103: How She Turned Troublemaking into her Profession with Luvvie Ajayi Jones b Cause Work Doesn't Have to Suck

You've probably heard 1,834 times in the last year about how you have to think differently about fear. But what if the biggest fear you have is actually a fear of being "too much"? No, seriously. Think about it. How many times have you held yourself back because you have this weird, largely unidentified fear of simply being more than anyone can imagine (except maybe, you)? Erin Hatzikostas sits down with two-time New York Times best-selling author, a sought after speaker, and someone who thrives at the intersection of humor, justice, and professional troublemaking, Luvvie Ajayi Jones.  Luvvie's Oriki: Luvvie of House Jones. First of Her Name. Assassin of the Alphabet. Bestseller of Books. Conquerer of Copy. Dame of Diction. Critic of Culture. Sorceress of Side-eyes. Eater of Jollof Rice. Rocker of Fierce Shoes. Queen of the Jones Kingdom. Taker of Stages. Nigerian Noble and Chi-Town Creator. Luvvie recently released her latest best-seller, "Professional Troublemaker, The Fear Fighter Manual", and in light of her booming success, Erin asks Luvvie all the questions. She starts by asking, "What would your grandmother say to you right now?" Luvvie says her grandmother would be proud, showing everyone the book constantly. She would feel honored.  Erin then asked about Luvvie's Nigerian roots, and hoe they have shaped her. Luvvie explains how bold Nigerians can be... that they're not afraid to be themselves, but they also work together to bring those up around them. She explains how when she arrived in America she realized how different from other people she was, and while she hid parts of that to protect it, she never let it go, and she was never ashamed of it. They discuss topics on Luvvie's books, how dreaming big is already a privilege; there are things around us in life that tell us we have limits. Luvvie wants us to dream big in spite of those systems.  They discuss just what dreaming big means and how it changes from person to person. Maybe you want a position that feels out of your reach, or maybe it's changing your career entirely and picking up a violin. It's about finding what you want to do, even if it feels too audacious. Erin asks Luvvie what she is dreaming of. Luvvie explains how hitting the New York Times Bestsellers list for a second time was her latest "airplane" dream. Not only did she make the list, she came in at number three. Luvvie tells the story of when she kept going, even after being told "no". After being asked to speak at a conference, she was refused any payment or reimbursement of travel expenses. After speaking with some people who had experience with the same conference, she started to realize that only white male speakers were paid or reimbursed in some way. That's when she decided, against her agents fears of repercussions, to speak up about it. Despite fears that speaking up would negatively impact her speaking career going forward, she spoke up. But guess what happened? She ended up having her most successful year to that point. Erin then poses the question, "Have there been times when speaking up has not worked out well?", Luvvie says she's absolutely had times where she's essentially "gotten in trouble". She explains that there will be times that you are not received well, but you need to tie your actions to your real-self, to your authenticity, regardless of whether it will land well. Erin asks Luvvie what advice she has for people who want their own voice, but they're not sure what to say. Luvvie says that even on the smallest scale, speaking up has power. Don't think you have to have a platform or a massive reach. For example, even if you are at dinner and someone says something you disagree with, use that moment to say the thing you need to say. They both then talk about breaking the rules and how the "rules" have led to rooms full of white men, closing off pools of people and thoughts from getting a "ticket" into the room. If the rules and traditions have led to situations like this