Atheists Read the Bible‪!‬ Alexander and Diogenes

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The chapter where flood waters recede, Noah performs avian experiments, and atheists struggle with bible math.



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Eliezer the Chasid



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AHHHH – random_intruder



Contrabasses Foghorn Rumble – gsb1039



Today’s Text



Comparative Text: https://biblehub.com/genesis/8-1.htm




1 God remembered
Noah, all the animals, and all the livestock that were with him in the
ship; and God made a wind to pass over the earth. The waters subsided. 2 The deep’s fountains and the sky’s windows were also stopped, and the rain from the sky was restrained. 3 The waters continually receded from the earth. After the end of one hundred fifty days the waters receded. 4 The ship rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on Ararat’s mountains. 5 The
waters receded continually until the tenth month. In the tenth month,
on the first day of the month, the tops of the mountains were visible. 6 At the end of forty days, Noah opened the window of the ship which he had made, 7 and he sent out a raven. It went back and forth, until the waters were dried up from the earth. 8 He himself sent out a dove to see if the waters were abated from the surface of the ground, 9 but
the dove found no place to rest her foot, and she returned into the
ship to him, for the waters were on the surface of the whole earth. He
put out his hand, and took her, and brought her to him into the ship. 10 He waited yet another seven days; and again he sent the dove out of the ship. 11 The
dove came back to him at evening and, behold, in her mouth was a
freshly plucked olive leaf. So Noah knew that the waters were abated
from the earth. 12 He waited yet another seven days, and sent out the dove; and she didn’t return to him any more. 13 In
the six hundred first year, in the first month, the first day of the
month, the waters were dried up from the earth. Noah removed the
covering of the ship, and looked. He saw that the surface of the ground
was dry. 14 In the second month, on the twenty-seventh day of the month, the earth was dry. 15 God spoke to Noah, saying, 16 “Go out of the ship, you, your wife, your sons, and your sons’ wives with you. 17 Bring
out with you every living thing that is with you of all flesh,
including birds, livestock, and every creeping thing that creeps on the
earth, that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and
multiply on the earth.” 18 Noah went out, with his sons, his wife, and his sons’ wives with him. 19 Every animal, every creeping thing, and every bird, whatever moves on the earth, after their families, went out of the ship. 20 Noah
built an altar to Yahweh, and took of every clean animal, and of every
clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21 Yahweh
smelled the pleasant aroma. Yahweh said in his heart, “I will not again
curse the ground any more for man’s sake because the imagination of
man’s heart is evil from his youth. I will never again strike every
living thing, as I have done. 22 While the earth remains, seed time and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night will not cease.”

The chapter where covenants are made, drunken nakedness ensues cursing future generations in the process.



Special Guests



Mike Of Mira Scriptura and Mirrorreading.com



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Sound Credits



AHHHH – random_intruder



Contrabasses Foghorn Rumble – gsb1039



Links



https://www.mirrorreading.com/



Today’s Text



Comparative Text: https://biblehub.com/genesis/9-1.htm




1 God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. 2 The
fear of you and the dread of you will be on every animal of the earth,
and on every bird of the sky. Everything that moves along the ground,
and all the fish of the sea, are delivered into your hand. 3 Every moving thing that lives will be food for you. As I gave you the green herb, I have given everything to you. 4 But flesh with its life, that is, its blood, you shall not eat. 5 I
will surely require accounting for your life’s blood. At the hand of
every animal I will require it. At the hand of man, even at the hand of
every man’s brother, I will require the life of man. 6 Whoever sheds man’s blood, his blood will be shed by man, for God made man in his own image. 7 Be fruitful and multiply. Increase abundantly in the earth, and multiply in it.” 8 God spoke to Noah and to his sons with him, saying, 9 “As for me, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your offspring after you, 10 and
with every living creature that is with you: the birds, the livestock,
and every animal of the earth with you, of all that go out of the ship,
even every animal of the earth. 11 I
will establish my covenant with you: All flesh will not be cut off any
more by the waters of the flood. There will never again be a flood to
destroy the earth.” 12 God said,
“This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and
every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set my rainbow in the cloud, and it will be a sign of a covenant between me and the earth. 14 When I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow will be seen in the cloud, 15 I
will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living
creature of all flesh, and the waters will no more become a flood to
destroy all flesh. 16 The rainbow
will be in the cloud. I will look at it, that I may remember the
everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh
that is on the earth.” 17 God said to Noah, “This is the token of the covenant which I have established between me and all flesh that is on the earth.” 18 The sons of Noah who went out from the ship were Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Ham is the father of Canaan. 19 These three were the sons of Noah, and from these the whole earth was populated. 20 Noah began to be a farmer, and planted a vineyard. 21 He drank of the wine and got drunk. He was uncovered within his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. 23 Shem
and Japheth took a garment, and laid it on both their shoulders, went
in backwards, and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces
were backwards, and they didn’t see their father’s nakedness. 24 Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his youngest son had done to him. 25 He said, “Canaan is cursed. He will be a servant of servants to his brothers.” 26 He said, “Blessed be Yahweh, the God of Shem. Let Canaan be his servant. 27 May God enlarge Japheth. Let him dwell in the tents of Shem. Let Canaan be his servant.” 28 Noah lived three hundred fifty years after the flood. 29 All the days of Noah were nine hundred fifty years, and then he died.

The chapter where we take a trip with Noah’s kids to see the lifestyles of the fruitful and multiplying.



Special Guests



Omuamua



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Sound Credits



AHHHH – random_intruder



Contrabasses Foghorn Rumble – gsb1039



Today’s Text



Comparative Text: https://biblehub.com/genesis/10-1.htm




1 Now this is the
history of the generations of the sons of Noah and of Shem, Ham, and
Japheth. Sons were born to them after the flood. 2 The sons of Japheth were: Gomer, Magog, Madai, Javan, Tubal, Meshech, and Tiras. 3 The sons of Gomer were: Ashkenaz, Riphath, and Togarmah. 4 The sons of Javan were: Elishah, Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim. 5 Of
these were the islands of the nations divided in their lands, everyone
after his language, after their families, in their nations. 6 The sons of Ham were: Cush, Mizraim, Put, and Canaan. 7 The sons of Cush were: Seba, Havilah, Sabtah, Raamah, and Sabteca. The sons of Raamah were: Sheba and Dedan. 8 Cush became the father of Nimrod. He began to be a mighty one in the earth. 9 He was a mighty hunter before Yahweh. Therefore it is said, “like Nimrod, a mighty hunter before Yahweh”. 10 The beginning of his kingdom was Babel, Erech, Accad, and Calneh, in the land of Shinar. 11 Out of that land he went into Assyria, and built Nineveh, Rehoboth Ir, Calah, 12 and Resen between Nineveh and the great city Calah. 13 Mizraim became the father of Ludim, Anamim, Lehabim, Naphtuhim, 14 Pathrusim, Casluhim (which the Philistines descended from), and Caphtorim. 15 Canaan became the father of Sidon (his firstborn), Heth, 16 the Jebusites, the Amorites, the Girgashites, 17 the Hivites, the Arkites, the Sinites, 18 the Arvadites, the Zemarites, and the Hamathites. Afterward the families of the Canaanites were spread abroad. 19 The
border of the Canaanites was from Sidon—as you go toward Gerar—to
Gaza—as you go toward Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboiim—to Lasha. 20 These are the sons of Ham, after their families, according to their languages, in their lands and their nations. 21 Children were also born to Shem (the elder brother of Japheth), the father of all the children of Eber. 22 The sons of Shem were: Elam, Asshur, Arpachshad, Lud, and Aram. 23 The sons of Aram were: Uz, Hul, Gether, and Mash. 24 Arpachshad became the father of Shelah. Shelah became the father of Eber. 25 To
Eber were born two sons. The name of the one was Peleg, for in his days
the earth was divided. His brother’s name was Joktan. 26 Joktan became the father of Almodad, Sheleph, Hazarmaveth, Jerah, 27 Hadoram, Uzal, Diklah, 28 Obal, Abimael, Sheba, 29 Ophir, Havilah, and Jobab. All these were the sons of Joktan. 30 Their dwelling extended from Mesha, as you go toward Sephar, the mountain of the east. 31 These are the sons of Shem, by their families, according to their languages, lands, and nations. 32 These
are the families of the sons of Noah, by their generations, according
to their nations. The nations divided from these in the earth after the
flood.

The chapter where towers rise, languages fall, and we see how god feels about people working together in harmony.



Special Guests



Rachel and Aisling of The Good Book Podcast



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AHHHH – random_intruder



Contrabasses Foghorn Rumble – gsb1039



Links



The Good Book Podcast



Today’s Text



Comparative Text: https://biblehub.com/genesis/11-1.htm




1 The whole earth was of one language and of one speech. 2 As they traveled east,* they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they lived there. 3 They
said to one another, “Come, let’s make bricks, and burn them
thoroughly.” They had brick for stone, and they used tar for mortar. 4 They
said, “Come, let’s build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top
reaches to the sky, and let’s make a name for ourselves, lest we be
scattered abroad on the surface of the whole earth.” 5 Yahweh came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men built. 6 Yahweh
said, “Behold, they are one people, and they all have one language, and
this is what they begin to do. Now nothing will be withheld from them,
which they intend to do. 7 Come, let’s go down, and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.” 8 So Yahweh scattered them abroad from there on the surface of all the earth. They stopped building the city. 9 Therefore
its name was called Babel, because there Yahweh confused the language
of all the earth. From there, Yahweh scattered them abroad on the
surface of all the earth. 10 This
is the history of the generations of Shem: Shem was one hundred years
old when he became the father of Arpachshad two years after the flood. 11 Shem lived five hundred years after he became the father of Arpachshad, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 12 Arpachshad lived thirty-five years and became the father of Shelah. 13 Arpachshad
lived four hundred three years after he became the father of Shelah,
and became the father of more sons and daughters. 14 Shelah lived thirty years, and became the father of Eber. 15 Shelah lived four hundred three years after he became the father of Eber, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 16 Eber lived thirty-four years, and became the father of Peleg. 17 Eber lived four hundred thirty years after he became the father of Peleg, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 18 Peleg lived thirty years, and became the father of Reu. 19 Peleg lived two hundred nine years after he became the father of Reu, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 20 Reu lived thirty-two years, and became the father of Serug. 21 Reu lived two hundred seven years after he became the father of Serug, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 22 Serug lived thirty years, and became the father of Nahor. 23 Serug lived two hundred years after he became the father of Nahor, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 24 Nahor lived twenty-nine years, and became the father of Terah. 25 Nahor lived one hundred nineteen years after he became the father of Terah, and became the father of more sons and daughters. 26 Terah lived seventy years, and became the father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran. 27 Now
this is the history of the generations of Terah. Terah became the
father of Abram, Nahor, and Haran. Haran became the father of Lot. 28 Haran died in the land of his birth, in Ur of the Chaldees, while his father Terah was still alive. 29 Abram
and Nahor married wives. The name of Abram’s wife was Sarai, and the
name of Nahor’s wife was Milcah, the daughter of Haran, who was also the
father of Iscah. 30 Sarai was barren. She had no child. 31 Terah
took Abram his son, Lot the son of Haran, his son’s son, and Sarai his
daughter-in-law, his

The chapter where Abram starts franchising, Abram and Sarai go out to eat in Egypt, Pharaoh takes what he wants, and lives to regret it.



Special Guests



Ptolemy the Unitarian



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Connected Sounds



Sound Credits



AHHHH – random_intruder



Contrabasses Foghorn Rumble – gsb1039



Today’s Text



Comparative Text: https://biblehub.com/genesis/12-1.htm




1 Now Yahweh said to
Abram, “Leave your country, and your relatives, and your father’s house,
and go to the land that I will show you. 2 I will make of you a great nation. I will bless you and make your name great. You will be a blessing. 3 I
will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who treats you
with contempt. All the families of the earth will be blessed through
you.” 4 So Abram went, as Yahweh had told him. Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. 5 Abram
took Sarai his wife, Lot his brother’s son, all their possessions that
they had gathered, and the people whom they had acquired in Haran, and
they went to go into the land of Canaan. They entered into the land of
Canaan. 6 Abram passed through the land to the place of Shechem, to the oak of Moreh. At that time, Canaanites were in the land. 7 Yahweh appeared to Abram and said, “I will give this land to your offspring.”* He built an altar there to Yahweh, who had appeared to him. 8 He
left from there to go to the mountain on the east of Bethel and pitched
his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Ai on the east. There he built
an altar to Yahweh and called on Yahweh’s name. 9 Abram traveled, still going on toward the South. 10 There
was a famine in the land. Abram went down into Egypt to live as a
foreigner there, for the famine was severe in the land. 11 When he had come near to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “See now, I know that you are a beautiful woman to look at. 12 It
will happen that when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is
his wife.’ They will kill me, but they will save you alive. 13 Please say that you are my sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that my soul may live because of you.” 14 When Abram had come into Egypt, Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. 15 The princes of Pharaoh saw her, and praised her to Pharaoh; and the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. 16 He
dealt well with Abram for her sake. He had sheep, cattle, male donkeys,
male servants, female servants, female donkeys, and camels. 17 Yahweh afflicted Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. 18 Pharaoh called Abram and said, “What is this that you have done to me? Why didn’t you tell me that she was your wife? 19 Why
did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to be my wife? Now
therefore, see your wife, take her, and go your way.” 20 Pharaoh commanded men concerning him, and they escorted him away with his wife and all that he had.