Again With This: Beverly Hills, 90210 & Melrose Place Previously.TV

Incarcerated at the county jail, Michael gets help from an unexpected visitor: DR. PETER BURNS. Apparently the whole time he's been gone he was just lying low on the advice of his excellent attorney, who's cleared him on all legal charges. Peter does still need to convince the medical board not to pull his license, which is why he's going to bail Michael out: to extort him into extolling Peter's skills as a doctor, which Michael is all too willing to do. (Peter's also romancing Kimberly all of a sudden, but that couldn't be so that she will ALSO vouch for him with the medical board...could it?!) Kimberly's mirror antagonist is also still around, and urging her to do harm to all the people who are trying to destroy her life; she doesn't need much convincing. Billy and Brooke are hurtling toward the altar, telling Hayley they want to hold the ceremony in a matter of days. Amanda is thrilled to be the one to tell Alison, when she phones the agency looking for Brooke, about the engagement. Alison calls Jo to get her advice on what to do, but makes the mistake of calling at dinner time; Jess grabs the phone away from Jo in the first of several controlling, intimidating, and violent moves against her. So while Alison may want Jo's help in stopping Brooke and Billy's wedding, Jo's...kind of got her own problems at the moment. Speaking of problems: Paul assures Matt that he's got one less, since Carol has moved out. Now they can start having their relationship out in the open! Paul will even give Matt a key to the house! Things sure are going well for Matt! It seems! Things AREN'T going so well for Jane, since the money she got from Sydney didn't cover all her debt, and now the company's in foreclosure. Finding out Amanda's newest client is Mackenzie Hart, Jane's biggest design idol, spurs her to contrive a meeting with the company's CEO, Mackenzie's husband Richard, to try to get a job. It works! Jane also gets a date, and then some, not knowing how complicated things are between the Harts. How do all these plotlines come together to send us off into the summer hiatus DYING to know what happens next? We'll tell all in our BIG podcast on this two-part season finale, "The Big Bang"!
 
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Just in case Amanda wasn't fully convinced in the last episode that Michael was stalking her at home, Kimberly ALSO shows up in the parking garage at D&D to creep Amanda out by following her to her car, which Kimberly has also tagged with a gigantic "Die, Bitch" on the driver's side. Amanda then gets on board, threatening Michael herself if he doesn't leave her alone, not knowing that Kimberly intends to trash the beach house, claw up her own face, and entrap Michael for having "beaten" her. But...there's more. Eek. While Alison gets her feet under her in Hong Kong, she's also anxious to find out what Billy thought of the heartfelt letter she gave Brooke to deliver to him, which is why it's too bad that (a) Brooke read and then shredded Alison's declaration of love and (b) wrote another one that basically left it to Billy whether he wanted to stay in her life or not. Jake wakes up in the hospital after surgery entirely convinced that Jess was behind the shooting, and is unimpressed by both Jess's and Jo's insistence that Jess is innocent. Jess's accomplice also shows up looking for the back half of his payment for services rendered, but since Jake is still alive, Jess feels he's already paid plenty. Matt tells Paul about his wife Carol's unsettling visit and lets him know he doesn't date married men. But when Paul says he's legally separated, Matt decides Paul's a good bet after all, not knowing that Paul is actually playing mind games with both Matt and Carol. Best beware our sting in our podcast on "Framing Of The Shrews"!
 
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Jake is still not okay with Jess and Jo's burgeoning relationship, so much so that he kicks Jess out and fires him from Shooters -- and, when Jo tries importuning him on Jess's behalf, lets her know he's not interested in seeing or talking to her as long as she and Jess are an item. In retaliation, Jess hits up a local pool hall and picks a fight with some toughs, apparently to determine whether they're up for the job of messing with Little Brother (drink!). Brooke is such a good friend to Alison that she arranges for her to interview for a position at Brooke's daddy's company, which comes with a fat salary, and a surprise: it's at his international headquarters in Hong Kong! Billy is all set to talk Alison out of moving so far from her friends, until Brooke urges him not to get in the way of Alison's career progress. What will he do?! Sydney meets with Jim again and gets a surprise of her own: he's an FBI agent who infiltrated Vince's drug ring and is juuuuust about to make a bust. But he likes her, so he advises her to resign as president of Mancini Designs, effective...well, a while ago. And she can't tell Jane because he can only save one of them. Things are still going SO great for Matt and Paul that, yes, it's time for him to find out Paul is married to a lady. Matt is ready to leave Paul alone for good until Paul appeals to Matt's innate kindness and begs him to help Paul work through his feelings: Paul never slept with a man before Matt! He says! Finally, we find out what Kimberly's actually plotting against Michael: she's going to destroy his career, and use Amanda -- and, frankly, Amanda's reasonable suspicions about Michael's ethics, medical and otherwise -- to do it. We've brought YOU a big, wet smooch in the form of our podcast on "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"!
 
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Sydney's gotten approached with a business deal from a couple of guys who just want to use the label to import and sell their pantyhose from China, and who know she used to work for Lauren. What could go wrong?! (You can probably guess.) She also happens to be home for the latest installment of Jess's attempt to bone Jo against every wall in Los Angeles, and since she hears everything on the other side of said wall at her place, she decides it's her place to snitch on them to Jake. Brooke does seem to be enjoying sex with Billy on its merits, but it also has fringe benefits, such as when he almost immediately betrays Alison's confidence and tells Brooke that Alison's On Notice with the D&D board: if she screws up one more thing, she's out. Obviously, she's in the process of screwing up one more thing when Brooke passes this intel on to Amanda, so she barely has to put in any effort to undermine Alison with this one. Kimberly gets the honour of an early graduation from Camp No More Victims after violently assaulting Sarge, and returns to Los Angeles with crazier eyes than ever, and an as-yet-unspecified plan of revenge against Michael. And when Wilshire Memorial's new plastic surgeon, Paul Graham, learns that Matt is gay, he's immediately intrigued. But he's also a guy dating Matt, so...yes, there is something wrong with him. Peel off your stockings and join us for our podcast on "Hose By Any Other Name"!
 
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Brooke and Amanda's plot to depose Alison gets a convenient boost when a rep for D&D's latest very important client happens to have a connection to Brooke's father: she's able to leverage what she knows about his past to manipulate Alison into pitching a concept that will, shall we say, not land. Meanwhile, Amanda is ALSO being set upon constantly by Michael, trying to talk her into seeing him again with compliments, begging, threats, and pasta. Kimberly has decided to change her situation by enrolling in an intensive program called No More Victims, which aims to teach her and her fellow boot campers how to regain control of their lives and learn to assert themselves. (We're not sure Kimberly's problem is that she was insufficiently assertive, but...sure!) Sydney approaches Jane with an offer to save the design firm with Sydney's ill-gotten insurance-settlement gains, and Jane is so desperate that she accepts, even on extremely unfavorable terms. And the more Jo tries to resist Jess's advances, the closer he gets. You may find it impossible to resist our podcast on "Melrose Impossible"!
 
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Michael's having a perfectly pleasant evening at home waiting for his wife to hurry up and die already when Sydney unexpectedly shows up and foils his plan. He's so distracted pretending to try to revive Kimberly that he doesn't notice Sydney stealing the suicide note for future blackmail purposes! Once Kimberly is conscious again, Sydney tells her about the scene she walked up on, but Kimberly denies she was trying to die by suicide: she says Michael poisoned her, and that if Sydney will help her plant evidence to that effect and also destroy her note, she'll give Sydney half the insurance settlement. When the cops show up and don't find the suicide note in their search of the beach house, Michael figures out who probably has it. Whom will Sydney be loyal to! Oh yeah: in the midst of all this, Michael also proposes to Amanda. It doesn't go great. Speaking of Amanda: she gets Billy to ask Alison to give her a job at D&D, and it works! Amanda returns with a great attitude even in a position MUCH more junior than the one she formerly held, but also sets about undermining Alison with the help of her secret accomplice, Brooke. Of course, Amanda could probably just wait for Alison to screw things up on her own, as she is busily doing with Billy and...whatever their relationship is now. Jess's attempts to worm his way back into Jake's life (or possibly take it over) get a big boost when someone leaves their credit card at Shooters. Jess then gets to use it to be a big man paying for dinner out for him, Jake, and Jo, but Jake knows just enough about Jess's financial history to be suspicious about how Jess got a credit card. Will Jo's empathy for Jess draw her closer, and leave Jake on the outside of their relationship? Hear all about it in our podcast on "All About Brooke"!
 
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