"My deep emotional struggle has been a secret, hidden behind the façade of dependability. I’ve been busy making sadness wrong and I was not sure how to talk about it."
Exposing the Cracks that the Light May Come In
Hey guys this Sarah Mastriani-Levi and I wanted to take a few minutes to speak to you from my heart about what's been happening with me, about what's been going on with my podcast and what’s been occurring in my business over the past few months.
I usually don't share a lot of personal stuff on this platform. Although, most of you know that I will share personal anecdotes from time to time to support your processes. But this time, I wanted to let you know a little bit about the authentic and human side of what's been going on lately. I hope it will encourage you and give you support that you're not alone in what you're going through.
These past few months have been tough for me emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. I have felt like I’ve gone through some challenges that have happened, if for no other reason, then to slow down my pace.
For all of you, who personally know me, being an extremely driven, overachiever has been a trademark of my personality for the majority of my life. But something has happened… maybe lots of some things…that have begun to shift my perspective.
In October 2016, Hurricane Matthew did some massive damage to my community, and much of the Southern East Coast. We caught the brunt of the storm. We were evacuated from our homes and forced into a “Hurri-cation mode”. Much of my business is online, so fortunately I could operate it from “the cloud” and the hotel where we were staying. However, while we were away there was a massive energy shift that happened in this area.
For me, trees are like souls, and coming back to the storm damaged area was shocking, to say the least. Now nearly five months later, we are still seeing FEMA collecting fallout debris from the storm. As you may imagine, hundreds of thousands of trees were erased from the natural landscape.
It felt like a spiritual emptying out, almost as if there were volunteer souls that bowed out, in order to allow space and light, for new energy, to come into the area. All in all, that would be a really positive thing, but simultaneously there seems to be a grieving process, both of the people and of the land for the changes that have happened and continue to evolve here. There's a heavy energy, and what feels like opposition to a lot of the new energy that is flowing in.
Being an empath, I'm very sensitive to this. Honestly, it has caused me to lose my rhythm a little. It has toyed with my productive abilities for my business, and otherwise. All of this has challenged me spiritually and emotionally throughout these past several months. It has caused me to question my relationships and whether I am in the right location or not.
The election season has been overwhelming, surprising and divisive. So much of what I never believed could happen, has…everyday seems like a new surprise, a new twist, a new turn. I feel constant fear and unease in the current political environment. I feel like I’m walking on egg-shells not to accidentally mention my opinion in the “wrong company.” Much of what’s around me believes differently, and I can’t for the life of me wrap my mind around it or support it. I keep asking myself, “is there a chance I could be wrong?” but cannot seem to understand how I could ever think or feel the opposite of what I do. I can’t understand what others are supporting.
Strangely, nearly every project that I had started before October has not come to fruition. That is totally unlike me because I love efficiently finishing projects, more than just about anything else. In addition to all of that, every single project that I tried to launch over the past few months has sent me mixed messages with constant snafus and delays. Nearly every lecture that I was invited t