1 hr 4 min
570: Amy Morin - Fix What's Broken, Develop Healthier Patterns, and Grow Stronger Together (13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do) The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk
-
- Management
Read our new book, The Score That Matters
https://amzn.to/49LJuuD
Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com
Notes:
Just two years into Amy's work as a therapist, her mother passed away unexpectedly. Exactly three years to the day later, her 26-year-old husband, Lincoln, died of a heart attack. So she set out on a personal journey to learn as much as she could about grief, mental health, and mental strength. Amy decided that she would live life to the fullest. She rode mules into the Grand Canyon, went skydiving, took flying trapeze lessons, spent the night in 49 states, got 6-pack abs in 28 days, and started driving a motorcycle Amy’s daily challenge: She pushes herself to run a mile as fast as she can. It forces her outside of her comfort zone and ensures mental and physical growth. Pleasant activity scheduling. Put them on the calendar. Block out time for pleasant experiences together with your partner, your family, and your friends. You then look forward to those moments, get to experience those moments, and then create memory dividends that you’ll have for life. Schedule pleasant activities. Don’t take your partner for granted. I think this goes for any relationship, but especially for those of us who are in committed long-term relationships with a spouse. Think of the Tony Robbins story: For the past twenty years, each day when he gets home from work, he has a “Honey I’m home” routine where they share a big embrace and a kiss and they both bring positive energy to the interaction. This sets the tone so that their relationship doesn’t get boring. What Mentally Strong Couples Do: They don't ignore their problems. - Whether they face a sudden financial hiccup or experience issues related to intimacy, mentally strong couples address their problems head-on. They engage in difficult conversations and confront their issues, regardless of the discomfort it might bring. By working together to find solutions early on, they prevent their problems from escalating. They don’t keep secrets. - Mentally strong couples respect each other's privacy, like allowing one another to have private conversations with friends. However, they draw the line at keeping secrets. They’re honest about everything, whether it’s how much they really spent on an item or the fact that a co-worker has been flirting with them. They prioritize open discussion over potential discomfort because they understand that trust is the foundation of their relationship. They don’t hesitate to set boundaries - Mentally strong couples know the importance of setting boundaries with each other. For instance, one partner may need to refrain from responding to text messages during the workday as it interferes with their job. But they also set boundaries to shield their relationship from external influences, like an overbearing mother-in-law or a relative who asks to borrow money. Together, they establish financial, physical, emotional, social, and temporal boundaries that enable them to function at their best. They don’t become martyrs - Mentally strong couples understand that while sacrifices are part of a relationship, it doesn't mean giving up everything to the point of self-destruction. They steer clear of bitterness and resentment for the things they've done for the family. Instead, they set boundaries, voice their needs, and take care of their well-being. They don't use their emotions as weapons - It’s healthy to experience and express a wide variety of emotions. But mentally strong couples don’t weaponize their emotions. For instance, a strong individual won’t cry to avoid a tough conversation, and they won’t raise their voice to get their way. Their focus is on managing their emotions, not controlling their partner's actions. They don't try to "fix" each other - While they work toward bringing out the best in each other, mentally strong individuals don't try to "fix" their partners. They strive to be a positive influence but res
Read our new book, The Score That Matters
https://amzn.to/49LJuuD
Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com
Notes:
Just two years into Amy's work as a therapist, her mother passed away unexpectedly. Exactly three years to the day later, her 26-year-old husband, Lincoln, died of a heart attack. So she set out on a personal journey to learn as much as she could about grief, mental health, and mental strength. Amy decided that she would live life to the fullest. She rode mules into the Grand Canyon, went skydiving, took flying trapeze lessons, spent the night in 49 states, got 6-pack abs in 28 days, and started driving a motorcycle Amy’s daily challenge: She pushes herself to run a mile as fast as she can. It forces her outside of her comfort zone and ensures mental and physical growth. Pleasant activity scheduling. Put them on the calendar. Block out time for pleasant experiences together with your partner, your family, and your friends. You then look forward to those moments, get to experience those moments, and then create memory dividends that you’ll have for life. Schedule pleasant activities. Don’t take your partner for granted. I think this goes for any relationship, but especially for those of us who are in committed long-term relationships with a spouse. Think of the Tony Robbins story: For the past twenty years, each day when he gets home from work, he has a “Honey I’m home” routine where they share a big embrace and a kiss and they both bring positive energy to the interaction. This sets the tone so that their relationship doesn’t get boring. What Mentally Strong Couples Do: They don't ignore their problems. - Whether they face a sudden financial hiccup or experience issues related to intimacy, mentally strong couples address their problems head-on. They engage in difficult conversations and confront their issues, regardless of the discomfort it might bring. By working together to find solutions early on, they prevent their problems from escalating. They don’t keep secrets. - Mentally strong couples respect each other's privacy, like allowing one another to have private conversations with friends. However, they draw the line at keeping secrets. They’re honest about everything, whether it’s how much they really spent on an item or the fact that a co-worker has been flirting with them. They prioritize open discussion over potential discomfort because they understand that trust is the foundation of their relationship. They don’t hesitate to set boundaries - Mentally strong couples know the importance of setting boundaries with each other. For instance, one partner may need to refrain from responding to text messages during the workday as it interferes with their job. But they also set boundaries to shield their relationship from external influences, like an overbearing mother-in-law or a relative who asks to borrow money. Together, they establish financial, physical, emotional, social, and temporal boundaries that enable them to function at their best. They don’t become martyrs - Mentally strong couples understand that while sacrifices are part of a relationship, it doesn't mean giving up everything to the point of self-destruction. They steer clear of bitterness and resentment for the things they've done for the family. Instead, they set boundaries, voice their needs, and take care of their well-being. They don't use their emotions as weapons - It’s healthy to experience and express a wide variety of emotions. But mentally strong couples don’t weaponize their emotions. For instance, a strong individual won’t cry to avoid a tough conversation, and they won’t raise their voice to get their way. Their focus is on managing their emotions, not controlling their partner's actions. They don't try to "fix" each other - While they work toward bringing out the best in each other, mentally strong individuals don't try to "fix" their partners. They strive to be a positive influence but res
1 hr 4 min