This episode is a continuation of the discussion with clinical psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Morgan Anderson, who dives deep with us into the various attachment styles to help us understand how we can work through the challenges each style faces, heal and become more secure in who we are to attract more secure relationships.
Avoidant Attachment and Its Difficulties [5:23] “People with avoidant attachment struggle with reassurance. There is a lot of uncertainty. Everything in the relationship is confusing, but the sex is good. ”
The Shame in Needing Sex [13:42] “Women feel guilty about needing it, but hey maybe the way your relationship has functioned only allows you to feel connected and safe when you have sex. Sex is one of the many ways you can connect with your partner.”
Securely Attached Sex [15:02] “What a lot of people need to realize is that when your energy is not going to the drama or the unpredictability, it can go into the deepening of building a life and having wonderful experiences with someone. Safe and secure is sexy.”
Having the Courage to Say Something [20:54] “In order to have the relationship that you want and make it sustainable of course, you have to tune in to yourself, speak up and voice what’s going on. We can be assertive and redirect.”
Fear of Starting the Life Over [26:19] “Do you want to spend a life of suffering for the rest of your life or do you want to go through the temporary pain of leaving the relationship? Go through the temporary pain, avoid the lifetime of suffering.”
Couple’s Therapy and Uncoupling [28:52] “Successful couple’s therapy is not the couples staying together, it’s doing what’s best for the couples and individuals and sometimes that is uncoupling. Sometimes, that is the very best thing.”
“Uncoupling is intentionally dissolving a romantic relationship, and creating a new type of relationship in that process.”
Failures in Dating [37:56] “There’s no failure in dating, there’s only learning.”
Forgetting and Forgiveness [42:06] “Your pain is valid. Your experience is valid. Forgiveness is just deciding you’re not going to carry around the anger.”
Being Honest with Yourself [49:00] “You get to be honest with yourself about the kind of relationship that you want, and how you want to feel.”
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