55 min
Toxic Relationships: Breaking the Cycle and Finding Healing with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis Kare With Korac
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- Mental Health
Dr. Stephanie Sarkis is a psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in ADHD, anxiety, & narcissistic abuse. She is a bestselling author and an American Mental Health Counselors Association Diplomate and Clinical Mental Health Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling – one of only 20 in the U.S. She is a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family and Circuit Civil Mediator. Dr. Sarkis is also a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a National Certified Counselor. She is a senior contributor to Forbes, and is also a contributor to Psychology Today. Dr. Sarkis has a PhD, EdS, and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida. She maintains a private practice in Tampa, Florida, where she provides telehealth sessions and facilitates collaborative divorce. Dr. Sarkis received an Outstanding Dissertation Award from the American Psychological Association for her research on comorbid ADHD and the executive functions of the brain in a pediatric population.
In this episode, Dr. Sarkis and I discuss what can make up toxic relationships, including topics like emotional abuse, gaslighting, and trauma bonding. We take a look at additional topics including the cycle of idealization, devaluing, and discard; love bombing, recognizing red flags, insecure attachment styles, the sunk cost fallacy, and challenges in leaving toxic relationships. We also addresses what it can look like to move on, seeking support through counseling, self-care, volunteering, therapy for family of origin issues, codependency, cultural differences, caretaking for abusive parents, and the importance of processing emotions, concluding with a message of hope for those who have experienced toxic relationships.
Takeaways
The cycle of idealization, devaluing, and discard is common in toxic relationships.
Love bombing and grand gestures can be signs of manipulation and control.
Individuals with insecure attachment styles may be more vulnerable to toxic relationships.
Leaving toxic relationships can be challenging due to the sunk cost fallacy. Seek support services, such as counseling, after ending a toxic relationship.
Practice self-care and prioritize your health and well-being.
Consider volunteering as a means of healing and reconnecting with the community.
Therapy can be instrumental in healing and addressing family of origin issues.
Understand the concept of codependency and its cultural implications.
Allow yourself to feel and process emotions as part of the healing process.
Remember that there is hope for healing and building healthy relationships.
Chapters
02:58 Dr. Sarkis' Background and Specialization in Toxic Relationships
04:13 Emotional Abuse and Trauma Bonding
05:21 Cycle of Idealization, Devaluing, and Discard
06:27 Love Bombing and Grand Gestures
07:14 Gaslighting and Manipulation
08:06 Financial and Economic Abuse
09:14 Trauma Bonding and Dopamine Boosts
10:07 Honeymoon Phase and Love Bombing
11:01 Discard Phase and Hoovering
12:16 Lack of Personal Accountability
13:48 No Contact or Low Contact
14:47 Differentiating Love Bombing from Romantic Gestures
15:12 Red Flags in Relationships
22:52 Treating Wait Staff and Family
23:43 Splitting and Comparisons
25:05 Intermittent Reinforcement and Healthy Relationships
27:02 Isolation and Threats
31:17 Insecure Attachment Styles and Leaving Toxic Relationships
32:06 Sunk Cost Fallacy
32:11 Moving on from a Toxic Relationship
33:37 Practical Steps After Ending a Toxic Relationship
36:37 Volunteering as a Means of Healing
37:43 The Role of Therapy in Healing
38:21 Taking a Break from Dating
40:24 The Importance of Self-Care and Sleep
41:16 Reconnecting with Healthy Relationships
42:33 Understanding Codependency
44:12 Considering the Perpetrator's Behavior
46:00 The Influence of Culture on Codependency
50:20 The Dilemma of Caretaking for Abusive Parents
52:06 The Importance of Feeling and Processing Emotions
53:30 Words of Wisdom: Th
Dr. Stephanie Sarkis is a psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in ADHD, anxiety, & narcissistic abuse. She is a bestselling author and an American Mental Health Counselors Association Diplomate and Clinical Mental Health Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling – one of only 20 in the U.S. She is a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family and Circuit Civil Mediator. Dr. Sarkis is also a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a National Certified Counselor. She is a senior contributor to Forbes, and is also a contributor to Psychology Today. Dr. Sarkis has a PhD, EdS, and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida. She maintains a private practice in Tampa, Florida, where she provides telehealth sessions and facilitates collaborative divorce. Dr. Sarkis received an Outstanding Dissertation Award from the American Psychological Association for her research on comorbid ADHD and the executive functions of the brain in a pediatric population.
In this episode, Dr. Sarkis and I discuss what can make up toxic relationships, including topics like emotional abuse, gaslighting, and trauma bonding. We take a look at additional topics including the cycle of idealization, devaluing, and discard; love bombing, recognizing red flags, insecure attachment styles, the sunk cost fallacy, and challenges in leaving toxic relationships. We also addresses what it can look like to move on, seeking support through counseling, self-care, volunteering, therapy for family of origin issues, codependency, cultural differences, caretaking for abusive parents, and the importance of processing emotions, concluding with a message of hope for those who have experienced toxic relationships.
Takeaways
The cycle of idealization, devaluing, and discard is common in toxic relationships.
Love bombing and grand gestures can be signs of manipulation and control.
Individuals with insecure attachment styles may be more vulnerable to toxic relationships.
Leaving toxic relationships can be challenging due to the sunk cost fallacy. Seek support services, such as counseling, after ending a toxic relationship.
Practice self-care and prioritize your health and well-being.
Consider volunteering as a means of healing and reconnecting with the community.
Therapy can be instrumental in healing and addressing family of origin issues.
Understand the concept of codependency and its cultural implications.
Allow yourself to feel and process emotions as part of the healing process.
Remember that there is hope for healing and building healthy relationships.
Chapters
02:58 Dr. Sarkis' Background and Specialization in Toxic Relationships
04:13 Emotional Abuse and Trauma Bonding
05:21 Cycle of Idealization, Devaluing, and Discard
06:27 Love Bombing and Grand Gestures
07:14 Gaslighting and Manipulation
08:06 Financial and Economic Abuse
09:14 Trauma Bonding and Dopamine Boosts
10:07 Honeymoon Phase and Love Bombing
11:01 Discard Phase and Hoovering
12:16 Lack of Personal Accountability
13:48 No Contact or Low Contact
14:47 Differentiating Love Bombing from Romantic Gestures
15:12 Red Flags in Relationships
22:52 Treating Wait Staff and Family
23:43 Splitting and Comparisons
25:05 Intermittent Reinforcement and Healthy Relationships
27:02 Isolation and Threats
31:17 Insecure Attachment Styles and Leaving Toxic Relationships
32:06 Sunk Cost Fallacy
32:11 Moving on from a Toxic Relationship
33:37 Practical Steps After Ending a Toxic Relationship
36:37 Volunteering as a Means of Healing
37:43 The Role of Therapy in Healing
38:21 Taking a Break from Dating
40:24 The Importance of Self-Care and Sleep
41:16 Reconnecting with Healthy Relationships
42:33 Understanding Codependency
44:12 Considering the Perpetrator's Behavior
46:00 The Influence of Culture on Codependency
50:20 The Dilemma of Caretaking for Abusive Parents
52:06 The Importance of Feeling and Processing Emotions
53:30 Words of Wisdom: Th
55 min