Do you wish you could be a spectacular failure in the music business? Are you looking for the step-by-step process that will make you an embarrassing disgrace to yourself, your family, and the world?
That’s what we’re going to be looking at in this episode of The New Music Industry Podcast.
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* 00:32 – A framework for failure
* 00:52 – Be a jerk to everyone
* 01:17 – Flake out on everything
* 01:58 – Don’t improve as a musician
* 02:29 – Spend all your time on social media
* 03:18 – Don’t build email lists
* 03:55 – Make Spotify your sole source of income
* 04:34 – Don’t get expert coaching
* 05:16 – Don’t invest in your personal growth
* 05:56 – Don’t reinvest in your music career
* 06:29 – Remain a Blockbuster in the age of Netflix
* 07:00 – Episode summary
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
* 266 – The 5 Layers of Independent Music Success
* The New Music Industry by David Andrew Wiebe
Hey, it’s David Andrew Wiebe.
So, normally I talk about frameworks for success, just like in the last episode of The New Music Industry Podcast.
This episode is going to be a little different. What follows is a framework for failure.
Now, this might seem a little strange, but by the end of it, I think you will begin to see how powerful an exercise it can be.
You’ll see what I mean. Let’s get into this.
1. Be a Complete Jerk
Insult the people you meet. Make fun of your fans. Criticize and attack your bandmates. Curse the media. People are awful and they deserve to know just how much they suck and how much better you are.
Hit on men or women who are already attached to someone else. Stay at hotel rooms, throw the TV out the window, and refuse to pay for your stay. Flip off everyone. They’re horrible people for not recognizing your greatness.
2. Be a Flake
Don’t show up to band meetings or rehearsals. Don’t show up to gigs. Don’t show up to radio or podcast interviews. And if you do show up, make it an hour late, and pretend like you weren’t at fault. Make no excuses, no apologies, and put no effort into salvaging the opportunity or resolving the situation whatsoever.
Be a person who promises big and delivers small. Or deliver nothing at all. Disappoint your friends, your family, your fans, and anyone else who dares express any interest in you.
Make bad excuses. Say, “I’m washing my hair that night,” or “I’m tired,” or “I have to get up early tomorrow,” or “my dog ate my homework,” in contexts where it doesn’t make sense, and pretend like people buy your reasons for being absent.
3. Don’t Improve
Spend no time whatsoever working on your craft. Don’t try to be better.
Next time you have a show, or a new release, make no effort. Don’t practice. Don’t market. Don’t show up with new material unless it’s just as bad as your earlier works. Don’t engage the fans. Don’t engage the venue owner, event organizer, or anyone else connected to your show or project. Actively insult them instead.
Give a half-assed attempt at everything, just to make sure your performances aren’t getting better. You don’t want to improve by mistake and give the wrong impression.
4. Rely Exclusively on Social Media
Spend all your time and energy on social media. Create accounts far and wide – Bandcamp, Facebook, Fanbase, Instagram,