30 min
34. Attachment Styles: A Path To Wholeness In Relationship - Part 1 (Island) The Art of We
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- Relationships
The most effective way to make it easier to get the love that you want and give your partner the love that they need is to understand each other's attachment style. Stan Tatkin has a helpful framework for recognizing when childhood imprinting comes up, and in this episode, we’re unpacking the layers of what he calls the “Island” attachment style, otherwise known as avoidant insecure attachment.
The defense strategies we use as adults are often the result of the experiences we had with our caretakers as infants. How we regulate the nervous system in the face of perceived challenges directly links back to how we were soothed (or not) during the formative years of our lives. But, that’s not to say there’s no hope for breaking patterns of attachment. In fact, consciously working with these patterns inside relationships creates great opportunities for transformation. The first step is to become conscious of this mechanism, so you’re already on the right path.
We take a look at different statements and scenarios that an Island type of person might relate to. We also work through why it’s important to shift into a more secure, or in Tatkin’s language, “Anchor,” style. Plus, we use ourselves as examples and discuss what parts of the Island attachment style we relate to.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
Why it’s helpful to have a greater understanding of attachment stylesThe four different attachment categories that apply to most peopleHow misinterpreting attachment styles can lead to relational ruptures The major blind spots of Island-dominant people Reflecting on where your defense strategy is running your life
Resources Mentioned:
The Art Of We Weekly NewsletterWired for Love by Stan Tatkin
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
The most effective way to make it easier to get the love that you want and give your partner the love that they need is to understand each other's attachment style. Stan Tatkin has a helpful framework for recognizing when childhood imprinting comes up, and in this episode, we’re unpacking the layers of what he calls the “Island” attachment style, otherwise known as avoidant insecure attachment.
The defense strategies we use as adults are often the result of the experiences we had with our caretakers as infants. How we regulate the nervous system in the face of perceived challenges directly links back to how we were soothed (or not) during the formative years of our lives. But, that’s not to say there’s no hope for breaking patterns of attachment. In fact, consciously working with these patterns inside relationships creates great opportunities for transformation. The first step is to become conscious of this mechanism, so you’re already on the right path.
We take a look at different statements and scenarios that an Island type of person might relate to. We also work through why it’s important to shift into a more secure, or in Tatkin’s language, “Anchor,” style. Plus, we use ourselves as examples and discuss what parts of the Island attachment style we relate to.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
Why it’s helpful to have a greater understanding of attachment stylesThe four different attachment categories that apply to most peopleHow misinterpreting attachment styles can lead to relational ruptures The major blind spots of Island-dominant people Reflecting on where your defense strategy is running your life
Resources Mentioned:
The Art Of We Weekly NewsletterWired for Love by Stan Tatkin
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
30 min