#17 Hard-to-swallow pills u awake?

🚨 Trigger warning: suicide, loneliness, depression 🚨



Jaded (adj.)
The end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences, disappointment, and unfulfilment fed into a person where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.



If you have reached this stage in your life, congratulations! You are well and truly a full-fledged adult! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻



Jokes aside, as we grow older, it’s hard not to feel jaded as the Disney-induced rose-tinted glasses start coming off and the harsh realities of life set in🌹👓💔


Tune in to Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) and Khema (@khema.1) chat about the hard-to-swallow pills in life, from losing relationships to existential loneliness, with advice from our Ajahn.
 

Timestamps
(01:06) Jaded about friendships
(02:21) Over-dependence
(03:16) Rock bottom
(07:00) Self-reliance
(08:14) Trust issues
(09:40) Ajahn’s triple-0
(10:42) Giving without expectation
(12:19) The jadedness doesn’t benefit you
(12:51) Don’t blame other people if you didn’t communicate properly
(13:14) People have a right to be selfish
(14:04) It’s hard to ask for help
(15:41) Family, career, partner > friends
(17:14) Nothing has changed, it’s the view that needs to change
(17:42) False sense of security
(19:08) Dhamma offers another way
(19:17) No expectations > low expectations
(20:09) Most of the time people’s actions say more about them than about us
(21:17) Taking kindness personally turns into entitlement
(22:25) No ‘personal’ relationships
(25:05) People’s actions have to do with their qualities
(25:25) Needing to feel special and seeking out emotionally unavailable people
(26:47) Needing someone during really dire situations
(27:13) Family ties
(29:20) The vulnerability of disability and losing independence
(31:42) Identifications challenged
(33:00) There are people out there who have it harder (but don’t dismiss yourself)
(35:15) Step 1: Acknowledging that I am helpless right now
(37:02) Karma is changeable
(37:56) Happy endings
(38:23) Enough of Samsara
(39:21) Suffered enough
(41:07) Sitting with the discomfort
(42:04) Burning room
(44:47) We’re all just on painkillers
(45:12) Family bonds are different
(46:25) There is a happiness that is permanent and lasting
(47:13) Reality is daunting
(47:55) Listen to the whispers (aka intuition)
(48:50) A hundred lifetimes of men
(49:52) “You can call me anytime”
(51:13) Anna Akana
(52:18) Psychotherapy vs Dhamma
(57:24) The other shore is probably so much better tbh
(58:45) Everyone else is suffering too
(01:00:00) You’re playing god for yourself
(01:01:25) Escaping life and the fear of death
 
References

Vaṭṭaka Paritta: The Baby Quail's Protection

The Buddha’s Relationship Advice by Ajahn Thanissaro

For When the World Can’t Help You by Ajahn Thanissaro

Why I stopped drinking by Anna AkanaHow to validate yourself by Anna Akana
 
 
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This episode was recorded in 2023.

 
For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask for the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.