19. Grow Your Family without Losing Your Marriage Docs2Dads - A Pediatrician’s Field Guide for Fathers

Welcome back Dads!! A few weeks ago, we discussed the struggle most couples face with staying connected to each other and maintaining good communication and friendship as you take on the challenge of parenthood. Then, I came across a couple that had the key to success and I had to bring them on the show. Dr. George Naum and his wife, Vanessa, have been coaching married couples for over 25 years. In 2018 they began specializing in physician marriage coaching.

Through the years, Vanessa and Jeep have seen the best and the worst of marriages in the context of medical practice, coaching, and among their personal relationships. They have been married for nearly 30 years. I believe that if you have a goal, one of the best ways to achieve it is to find someone else who is doing it and learn from them. So that’s what I did.

I know this conversation will help encourage you in those long days and nights after a new baby and help you develop habits that will help build lifelong intimacy.   

I hope you learn as much as I did from this couple who have been married for a long time, survived raising three kids and having both partners trying to build careers and pursue passions. This can sometimes feel impossible, or at least, overwhelming, so it is always reassuring to see a couple doing this well and trying hard to keep doing it well. 

Here are a couple key takeaways from my conversation with Jeep and Vanessa!
1. Some of the challenges associated with having kids can be eased by having conversations about having kids before you get married or start trying for a baby. How many do you want? What will you expect from each other after baby is born?  What support can you provide to each other? These answers may change over time, but you need to have at least started having these conversations early on.
2. You and your partner may have times when your confidence is shaken because you are going through tough times or you get worried about parenthood, but you can be a voice of confidence for your partner that you can do it together and that you have faith in their ability to be a great parent.
3. Parenting is a team sport when done well. Parenting will go so much smoother if you work together, communicate effectively and help each other out. Affirm the positive and empathize with the negative. 
4. Detach yourself from the idea that there are certain tasks that are “wife” issues or “husband” issues. You can’t put your nose up at changing a diaper or warming a bottle. 
5. It’s never too late to reclaim your marriage. If you are feeling “Disenchantment” with your relationship. Investing time in emotional and intellectual intimacy gets forgotten. Communicate how you are feeling and your needs and wants. But take note of your partner’s wants and needs as well. 
Dr. George and Vanessa Naum can be found at www.bestfriendsagain.com and Dr. Naum’s book “What’s Forever For” is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. 
If you would like more resources on maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner after kids, please let us know that you enjoyed this episode by leaving a five star review on your favorite podcast app or connecting with us on social media. 
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