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Send in the clowns! Yes, Virginia, Criminal Minds did a fucking clown episode, and it's spectacular. Or stupid. One of those. A clown is killing men and leaving the kids alone, reversing the Pennywise paradigm popularized in Stephen King's child pornography book. What results is a cautionary tale about the death of the American Dream as it pertains to clowning. "The Capilanos" is a load of Italian nonsense, 40 minutes of two brothers who have to resort to crime because they've been blacklisted from the world of carnivals, circuses, rodeos and birthday parties. Matthew Gray Gubler directs, because why wouldn't he. Ronnie and Jazz try to make sense of it all as the countdown to Season 17 trudges on.

Gubler Month continues with "Alchemy", a not very subtle episode that depicts different kinds of grief. One kind kills men in some ill-fated fertility experiment. The other involves dancing inside your own mind.

This week: child abduction! Sparkle Motion from Donnie Darko and Bud Cort take kids from carnivals and do...something to them. Not what you think, though! Also: Ann Cusack overcomes  a drinking problem and Morgan acts like a dick. "Mosley Lane", everyone! Directed by the Gube himself.

In "Cradle to Grave", some guy is forcing women to bear his child in a sexual dungeon. Just as important is Hotch training Morgan to take his job now that he's too Reaper-spooked to do it effectively. Season 5, y'all.

In "The Replicator", the Replicator finally stands revealed. Is it disappointing? You better BELIEVE IT.

This week Hotch has to bail his shitbag brother out of trouble as he's involved in some tainted wine scandal. Look, the only reason we're doing "Brothers Hotchner" is it leads directly into the Season 8 finale that botches the Replicator overarching storyline. Get ready for a lot of eye bleeding.