Wine, Dine, and 69 Rachel Dalton

Rachel follows up on the last episode and talks a bit about learning and attachment styles before introducing her guest, Trevor Justice of “Attract Love and Respect”. Trevor talks with Rachel about anxious attachment and people pleasing tendencies - how to notice anxious attachment in yourself, how to cope with uncertainty, and how to work towards becoming more secure in your relationship(s). 



Episode Notes:



Conversation with Trevor begins at 00:12:06.



Follow Trevor:

Website: : https://attractloveandrespect.com/

Download the free book (and audiobook): https://get.attractloveandrespect.com/change-who-you-attract

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/attractloveandrespect/reviews 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attractloveandrespect/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXV5pvueThBwNOn2mITIVKw 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attractloveandrespect 



Mentioned in this episode: 

Attachment Style Quiz: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ 

Heidi Priebe YouTube video, “How Insecure Attachment Keeps Us Attracted To People Who Are Wrong For Us (& How To Break The Cycle)”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHrImgzzphY&list=PLhFOC1XMwCl8QxjTTAAM5Lao7qTNbyqWr&index=13 

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Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine69pod@gmail.com!

Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers).

Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann. 

Your host, Rachel, is the storyteller this week…she finally shares  what has been going on in her C-PTSD journey, the past, healing, and changes for the podcast going forward. 



CW: sexual assault, abusive relationships, C-PTSD, PMDD



Episode Notes:

"InkBlot with Manan" Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4HpnU3vJ6qM6tlAQVv3rSQ

EMDR: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing 

CODA (Apple TV): https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/coda/umc.cmc.3eh9r5iz32ggdm4ccvw5igiir 

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Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine69pod@gmail.com!

Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers).

Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann. 

Rachel chats about Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn, and provides caution to fans leading up to the release of Taylor’s new album. Let’s not jump to conclusions and make assumptions, ok? Then, she is joined by Cindy Scharkey, a licensed nurse and sex educator! They talk all about the vagina: anatomy, the G-spot, female ejaculation vs. squirting, methods for enhancing female pleasure during penetration, and more!



Episode Notes:

“You can cultivate a pleasurable sex life through ALL the seasons of your life” -Cindy



Conversation with Cindy  begins at 00:13:58.



Follow Cindy:


Website: https://www.cindyscharkey.com/ 


“Permission for Pleasure” podcast: https://www.cindyscharkey.com/podcast 


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cindyscharkey/ 


TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cindyscharkey 


Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/scharkeycindy/


Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/cindyscharkey/ 


Email: cindy@cindyscharkey.com

Article Discussed in Intro: BuzzFeed News, “Taylor Swift Fell In Love With Joe Alwyn Because He Didn’t Care About Her Superstardom, So He Shouldn't Be Punished For It 7 Years Later”, by Stephanie Soteriou (February 8, 2024): https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniesoteriou/taylor-swift-joe-alwyn-shouldnt-be-punished 



Discussed in this Episode: 


OMG, YES: https://start.omgyes.com/join 


OMG, YES Study Mentioned: The Journal of Sex Research, “"OMG, Yes!": Feasibility, Acceptability, and Preliminary Efficacy of an Online Intervention for Female Sexual Pleasure” by Hensel, et al. (2022): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34176390/ 


4 penetrative techniques to enhance female pleasure:




Pairing


Shallowing


Rocking 


Angeling




The Coital Alignment Technique: MasterClass, “Coital Alignment Technique: 4 Tips for the CAT Sex Position”   by MasterClass (2022):   https://www.masterclass.com/articles/coital-alignment-technique 


Kegels: WebMD, “Kegels - Should I Do Them?”  By WebMD Editorial Contributors (2022): https://www.webmd.com/women/kegels-should-i-do-them 


Pelvic Floor Therapy: Jefferson Health, “Unlocking the 5 Benefits of Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy” , by Anna Batt (2023): https://www.jeffersonhealth.org/your-health/living-well/unlocking-the-5-benefits-of-pelvic-floor-physical-therapy 


Female Ejaculation vs Squirting: Journal of Clinical Anatomy, “Female ejaculation and squirting as similar but completely different phenomena: A narrative review of current research” by Pastor and Chmel (2022):  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35388532/ 


G Spot: AASECT, “What You Need to Know About…The G-Spot” by Steph Auteri (2014): https://www.aasect.org/what-you-need-know-about-g-spot-0 


How your body/pleasure changes through the menstrual cycle: Clue,  “Sex, Sensation, and the Menstrual Cycle” by Anna Druet (2017): https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/sex-sensation-menstrual-cycle


Hello Playground: https://helloplayground.com/ 



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Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine69pod@gmail.com!

Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers).Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann.

Earthquakes, eclipses, epiphanies, oh my! Rachel talks about recent shakeups and shares some Gone Girl wisdom about the proverbial “cool girl” before jumping into her conversation with Keshia about combating  feminine myths, setting boundaries, and dating authentically to find your perfect partnership. 



Episode Notes:



“It is so ingrained in us to be dependent on others. It is so ingrained in us to seek validation and to feel like the only way we can survive is to make others happy. And yes - in some cases that is a great recipe for survival. But it’s not a great recipe for thriving.” - Keshia Rice



Conversation with Keshia begins at 00:11:48.



Follow Keshia:

Website: http://www.keshiarice.com/ 

Confidently Cherished Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sXncAFEYXGWLvRmd8spOD 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keshiarice/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheKeshiaRice/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@keshiarice 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/keshiarice 



Mentioned in the episode: 

No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering, by Thich Nhat Hanh (2014): https://www.amazon.com/No-Mud-Lotus-Transforming-Suffering/dp/1937006859 

The Atlantic, “The Real-World Consequences of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl Cliché”, by ⁠Hugo Schwyzer⁠ (2013): ⁠https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/07/the-real-world-consequences-of-the-manic-pixie-dream-girl-clich-233/277645/⁠ Salon, “How the Scathing "Gone Girl" Rant About Being the "Cool Girl" Defined the Decade”, by Mary Elizabeth Williams (2019): ⁠https://www.salon.com/2019/12/26/how-the-scathing-gone-girl-rant-about-being-the-cool-girl-defined-the-decade/⁠

Brene Brown, “Marriage is Never 50/50” clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfL4RTuC9Bk 

The full “Unlocking Us With Brene Brown” podcast episode: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-comparative-suffering-the-50-50-myth-and-settling-the-ball/ 

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Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine69pod@gmail.com!

Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers).

Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann. 

Rachel ponders how we, as humans, change over the course of a life. She talks about changing attachment styles, the love languages, then chats a bit about the viral “Who the Fuck Did I Marry” tik tok saga. She then welcomes erotica writer Ruan Willow and the two discuss the differences between porn and erotica, how to write erotica, audio erotica, and more!



Episode Notes:

Conversation with Ruan begins at 00:15:24.



Follow Ruan Willow: 

Website: https://ruanwillowauthor.com/ 

Oh F*ck Yeah Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1rmfiA8FVPG766ouQ9P3QG 

I Dare You Released March 9: https://www.amazon.com/Dare-You-Saturday-Challenge-Play-ebook/dp/B0CST8K18R 

Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Ruan-Willow/author/B08ZYW6B3K

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ruanwillow/?hl=en 

Medium: https://medium.com/@ruanwillow 

Goodreads: https://medium.com/@ruanwillow 

Substack: https://ruanwillow.substack.com/ 

FrolicMe: https://www.frolicmep[dot]com/erotic-authors/ruan-willow/ 



Discussed in this episode:

Taylor Tomlinson love languages: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gmK_ei4NlU 

Reesa Teesa on Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@reesamteesa?lang=en 

Full “Who the Fuck Did I Marry?” story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC1dKx6maZ4 

Gilbert Godfrey reads 50 Shades of Grey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkLqAlIETkA

Shayla Black: https://www.shaylablack.com/

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Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine69pod@gmail.com!

Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers).

Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann. 

Promo image used with permission by Ruan Willow.

Rachel talks about how imposter’s syndrome and perfectionism play into one another and shares some musings about non-monogamy.  She is then joined by Jess, who shares her own journey to non-monogamy and all that she has learned along the way. The two of them discuss terminology, rules vs boundaries vs relationship agreements, dealing with jealousy, and so much more!



Episode Notes:

Conversation with Jess begins at 00:10:45.



Follow Jess: 

Website: www.bothandcoaching.com

Instagram: IG: https://www.instagram.com/nonmonogamous_newbies/

Facebook Group “nonmonogamy newbies”www.facebook.com/groups/nonmonogamousnewbies

Programs: Non-Monogamy Newbies (https://bothandcoaching.com/nonmonogamousnewbies) and Conversation Compass https://bothandcoaching.com/the-conversation-compass 



Discussed in this episode: 

Relationship Agreements: A Simple and Effective Guide for Strengthening Communication, Reducing Conflict, and Increasing Intimacy to Design Your Ideal Relationship, by Eri Kardos (2016): ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Relationship-Agreements-Strengthening-Communication-Increasing/dp/1540338487⁠ 

Rachel Wright: https://rachelwrightnyc.com/ 

Medium, “Why you should drop the ‘e’ in ethical non-monogamy” by Claire Louise Travers: https://clairelouisetravers.medium.com/why-you-should-drop-the-e-in-ethical-non-monogamy-32069e129df1 

Decolonizing Love: https://www.instagram.com/decolonizing.love/

Sister Wives: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1721666/ 

What is a metamour?: https://www.polyamproud.com/post/learn-about-polyamory-what-is-a-metamour 

What is kitchen table polyamory?: https://www.modernintimacy.com/what-is-kitchen-table-polyamory/ 

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Let’s keep talking! Have a question or idea for a topic? Email winedine69pod@gmail.com!

Podcast artwork by Yogesh Nankar (Design by Dreamers).

Intro and Outro music by John Bartmann.