| L E G E N D S . ‪|‬ Dillon Francis

YES.

Oh yes indeed.

It must be something about this beast inside—
Even my first boyfriend—
My first real boyfriend.

Was—

Seriously?

Incredibly gifted.

Jesus Christ.

Right.

Jesus fucking Christ.

(That can happen.)

Well.

Well.

I've—

Wait a second.

How would you even write something like this.

My dissuasion from black men has never prevented me from being pleasured by—

Oh no.

Some of the world's finest dicks.

How's that.

Perfect.

I can't even,

(But just did)

“9 inch pie crust

How's “9 inches?

That'll work.

Just don't dislodge my IUD.

Dammit.

Really less than 9?

I mean—
I'll take

A 6
Yes!

Really?

Or a 7

Nice.

But only to play with.

What.

Ok.

What! I'm not keepin it.

I just like sucking dick.

Really?

Yes.

AHA,

—the right dick.

Well, well, well—

And if the last bitch left her stink on you—

Even if you wash it 6 fucking times—

I'll smell it in my eyelids.

What.

Your aura sucks.

What. Why.

I don't like her.

What?! Who?!

The last one.

Vibe check.

Man, you gotta stop fuckin these white bitches

White bitches:
LalalalalLalalalala
Lalalalal

No.

What?! Why?!

She sucks, bro.

Yeah but

Comfort, luxury, style—
Utility.
You can take this girl anywhere

Just shapeshift into a basic white bitch
For what
Just do it

Those are the ones that're around!

These rich ass fuckin hoes.

EASY.

What.

White girl wasted.

Have another shot.

Ooh, dad bod.

Yes.

SUNNI BLU

You thought I forgot

I did not

DADBOD.

Mmm.



Yes but also

NO, JAKE GYLLENHALL

PUT YOUR WEDDING BAND BACK ON

BUT-/

WE ARE FINISHED.
DONE.

YESSSSSS. I'm off the CLOCK.

Look, marriage is work. However—

DEEZ HOEZ GOT BALLZ

FUCK.

Nasty ass trick.

BODIES. BODIES BODIES.

What is all this fucking hotness even for if you can't work those fuckin muscles— what do they call them?

“Intercostals”

Yo— your intercostals are not the fuck muscles

Wait, they're not?
No.
Aw.
But you can use them to fuck if you want

Where's that one nigga at?!

[Skrillex]

Under some blonde slut

SLUTZ.

Nice.

Fine.

Wait.

What.

You really want that?!



Vibe check.

Vampires:

He was such a nice kid

Feeding time.

SUCKED HIM DRY

DEAD ON.

Man, I kind of want to watch that one movie where—

It was a box office flop.

Monsters;

Ohh. A weak one.

BREAK THE SEAL. BREAK THE SEAL.

You can shapeshift into a s—

Okay, listen, I am NOT going back To The Rock for any reason.

Just—- be ugly.

I am ugly.

You really think I'm trying to

ILLUMINATI:

Watch this.

DOLLARS.

WHAT. RYAN REYNOLDS
FUCK YOU.

GET OFF MY ISLAND!

I'm a DAD.

Where's the bathroom?

SLUTZ
MODELS
ACTRESSES:

see. These bitchez is interchangeable.

I love that.

Look, you walk into one of these events with anything darker than a paper bag—

Well, It depends on who manufactured the brown paper bag…

[Whole Foods Market]

Still too dark.

—She had better be the most perfect looking broad anyone could ever want.

Where's the bra straps?

You want bra straps?

Uh, yeah?!

Oh
*snickers*
Sorry.

Look, I don't want to even think about that scene where—

FUCK YOU, DILLON FRANCIS
FUCK YOU IN THE ASS.

DILLON FRANCIS

oh damn. That kid did look like Dillon Francis. Like a lot.

GET BACK HERE.

I liked him.

Did you tell him that?

No way. After that John dude broke my heart.

DO YOU REMEMBER ME?! I'M A BIRD.

Someone find Tim.

Agh.

Whatever.

Find that Smith kid I went to high school with.

For what?

I wanna bone him.

Goddamn, Madame President.

Shut up.

Damn, so.

So the president basically has an errand boy to go round up all the dick she missed out on being groomed to be the first

Black female president?

Yes.

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

“The Defendant” (Instrumental)
I_ NY (2024)
Prod. by Blū Tha Gurü
BMG Recordings | The Complex Collective ©
Blū Music Group, LLC DBA The Festival Project, Inc.

{Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©
-Ū.

“Caddyshack”
(A Mumtidimentional Mixtape)
{Enter The Multiverse}

From Wikipedia:

Caddyshack is a 1980 American sportscomedy film directed by Harold Ramis, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Ramis and Douglas Kenney, and starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe and Bill Murray with supporting roles by Sarah Holcomb, Cindy Morgan, and Doyle-Murray. It tells the story of a caddie, vying for a caddie scholarship, who becomes involved in a feud on the links between one of the country club's founders and a nouveau riche guest. A subplot involves a greenskeeper who uses extreme methods against an elusive gopher.

Caddyshack was Ramis's directorial debut and boosted the career of Dangerfield, who was previously known mostly for his stand-up comedy. Grossing nearly $40 million at the domestic box office (the 17th-highest of the year),[3] it was the first of a series of similar comedies.
The film has a cult following and was described by ESPN as "perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made"

SAUCE

(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT)

—-

AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN.

OH SHIT!

Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy.

Oh nooo.

Oh, yes.

Look at this penny.

I see you.

Now look into my eyes.

I see you, Jesus.

Ahahaha!

Okay, now what?

This shit is twisted
I missed the shift of the dimensions—
Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies
For some cigarettes and swishers,
Just to get the picture
It's 5 AM again,
And it's still Infinite,
I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA,
Or just living, period—
But it is what it is,
I work for my rent,
I've repented for this,
Used to sleep in a tent,
But when I was an Infant,
I instantly—

Wait, a customer walked in.
I better help him.

Heaven help him.
Another level,
Call dr. Nevel,
Or an Ambulance,
I just can't get it
Just can't get it,
Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess.

Took you long enough, didn't it?

That took forever.

How are you alive?

Maybe I'm not.

Finally, we agree on something.

Oh, this guy

Lol.

Good to see you again.
Likewise, now—

Here it goes…

As you promised.

Working on it.

As I promised.

Take my heart for granted,
Take my soul, If this is loveless
Till the end,
I just can't manage, having
Thoughts of death and tragic ends
I haven't
Felt the same since
Waking up without the day to come ahead;
The day has passed again
A test,
No fail, or pass
It's just progressive,
In a trance,
It's just the stress,
It's just to pass the time,
I guess, if this is purpose
Then, we'll see if this is worth it
Now, or never, then
Now or never,
Never had a friend,
All envious at best,
This is the end all,
In the end, it's just
Me and God,
And God would want
A better body,
To have fun
I wished it all at once,
And then I watched it crumble
Oh, I watched it
Stumble in, again, my friend
I'm different when it's wet,
I might not never see the Sun again
I might not ever love again
Oh well

“Oh well” , I said
Oh, well, I guess
Oh well

Okay. One hour left.

Okay.

Who gets the gold?

Hum.

Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7.

Play Iambic.

What, right now?

Yeah, play Iambic.

Uh…

Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with a

If I'm technically Christ, then Skrillex is the Anti-Christ—

And if we fuck out Demi-God children will most possibly bring on the Apocalypse.

**most probably.

Something's on fire.

I think it's your living room.

Oh my God!

Oh, good, it's just the curtains.

Your son set my living room on fire.

Not the living room. Just the curtains!

[and the couch]

My couch!

And my couch!

Oh my God!

Stop it, The Apostle!

What.

That's The Apostle. He sets stuff on fire.

What the Hell.

With his mind.

You called your son “The Apostle”

Sure did.

Why.

CUT TO: FLASHBACK

THE APOSTLE
(extremely cute toddler)
The Earth with end in a rain of hellfire and blood.

Ok.

He was 3.

Wow:
Wait. You named your son when he was 3?

We changed it from ‘Simon'

Hi, Simon!

THE APOSTLE
DOOM.
*sets fire*

WOAH.
That's so cool.

No, not the google documents!

GET IN THE HOLE.

Hm.

What.

Blood Shower

All along the watch tower

Do you feel good?
Do you?
Do you feel bad about this.
I do. I feel bad about this.
I forgot to tell you–
I should probably let you know that I just want to

MAN, FUCK THIS DUDE.


MA.

WAHT.

IT'S ON.
WHAt.

THE SHOW IS ON.

THEWHAT.

THE–
*suddenly self aware*

…I gotta get out of Boston.

What, first this was about war, now it's about bird people?

It's about a war WITH the bird people.

I should sleep.

Hahaha. No.

This isn't funny anymore.

At least it's over.

MA–

Oh, it's far from over.

Yo, i'm going through some crazy shit right now.

Spur of the moment
I'd never thought of it;
This is gonna take forever.
I don't have the patience
To even write this
I just want french fries right now
But been up for two days with no gym and
I'm on a diet.

GUAC TIME.

No, no burritos.

GUAC TIME.

Oh shit, this is getting real as fuck .

NOw i see it three ways.

I love it.

I hate it.

HEY, LET ME OUT.

GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE, SKRILLEX.

I'M DILLON FRANCIS.

IN THE HOLE.

Check it out.

Huh.

It's another DJ.

*agrees*

Should we pick him up.

WEll, the good news is: I found your friend.

Oh, that's good.

The bad news is: He's dead.

Oh, that–'s … nice.

Yeah. It is.

Uh. Kaskade.

Yeah.

We gotta find Ryan.

Why. What's up?

You're freaking me out.

Why. What's up.

Nothing

IS it my eyes?
I–

*wild ass eyes*

Yeah, it's probably that.

Fuck dude, what did you do to deadmau5.

NOTHIN.

He's not the same.

What the fuck is that.

Holy shit I jus timejumped

Where the fuck are you going.

How the fuck could this happen?!

It COULDN'T.

Well, that's it then.

*shrugs*

Well, I guess we're just gonna have to go dig up Dillon Francis.

I guess so.

Do you think he's still alive.

Like, probably not–
Maybe…
No, probably not

@prodbywar& @Halmadeit

This amazon order took me nine hours
Alexa, I think i should fire her
Like a arm
I don't leave at night without armor
Don't make me a martyr
Your mom will be proud of us all
If i make it outta here
And i'll look after her
Got the whole block coming up on my heels as I walk
Wtf is it…

Idk dude.

Is it speeding up?

I…i think so.

There's no way this is 140

IT's 140.
It's 140 .

There's no way.

Yes way.

Nah huh.
Let me see.

No.

Let me at the decks.

Let me at the decks.

NO.

YO LET ME AT THE DECKS.

You want deks.
Yes.

I got deks.

Really.
yeus .

I never listened to it like this
In ableton
I read serato, synesthesia and rekordbox
I talk a lot,
I'm like a human music box
I walk a lot
I run my mouth a mile a minute
(faster than i run around the track reciting rap words)
Like they're passwords.

Oh, I could do this forever..
I wish i had i microphone right now
And was all alone
With the lights off
Lying on the floor
I'd be lying if i said I could afford you
Just to fornicate
But may consider playin

[EDITS]

CONAN O'BRIEN
Alright.
If she hit Fallon, she's gonna come for one of us next.

No, Conan—that's not how this works.

WHAT—where did you come from!?
When did you get here?

JAY LENO
This goes deeper than all of you can understand.

WHAT the FUCK, man!
When did you-/
—when did he get here?

How did you do that?!
How did you do that?!

What are you, like, the same guy?

Are you not all the same guy?

[they shrug simultaneously and kind of just agree]

Listen at this.

Okay then.

The enemy of your friend is my enemy.

Oh…kay—and the enemy of my enemy—is my friend—

That is correct.

—so we're all friends here.
That's right.

Some special forces?

Which forces?
How special?

[JENNIFER LOPEZ is still JENNY FROM THE BLOCK]

Do I look like a fool to you?

Uh—

OOPS
[a pre-fame Jennifer Lopez receives a drop full of diamonds instead of the usual; she has been granted access into the Illuminati, and becomes an overnight success.]

This feels heavier than usual.

Same as always.

Hm. Are you sure.

Yep.

Hey, you're not the regular guy.

Regular guy died.

That makes sense.

JENNIFER ANNISTON is inside of Ū

Okay, grosss

Not like that

[lifting max weight]

Okay. That was cool. Wow.

Yeah, sure whatever.

I am strong

Yeah yeah, okay.

Are you sure you want to be my size?

Yep.

JIMMY FALLON/SKRILLEX (we don't know actually which at this point) is also trapped inside of Ū

Okay, gross!

Yeah.

SKRILLEX is in all of Ū.

okay—actually, i'm okay with that, but

That other guy?!

[JIMMY FALLON]

Yeah, he's weird.

Also meanwhile, kind of—

MARSHALL MATHERS has a closet cleaning service

lol.

Patrick is smooth as a motherfucker, you know.
Every time his head is down on the desk like that, he takes a bump of coke.

What?! Big uh!

[Patrick takes bumps of cocaine in front of a live studio audience—every single night.]

Woah!

See.

Goddamn. You gotta admire a guy like that.

Jennifer Anniston is the weight on the cable tension machine

Ooh.

Psycho bitch> devious methods > new ludachris commercial

All ya'll girls is toddlers
I like long boards and longhairs
Lawn mowers and lawn shares
Aw hell nah, God forgot Cher
I got the Blair witch project
On Blair,
I hope I scare you
How dare you.

Your girl looks like a naked mole rat.
I got my soul back.
You blue eyed bastards stole everything
From the whole blacks,
Hold that thought
I'm at Whole Foods market
throw in the Amazon algorithm off
With marked dollars
Look at God at Walmart
On them rollbacks
You old hacks are cackling
I'm shackled to old habits
Hold hands with me, rabbit
I'm just a silly rapper
really, are you?
Maybe.

Cut the verse of
Reverse God
Now I'm the devil
I'm still lost in the Amazon cart
I sharted all up in your pop tarts
Before you warmed them up, pops
Just for the sake of the art,
Heart to heart,
It's a war on love
And the white girls won with nothin but
Buckets of
Whatever's up there
I wouldn't know
Cause I'm stuck job searching
And running,
Trying not to have a tummy
So some gummy worm will love me
First their sour, then they're sweet
Then nobody,
Trolli
Holy moly I could use some more petroleum in the ocean!
Said nobody
But the globalists are performing your programming
Which you're worshiping
I put my eye on the dollar
So I could watch you all
Crumble and fall
Don't you know
The apocalypse is happening at the mall
Of all the places

How's that for a stream of consciousness,
You salamander
I asked Anandar back
But I went past that chapter
Have a chap
Or a chapstick, for four times four dollars
A bottle of water will cost you a fortune
(But at least the drugs are in it)
Get it
It's recycled piss
Distilled? Which is it, Mr,?
The mystery box was literally lifted into
My dinner from a fishery filled with nothing but niggers in it—
I want a refund, before I catch tha

02. Annie was not that smart ||
Annie had half a heart
Annie, poor Annie
Was full of hot air,
Yes
Annie was just a fart

Annie was bad at cards,
But Annie could drive a car
Annie poor Annie
Just ran out of gas,
Poor Annie—
That's just the start!

Annie goes out to bar;
Annie's so good at darts
Annie poor Annie
She acts like a man,
But Annie is not from mars.

Annie was drunk that night
Me and Annie just got in a fight
Annie, poor Annie—
She just couldn't dance
No,
Annie just wasn't right

||

I'm so sick
I'm so tired
Of all
Of these services
Asking
For money
It's donuts, you know
And I don't eat sugar
I'm sick of my curves—
They're so perfect,
But her, she has none
And you love her
And you're what
I want
So
Fuck this
I'm a disaster
I'll be here after the show
For a while
But don't talk to me!
I'm just a broken
Soul
A guitarist
Who knows only
Words
At the surface
I'd rather be her

(I just want to go home with you;
If I take my clothes off,
You'll probably throw up, though)
I just want to go home
You know
Kingdom come
Or whatever you call it
When you're just
Done

I got blood under my fingernails
If I cut myself,
It starts pouring rain

I got blood under my eyes,
But if I

Now I know too well,
The well of tears on my guitar
She's got a body like one
Oh her curves
But I just wonder what it like to be loved
By stars

Socialites and superstars
They're Gods, you know
How high up they are
Above us

And he lives in an ascended dimension,
But he insists, he says
Her transcendence is upon us
He said
Your transcendence is upon us
He says these things,
And then just vanishes

So she gets up promptly
Warms up yesterday's coffee
Looks around in her coffin
And wonders
What for

I just
Wonder what it's like to be loved by stars
Without double r's, you know
I've got scars
But it's mostly just
Teardrops, and soft kisses
On my guitar
Cause, oh, Oli,
I ain't got nobody—
And nobody holds me
Like I hold Oli

(Could have been Ali,
But of course—
I had already lost that one
A whole well of tears,
I lost
At his departure
And a whole well more
When I actually lost him

I almost miss
Having someone to talk to
About anything and everything
But I've got Oli
And God now
I've got Oli
And Oli (oli)
Is all that I've got
Besides God
That's the only contact
In my
Phone book

No more double Ls
And double entendres;
No more double rs
At all
Just scars now

No more metaphors.
Honest is radical
I like them cynical
I should have clinical insanity by now
But I'm only just an artist
You can't help
But can only harm that
And if it hurts hard enough
I'll put art on my walls
Become permanent
Storybooks all over my arms now
My coat of arms now

I've run Ten point 5 miles
In the last 3 days;
But if I rest today
Will a motorcycle gang
Have a parade outside of my window,
To drive me crazy?
I hope it rains,
So they can't play these games with my head
And the seeds that I planted
So deep become daisies

I still don't remember
The way he rearranged me
But these days I make my name sound
So the way
He can never say it
Just imitates
The way
I hate myself

I should be dating
But expressions are
Atrocious
If I fall asleep—
Who knows
I may get
Stolen

That tends to happen
So I'm
All the way up
And I'm swollen in ways
That I hate to say
“I love you”
Love me back
Or say it harder
That's my martyrdom

Come off the cross, for a moment,
Would you for us?
And bend over
Or bow, if you will?

If I did,
Would you still call me wicked
Or just a Good witch
Since I'm a woman,
I just couldn't be
Jesus,
Who you asked for once
And always
Who you asked for some
To save you from your
Credit reports
And consorts
Or some sort of
Nonsense

[famous last words]

God don't speak much English,
She says
God don't speak much these days
We were
Always
Telepathic

That was way back then
When Oedipus Rex