’m interested in doing. No, I’m not going there doing that or playing any part in that. Or no, I’m not comfortable with that at all. Those are all answers you can give when someone asks you to do something inappropriate.19:45 – Just because a request is annoying doesn’t mean it’s something that you should turn down.22:45 – If you tried to say no and that no was rejected and you just can’t say no, don’t go into the project resentfully because it will backfire and lead you to failure



Links




Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!




Transcript



0:00Hello everybody

Is it hard for you to accept constructive criticism without getting defensive? This episode is for you! Work Mom Lori Jo Vest shares her advice for handling feedback and criticism with grace.





Themes discussed in this episode




Try the eagle’s eye view perspective



Be mindful of how you receive feedback



Is it a hill worth dying on?



Learn lessons in the feedback



Own your failures AND successes




Episode Highlights



Timestamped inflection points from the show



2:00 – Eagle’s eye view: When you get negative feedback, pull way back and look at the situation from a wider perspective. Can you look at the feedback in a way that brings out a positive feeling? If you start doing this, you’ll create a pattern of behavior so you never get crabby about feedback.5:00 – Let it go: If it’s not a hill worth dying on (which it almost never is), it’s always better to let go of your ego, not fight the critique, and accept the feedback.5:45: How you receive feedback matters: Are you overly dramatic or sensitive? You WILL lose credibility with your team because they know it’ll become a fight if they offer any feedback.6:20 – Lessons: What lesson are you being taught when you’re critiqued? Whether you’re learning how to keep cool or that you’re not always right, you can learn tons of valuable lessons when you receive criticism.8:00 – The work isn’t yours: In a corporate environment, it’s essential to remember that the work you’re doing belongs to the company or client – not you. If you can keep that in mind, it’s easier to accept feedback and be collaborative.9:00 – Defensiveness never works: If you start getting defensive, take a quick break to calm yourself down. Defensiveness immediately creates barriers between you and the other person. Instead, take a breath so you can accept criticism with a calm mind.



Top Quotes



2:00 -You may have incredible talent and you may be doing a really, really great job. But the person that’s responsible for receiving your work has a different perspective than you do.2:20 – If you pull back on an eagle’s eye view of what’s being discussed, it’ll make it a whole lot easier to handle it and to manage it with grace. And what I mean when I say manage it with grace is by being the person that is steady, that doesn’t get knocked over by criticism or negative feedback, somebody who’s able to keep a nice emotional even keel.4:30 – Collaboration and accepting and incorporating other people’s points of view into your work is what builds relationships in the workplace.5:15 – Is the concern, the criticism, whatever’s being brought up, is it important enough to you that it would be an appropriate hill to die on? Most of the time, the answer to that question is no.6:00 – Learn to receive the lessons in the feedback, even if it’s just in keeping your cool and giving up some of your egoic feelings. What is the lesson? What are you being taught when you’re being confronted like that?10:00 – If you really want to get in someone’s good graces and create a strong relationship, ask them for feedback when the project is over. How did I do? Is there anything I could do to have managed this better, more efficiently and in a way that better serves the team.



Links



Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!



Transcript



0:00Hello, everybody. I’m Lori Jo Vest, and I’m so glad you chose to tune in to this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot.



Today, we are going to talk about how to handle feedback and criticism with grace. It is not easy. And as a young professional in the workplace, you will receive a lot of criticism and feedback, positive and negative. People will critique your work.



And one of the things that I say right off the bat here that I want you to remember is feedback is love. Feedback is what people provide to you as an opportuni

Hate networking? You’ve come to the right place! In the latest episode, join Work Mom Lori Jo Vest for a conversation with the Reluctant Networker Greg Peters. They discuss all the ways you can get the most out of networking for business, even if you’re a serious introvert.





Themes discussed in this episode




How Greg became the Reluctant Networker



Networking has become the family business



In-person vs online networking



3 components of networking



How to properly network online



How to properly network in person



Intergenerational networking is the best!



LinkedIn networking



Networking is about human connection




Featured Guest



Expert Guest: Greg Peter



Title: The Reluctant Networker



What He Does: Greg Peters coaches individuals, trains staff, and presents to associations and other groups on developing skills and systems to build better connections and stronger networks. 



Connect: You can find him on LinkedIn. Learn more on his website. Check out his book, Hello and a Handshake.



Episode Highlights



Timestamped inflection points from the show



5:00 – Reluctant Networker Origin Story: Greg built his web development business by becoming a successful networker. When he decided to change careers, a friend encouraged him to teach people how he grew his business! And the Reluctant Networker was born!6:00 – Family business: Greg’s primary role is speaking engagements, while his mom brings the training aspect.7:00 – In-person vs. online networking: Virtual networking allows you to connect with people all over the world, but we still lose a bit of that connection when we aren’t in person.9:30 – Partner Networking: If done correctly, partner networking is HIGHLY effective.11:00 – The 3 Components of Networking: 1. Know who you are and what you do. 2. Develop your relationships. 3. Be prepared when people want to help you19:00 – Online networking: When you’re put into networking breakout rooms, act like you’re the host. Others will be grateful that you took charge.22:00 – Networking in person: Have a specific goal when you walk in.28:00 – LinkedIn networking: You have to participate and engage. Limit the number of groups you’re in because you can only actively invest in three at the most. Otherwise, you’re not making quality connections.33:40 – Networking across generations: You don’t network with a group. You network with individuals. So even if they’re a different generation, social status, or gender, treat everyone like a fellow human being and it’ll be that much easier.



Top Quotes



5:00 – Lori: If you create a career for yourself and 20 years later decide you don’t want to do it anymore, it’s allowed. You can make a change.8:00 – Greg: That little bit of a connection loss is more than made up for by all the benefits we gain from being able to connect with people all over the world.10:00: Greg – A lot of people have this misconception that, okay, I’m going to show up with my friend Lori and the two of us are going to talk. But that’s not effective. If you’re going to do that, just go to a coffee shop. Don’t go to a networking event. You are there to support each other. And there are different techniques and strategies you can use. But at the very minimum, walking around together and then having one introduce the other, just makes things so much smoother.14:30—Greg: If we make it about us, the people we’re talking with will feel it. They’ll know they’re being sized up. But if you make it about them, about being of service to them, about developing that longer-term relationship, that’s where the strength of a network is. It’s in building those connections over time.16:00 – Lori: Don’t make people burn a lot of mental calories trying to figure out what you do and who you serve.17:00 – Greg: You might keep it as simple as, hey, I would

Do you have big professional or personal dreams that you don’t know how to make a reality? A mastermind group might be the answer to your problem. In the latest episode of Work Mom Says, join Work Mom Lori Jo Vest for a quick discussion about mastermind groups and all the success you can achieve when your network holds you accountable.









Themes discussed in this episode




What are mastermind groups



How mastermind groups have changed my life



Rules of Mastermind groups



How to find a mastermind group




Episode Highlights



Timestamped inflection points from the show



1:30 – What are mastermind groups? In mastermind groups, you surround yourself with like-minded people who are either at your level or above your level regarding business success. These groups hold you accountable and help you reach your goals.3:00 – How mastermind groups have changed my life: They helped me through a divorce, reconnect with my mother, write a book, and launch my company.4:00 – The rules of mastermind groups: To be the most effective, groups need rules like committing to coming to every meeting, no cross-talk, and keeping the group conversations private.8:30 – How to find a mastermind group: There are many ways to find mastermind groups.You can start your own group; search for free groups on Meetup, Eventbrite, or LinkedIn; or join paid groups like JB Glossinger’s Morning Coach group.



Top Quotes



2:45 – “One of my favorite projects and dreams I never thought I would achieve was writing a book. That first mastermind group inspired me to take that project all the way to the finish line.”4:30 – “There was no cross-talk. People say, don’t yuck on someone else’s yum. So we wouldn’t criticize what someone else was up to. We might ask questions to help them think more thoroughly about an idea or offer them support.”6:00 – “Everybody talks about what they want to commit to that day, personally, professionally, and then the mindset. You write it down. Then the next morning, you come back and report. How did you do the day before? And what are your personal and professional commitments and your mindset for that day?”9:00 – “They will amplify whatever you’re doing, escalate your career progression, and help you reach goals that you’ve never thought you would reach.



Links



Check out our LinkedIn episode for more ways to effectively grow your network and get that next opportunity.



Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!



Transcript



1:00Hello, everybody. I’m Lori Jo Vest, the host of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am going to be talking about masterminding. If you’re one of those goal-oriented people and trying to figure out how to get where you want to go and reach your highest, loftiest goals, masterminds are an amazing way to do it.



And if you’ve never heard of the concept, I would encourage you to look it up. It’s all over the internet, and people use it in both personal and business contexts. How I like to explain masterminds is you surround yourself with like-minded people who are either at your level or a little bit above your level when it comes to success in business, or maybe they’ve written a book or they’ve done some, you know, big, consequential thing that you really want to emulate and you feel really good about who they are as human beings, invite them to create a masterminds group with you.



2:00One of the best ways to do this is to reach out to people in your life who you know will support you in living your dreams. And that’s how I got involved. I had a friend, Sean Duparin, back in the day. Oh my gosh, I think it’s been 22 years now. I think my son was three years old.



She invited me into a mastermind group with a bunch of her friends, people who were really interested in living their best lives —some she knew well, so

In the first episode of 2024, join Work Mom Lori Jo Vest as she urges you to become 100% responsible for your career and your success. From the myth of job security to the importance of career cushioning and side hustles, she offers many ways to take full control of your career.









Themes discussed in this episode




There’s no such thing as job security



Entrepreneurship = most independence and job security



Don’t be afraid of the side hustle



The power of career cushioning



Don’t wait to take control of your career




Episode Highlights



Timestamped inflection points from the show



4:00 – Job security doesn’t exist: When you’re working for someone else, you are always at risk of losing a job.7:00 – Entrepreneurship = independence: Working for yourself gives you the most independence and the most control over your career.9:00 – Don’t be afraid of the side hustle: Side hustles can be a second revenue stream, expand your skill set, and even turn into your full-time career!11:30 – Career cushioning: Make sure your LinkedIn, resume, and portfolio are always up to date, so you can be ready if something happens.12:30 – Don’t wait: If you want to launch a side hustle or monetize a hobby, start now! It can only help you grow your skills the earlier you start



Top Quotes



4:45 – I had thought that I had job security. It was a huge lesson in the fact that there really is no such thing. Anything can happen at any time. A business can lose a client. Somebody can die. Somebody can leave the company, your boss can decide to move on to a new position, and the person replacing them doesn’t like you so much. Things happen.6:00 – All those secure positions were not secure at all. And there really wasn’t a secure position unless I made it myself, unless I created it unless I owned the opportunity, I wouldn’t be able to have true independence.7:40 – If you want true independence, building your own is… the most rewarding and the most responsible way to do it. You have the most control over your career situation when you’re an entrepreneur.9:00 – I highly recommend side hustles. They give you a side revenue stream. So if something happens and you get laid off, you have some money to pay your bills. There are a lot of things you can do on the side to make money.10:45 – If you were to do a side hustle, what would you enjoy doing? What hobbies could you monetize? What skills do you want to develop?13:00 – The worst of all the best possible outcomes is that maybe you get a raise at your current position or you get promoted because your skills are higher. You’re more enthusiastic. You are learning things faster, and you’re more committed to your career14:00 – You are 100% responsible for what happens. How you respond is what determines what happens. And you are in control. Don’t ever forget it. It might not feel that way. Keep trying that on and eventually it will feel very comfortable because you are in control of your career.



Links



Check out our LinkedIn episode for more ways to effectively grow your network and get that next opportunity.



Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!



Transcript



[1:00]Hello, and thank you for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says Don’t Be an Idiot. I’m Lori Jo Vest, your host and work mom. I want to talk today about your independence and also the responsibility that comes with that independence. And I’ll start with telling you about a book that I read, oh, probably 20 years ago.



Jack Canfield has a book about creating your life. And one of the things that he says very early on is that you are 100% responsible for whatever happens in your life. And I remember reading that and going, no, I’m not 100% responsible.This person did that and that person did this and this person did this and all these things happened.



[2:00]Well, you can

Are you a recent college graduate interested in starting your career with your best foot forward? Do you have a few years of experience and are looking for tips on getting that next big promotion? Either way, this episode is for you!



Carolyn Sauer, Director of Business Development at Schaltbau GmbH, joins Work Mom to discuss her 10 guiding principles for jumpstarting your career and standing out as an asset at work. From the importance of timely and accurate work to being a great, empathetic communicator and becoming a valuable asset to your team, we cover a ton of ground.









Themes discussed in this episode




Early in your career, your job is to make your boss’ job easier



If your work is accurate AND timely, you’re already way ahead of your peers



Accountability, proactiveness, and resourcefulness = Carolyn’s top 3 traits in new hires



Strong communication skills, empathy, and team-focused behavior go a long way



Those who add value to the company get promotions




Featured Guest



Expert Guest: Carolyn Sauer



Title: Director of Business Development at Schaltbau GmbH



What She Does: As Director of Business Development, Carolyn Sauer leads Marketing and Communications strategy development and works with customers and prospects to help solve their high-voltage challenges.



Connect: You can find her on LinkedIn.



Episode Highlights



Timestamped inflection points from the show



5:15 – How can I make my boss’ life easier: Your job is 50% your listed job responsibilities and 50% doing anything you can to help free up your boss’ time.7:00 – Accuracy and timeliness go hand in hand: If your work is on time but it’s full of errors that someone else must fix, it’s not actually on time.11:30 – Carolyn’s top traits in new hires: If you are accountable, resourceful, and proactive, you will be an easily trainable asset to any team.14:40 – Email syndrome: You have to be empathetic, a strong communicator, and team-focused in order to truly excel at work.20:00 – Value Added: Want to get promoted? You have to be a valuable asset who is tenacious, empathetic, and a creative problem solver. You must add value to the company in order to last and move up the career ladder.



Top Quotes



5:10 – What I noticed is, I mean, you’ve heard the old adage, common sense isn’t so common, is that a lot of people, even if they’ve been in their careers for maybe 10 or 20 years, may not really truly understand why these specific things are so critical because no one told them.6:30 – I have my job description, but that’s part of what I do. The rest is how do I help? What do you need me to do? Where can I pitch in? You know, when you see a team is very busy planning for a presentation or an event, maybe you don’t have experience with it, but you still want to ask, how can I help?7:50 – Early in my career as a manager, I cannot tell you the number of times I had projects or presentations turned into me at the very last minute they were due. They were on time. But then there were mistakes and there were errors that needed to be fixed. And so if it’s not accurate, it’s not on time.9:30 – I am not your teacher. I am your manager. Hopefully your coach. Hopefully your mentor. I’m not your teacher. I don’t want to receive something back from you, red line it. and give it back and try it again. That’s not how the business world operates. If I had time to do that, I would have time to do it myself, and I don’t; that’s why I hired you.11:20 – No matter what position I’m hiring for, I look for someone who can be accountable, proactive and resourceful. If you have those three things, I can train you on anything else.16:45 – Being a nice, pleasant nudge is an incredibly valuable part of the communication process, especially early in your career when it’s your responsibility to get something