John Mendelssohn’s World of Hilarity John Mendelsohn

An American newcomer to London learns all about rhyming slang from a local beauty

All the pomp, with none of the circumstance!

[A Rabbi, the Pope and Jeff Beck's Ghost Walk Into a Pub] 
 
Pater and Grandmother attempt to talk young Tarquin, who seems to be sounding as though brought up in Compton, or some comparable American ghetto, rather than in Surrey, into making a small sacrifice to finance his sister Rubella's education. Rubella, meanwhile, has some text messages she has to send. At the end, we hear, in song, about the self-renamed Tarque 163's favourite meal. 

[A Rabbi, the Pope and Jeff Beck's Ghost Walk Into a Pub]
 
Mummy 2 comes home from work one afternoon with some heartbreaking news for Mummy 1, only for the handsome gentleman who made her renounce her lesbianism to find Mummy 1 irresistibly attractive. Poor Noah has no no idea what to make of all this. Man up, kid!

[A Rabbi, the Pope and Jeff Beck's Ghost Walk Into a Pub]
 
American radio's most pompous old pedant comes to the United Kingdom, and there shares his vast expertise with a bright-eyed local lad who has in the past sat on Father Christmas's lap. 

[A Rabbi, the Pope and Jeff Beck's Ghost Walk Into a Pub]
 
A woman TV journalist who wishes she were almost anywhere else finds herself tasked with getting the "thoughts" of a moronic footballer after a match. Do you know what I mean?