47 min
09 | How to Stop Being Introverted The Gentle Rebel Podcast
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- Self-Improvement
"How can I stop being so introverted? Any advice would be very welcome."
I was asked this question for the first time a few years ago. I've been asked it many times since. In fact, the blog post I wrote in response to it was one of the most visited articles on my website.
I wanted to help introverts to move in sync with their natural rhythms instead of resenting them. So I've turned the post into a podcast episode so that we can explore what this might look like in more depth.
Episode Contents* What Do You Want to Stop Being Introverted? | 4:47* Isolation in an Alien World | 8:32* But Everyone Seems So Happy | 13:58* What Do You Mean By "Introverted"? | 20:28* How To Stop Being an Introvert | 23:14* It's About How We Are, Not Who We Are | 25:34* Acting Out of Character | 26:11* The Pros and Cons of Personality Tests | 33:57* Labels and Traps | 41:07* Embracing Who You Are | 44:22
What Do You Want to Stop Being Introverted? | 4:47
It's easy for me to say "just embrace your introversion, it's who you are", but I know it's not that simple. There are good reasons why we might wish we could stop being an introvert. Especially when we compare ourselves with the person we are told to be by society. Our natural preferences don't always fit with the values of a noisy, overstimulating, extrovert-centric world.
It can feel like we don't belong. Like there's something wrong with us. And of course, we might wish we could change that.
Isolation in an Alien World | 8:32
Do you ever get the sense that everyone else is in on something and you missed the meeting?
Have you looked at others and envied how comfortable they are, interacting with an overwhelming world. They appear unfazed by the madness. They know what they’re doing, where they want to go, and what they need to do to get there.
Laurie Helgoe says that this is very common for introverts. An idea she articulates perfectly in Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength.
She describes two kinds of responses introverts might have to an extrovert-centric world:
Shadow Dwelling Introverts:
“Appear (if they can be seen) as reclusive and inaccessible – alien.”
Accessible introverts
“Do not come off as remote or intimidating because they have almost adapted to the extrovert culture”
The potential problem we might face through these ways of adapting to a noisy world is that they can create alienation. We might become alienated from the world around us as the shadow dweller. Or we alienate ourselves from core parts of who we are deep down as the accessible introvert.
"How can I stop being so introverted? Any advice would be very welcome."
I was asked this question for the first time a few years ago. I've been asked it many times since. In fact, the blog post I wrote in response to it was one of the most visited articles on my website.
I wanted to help introverts to move in sync with their natural rhythms instead of resenting them. So I've turned the post into a podcast episode so that we can explore what this might look like in more depth.
Episode Contents* What Do You Want to Stop Being Introverted? | 4:47* Isolation in an Alien World | 8:32* But Everyone Seems So Happy | 13:58* What Do You Mean By "Introverted"? | 20:28* How To Stop Being an Introvert | 23:14* It's About How We Are, Not Who We Are | 25:34* Acting Out of Character | 26:11* The Pros and Cons of Personality Tests | 33:57* Labels and Traps | 41:07* Embracing Who You Are | 44:22
What Do You Want to Stop Being Introverted? | 4:47
It's easy for me to say "just embrace your introversion, it's who you are", but I know it's not that simple. There are good reasons why we might wish we could stop being an introvert. Especially when we compare ourselves with the person we are told to be by society. Our natural preferences don't always fit with the values of a noisy, overstimulating, extrovert-centric world.
It can feel like we don't belong. Like there's something wrong with us. And of course, we might wish we could change that.
Isolation in an Alien World | 8:32
Do you ever get the sense that everyone else is in on something and you missed the meeting?
Have you looked at others and envied how comfortable they are, interacting with an overwhelming world. They appear unfazed by the madness. They know what they’re doing, where they want to go, and what they need to do to get there.
Laurie Helgoe says that this is very common for introverts. An idea she articulates perfectly in Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength.
She describes two kinds of responses introverts might have to an extrovert-centric world:
Shadow Dwelling Introverts:
“Appear (if they can be seen) as reclusive and inaccessible – alien.”
Accessible introverts
“Do not come off as remote or intimidating because they have almost adapted to the extrovert culture”
The potential problem we might face through these ways of adapting to a noisy world is that they can create alienation. We might become alienated from the world around us as the shadow dweller. Or we alienate ourselves from core parts of who we are deep down as the accessible introvert.
47 min