ADHD reWired Eric Tivers

This week, Trina Haynes from MyLadyADHD joins the show! Trina is the founder of My Lady ADHD, which empowers and supports individuals facing ADHD challenges!  She created a safe space and vibrant community for women, drawing from her own personal ADHD journey.  Trina is also the host of the My Lady ADHD Podcast, and is the cofounder of Get Lost Retreats, featuring regular ADHD women’s retreats around the globe! Learn more about Trina at MyLadyADHD.com! Check out Get Lost Retreats at getlostretreats.com Questions/Topics:  [00:00:42] Introducing Trina  [00:01:55] Eric and Trina talk about the struggle of making friends and maintaining friendships  [00:06:45] Executive functions, planning & scheduling, maintenance, and avoidance [00:07:47] Perceived rejections, shame, and assuming the best of intentions  [00:10:18] Connecting with ADHDers vs. connecting with neurotypicals  [00:11:25] An ADHD moment… then, a discussion on fizzled-out friendships  [00:14:18] The difficulty of making friends after lockdown and isolation  [00:15:15] Introversion, extroversion, and recovery time  [00:16:44] FOMO (fear of missing out) and the challenge of transitions to stop when being with friends  [00:23:44] Another ADHD moment… [00:24:30] Trina shares lessons learned from friendships that didn’t last, why friendships might not always last, and the importance of communicating clear intentions  [00:26:48] Friendships, feedback, investing, and balance  [00:31:13] Eric and Trina take an intentional moment to reach out to a friend [00:32:26] Managing emotions when worrying if friends will be upset with you, the importance of repair, and being a people-pleaser [00:36:36] Personal dumpster fires, healing, and exploring [00:39:37] The importance of going back to basics and max-capacities [00:47:16] Phone tools and apps to help with communication [00:50:23] Frontloading conversations with honesty and vulnerability [00:51:44] How to get in touch with Trina and closing thoughts  Resources & Honorable Mentions: Hear Eric on Trina’s podcast on the My Lady ADHD Podcast Hear Trina and other panelists on ADHD reWired’s Live Q&A from August 8th - Episode 500 🌟 Have you heard about our Adult Study Hall Community? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!

This week, Eric is joined by Emily Karp! Emily is a 33-year-old entrepreneur, asexuality activist, and fan-work creator!  She embraced her ADHD around age 30 and quit her tedious job to become self-employed as a funeral celebrant and memorial slideshow editor who crafts personalized funerals and celebration-of-life events for non-religious individuals.  Emily went through the ADHD reWired coaching program in spring of 2021 and became a peer mentor in 2022.   Emily is also one of the authors of the book Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing your Asexual or Aromantic Identity, and is a lead organizer of the Washington DC Metro Area Ace and Aro meetup group!  Learn more about Emily at griefpictured.com! Questions/Topics: [00:01:39] Introducing Emily [00:02:41] Diving into the start of Emily’s ADHD journey [00:03:37] The stakes of getting an ADHD diagnosis [00:04:47] Life as an administrative professional before treatments  [00:08:47] Burnout, becoming an entrepreneur, sleep struggles, and coaching  [00:10:30] The “why” behind becoming a non-religious Funeral Celebrant  [00:13:24] Helping others grieve and heal, family estrangements, memorial gatherings, and closure  [00:17:17] Grief to acceptance with ADHD  [00:24:07] The basics of asexuality and aromantics [00:26:04] Nuances of ace relationships, significant others, attraction, and more   [00:28:25] Physical desire, libido, and other statistics in the asexual community  [00:30:44] A discussion on dysfunction, orientation, sexual trauma, and gatekeeping  [00:33:20] ADHD and neurodivergence in the Ace community  [00:42:07] The positive impact of community and relationships  [00:45:01] Emily’s facilitated sessions in the ADHD reWired community spaces  [00:46:54] Sharing more wins  [00:48:43] Emily’s work, website, and closing thoughts Resources & Honorable Mentions: Podcast: Aceterpretations Website: TAAAP - The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project @ taaap.org Book: Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity Want to go to CHADD this year?  Go to chadd.org to learn more! 🌟 Have you heard about our Adult Study Hall Community? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!

Join the ADHD reWired Team every second Tuesday of the month for our monthly Live Q&A!  If you want to join us live on Zoom, go to adhdrewired.com/events to register!   You’ll also find the bonus Q&As from this recording and can listen in ad-free on Patreon when you become a Patron at $5.00 a month or more by going to adhdrewired.com/Patreon!   Questions/Topics:  [00:01:49] “For those who have done some individual coaching work on ADHD, how can groups offer to help with further progress if we’ve already learned some (ADHD management) strategies?”  [00:03.06] An ADHD moment: introducing the panelists + sharing group-coaching experiences  [00:08:21] Saying vs. Knowing  [00:09:22] A listener asks about creating processes: “How do you draw the line between a useful process, but when it’s so complex, it becomes dreadful, then ends up getting in the way?” [00:13.49] Dare to start small [00:14:55] Decluttering your processes  [00:18:22] “As parents with ADHD, what are the dos and don’ts with a potentially neurodiverse child in school?”  [00:20.39] A discussion on advocating for your child  [00:23:07] The importance of managing emotions while advocating  [00:30:21] “Because ADHD sometimes comes with emotional dysregulation, which sometimes happens to me at not-so-opportune times, do you have any tips or strategies for coaching oneself beforehand or ways to get oneself out of dysregulation when it’s happening?”  [00:30:55] DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), interrupting dysregulation in the body, and emotion in the body [00:32:38] The importance of knowing your tendencies  [00:33:54] A discussion and sharing experiences with EMDR  [00:35:21] The before, during, and after-care of emotions in certain situations; noticing physical responses [00:37:30] A listener asks about the Alumni Community versus Adult Study Hall and ADHD reWired’s free Facebook community [00:37:50] Kristin shares her experiences of the Alumni community after coaching [00:38:58] Laura talks about the relationships and connections made  [00:40:05] Brian’s successes utilizing accountability and cultivating continuing growth [00:44:35] Closing thoughts & announcements  Resources & Honorable Mentions Learn more about Wrightslaw What is EMDR? Join ADHD reWired’s online body-doubling community at AdultStudyHall.com! Interested in going to the CHADD conference? Check it out at CHADD.org/conference! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!

In today’s episode, Eric is joined by Edward Savio!  Edward is a dad, has ADHD, wrote a musical, and grew up in Connecticut; after Howard University, Edward moved to Los Angeles to pursue screenwriting, where he became a 10-year overnight success!  Savio’s first novel, Idiots in the Machine, was picked up by Sony Pictures from the academy award-winning producers of Forest Gump. After more deals with Sony, Disney, and others, Edward shifted his focus  writing novels so he could spend more time with his family.  He wrote his first three novels in the home overlooking San Francisco Bay, where Danielle Steel wrote her first two breakout novels.  He also once nearly drove Val Kilmer off a cliff!   Learn more about Edward at his website: EdwardSavio.com 🌟 Go to adhdrewired.com/Patreon where you can get an uninterrupted listening experience of this show!  You’ll also catch the full content of today’s episode and Eric and Edward’s extended discussion when you become a Patron at $5 a month or more!  You can even join Eric every 4th Tuesday of the month for a Patron-only monthly coaching call at $25 a month!  Questions/Topics:  [00:01:32] Introducing Edward Mentioned here: Book - Idiots in the Machine   [00:02:50] How Edward became successful and a writer and managing ADHD  [00:04:45] Routine, resistance, novelty, and plateauing [00:06:03] How to revisit a project that’s been put away for a while  [00:09:10] Misunderstandings in writing and why inflection matters [00:10:50] Struggles with transitions  [00:14:09] Getting help and taking action  [00:15:04] Edward shares some of his writing process and mitigating distractions  [00:21:23] Systems, built-in overhead, and a question about calendars  [00:25:37] Planning for and putting fun stuff on your calendar, and guilt when not engaging with goal-directed behavior  [00:29:04] “Do you know how many people said they wished they worked more?” and a creative person’s struggle  [00:31:04] “I want to make sure [...] my writing does not overtake my ability to interact with people.” - Edward  [00:33:00] Goals, good ideas, and basketball in the office  [00:37:43] Tips for when your brain is faster than you can write and organizing thoughts  [00:41:51] When you don’t want to write, do this.  [00:42:52] What else has Edward been up to?  Mentioned here: Book - The Velvet Sledgehammer [00:47:11] Closing thoughts & where to find more from Edward  Resources & Honorable Mentions: ADHD reWired: Episode 497: Succeed in College with Hannah Choi Book: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie Ware 🌟 Have you heard about our Adult Study Hall Community? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!

In today’s episode, Danielle Sullivan joins the podcast! Danielle is the founder of Neurodiverging Coaching, which offers sliding scale neurodiversity-affirming coaching options for the community.  Danielle is also a certified Positive Psychology coach, a certified Parent Coach, and a certified trauma-informed specialist!  They had intended to remain in academia to work on gendered disability and religion, but then pivoted after she was diagnosed as autistic around age 30 after her eldest child was also diagnosed.  In looking for resources for herself, she found very little, and began producing the Neurodiverging Podcast to try and develop and offer resources for others like her. In this episode, you’ll hear about communication nuances and unpacking the challenges and adaptability for people with both ADHD and autism across different social contexts, managing the home, exploring home dynamics and practices for managing a neurodiverse household, and the importance of non-judgemental regulation. Then, you’ll hear discussions about advocacy, ableism, confronting ableism, burnout and understanding burnout with sensory overload, burnout strategies and prevention, and explorations with technology and ADHD.  Learn more about Danielle and find their podcast at Neurodiverging.com Questions/Topics:  [00:01:36] Episode Summary [00:03:21] Introducing Danielle [00:06:29] Sensory differences, being the “difficult child”, stereotypical presentations, and exploring autism as an adult [00:09:53] A discussion on politeness norms and how environment can affect presentation  [00:13:28] Coping with variables and novel situations  [00:15:08] Managing a neurodivergent household, sensory mismatches, overwhelm, and regulation strategies  [00:19:34] “What if I just do one more thing?”  [00:23:53] Raising awareness around autism in adults: What is Neurodiverging all about?  [00:27:53] Industries attempting to accommodate [00:29:13] A discussion on internalized ableism  [00:33:04] Overly formal speech, chronic ear infections, and asynchronous development  [00:37:37] A discussion on burnout: neurotypical vs. neurodivergent burnout  [00:41:33] Recognizing burnout, autistic behaviors, and the effects of a dysregulated nervous system [00:45:19] “If you can name it, you can tame it.”  [00:46:30] Danielle’s go-to strategies for managing burnout and burnout prevention  [00:47:03] Learning about your own sensory systems and triggers  [00:48:49] An ADHD moment…   [00:49:42] Addressing physical stress, emotions in the body, and closing the stress-cycle  [00:53:29] Words of wisdom and closing thoughts  Resources & Honorable Mentions: Book: Burnout - The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA   🌟 Go to adhdrewired.com/Patreon where you can get an uninterrupted listening experience of this show and bonus content when you become a Patron at $5 a month or more! You can even join Eric every 4th Tuesday of the month for a Patron-only monthly coaching call at $25 a month!  🌟 Looking for real-time accountability? Want weekly check-ins to keep your momentum going on your most dreaded tasks or projects? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!

In today’s episode, Eric is joined by Dr. Ali Arena!  Dr. Ali is passionate about social cognition, language processing, executive functioning, and creating meaningful friendships and relationships.  She is both a speech and language pathologist and a board-certified behavior analyst, has a doctorate degree in educational leadership, is becoming a licensed educational psychologist, and uses a neurodiversity- and trauma-informed lens when working with all clients.   Dr. Ali’s doctorate focus was unique, to say the least, as it addresses the dating intricacies of autistics, which led her to develop her private practice for anyone who wants help socially navigating in their workplace or relationships.  Lastly, Dr. Ali feels social support is a biological necessity and wants to help all neurodivergent individuals to reach wholistic communication.  Find out more and get connected with Dr. Ali at Connection-Squared.com Questions/Topics:  [00:01:36] Introducing Dr. Ali  [00:03:26] Eric asks Dr. Ali how she got into focusing on relationships and the dating intricacies of neurodivergent people  [00:05:04] Emptying the dishwasher and other themes in neurodivergent relationships [00:06:40] A discussion on parentification [00:07:53] Ways to bring up difficult conversations with a partner  [00:11:31] Cleaning up 99 percent, not assuming negative meanings, and shame responses [00:18:27] Listening, eye-contact, and different ways of processing while listening [00:22:35] “How do you cope with going out to eat in a noisy restaurant?” and other sensory challenges when communicating [00:24:41] Setting yourself up for talking with your partner  [00:26:02] Communicating via text [00:32:47] A discussion on neurodivergent relationships and sex  [00:36:57] Neurodiversity and the LGBTQ+ community  [00:39:00] Explaining neurodiversity as part of one’s identity in a relationship [00:42:54] The impact of being in a relationship with someone who understands your neurodiversity [00:45:31] Finding support for neurodivergent relationships and how to get in touch with Dr. Ali  [00:46:20] One more question for Dr. Ali & closing thoughts  🌟 Want to hear the bonus questions and answer at the end of this episode? Go to adhdrewired.com/Patreon where you can get an uninterrupted listening experience of this show and bonus content when you become a Patron at $5 a month or more! You can even join Eric every 4th Tuesday of the month for a Patron-only monthly coaching call at $25 a month!  🌟 Have you heard about our Adult Study Hall Community? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!