In the latest podcast, Seibo joins Rob to discuss why men should continue to develop EQ, his journey to get to where he is now and commentary on the benefits and potential pitfalls.
02:09 - Intro
Rob explains his process of being a relationship coach where he supports men to open up and engage in areas of their emotional intelligence they are deficient in. Whether that be social, personal and work life, Rob can help.
03:21 - What Does BAD Mean To Rob?
Interestingly this definition changed over time for Rob, from traditionally badass beliefs expected from society to increasing importance on character values and emotional connection. Listeners should note the importance of staying true to the values you, and only you believe in but then having the fortitude to stand tall when your values are challenged from all sides.
05:26 - Origins of a King
In this section Rob explains his embarrassing story; the feelings of shame and the guilt of being ugly felt during his first rejection led him to take those first steps to develop himself and become the person he is now.
Identifying and taking ownership of his shortcomings led him to refine his relationship skills and incorporate social frameworks. Rob shares that even after developing these social skills you are still not guaranteed success; even after finding success, Rob continued to experience empty interactions which eventually lead to suicidal thoughts.
Rob's experience can be quite relatable to other Asian men and highlights the dangers of neglecting all of our emotions or refusal to confront past trauma which can negatively shape our character. Rob commented that strength to express the full range of emotions to the fullest and embrace this side created vibrancy in life he didn't have before - as men, it can be easy to fall into the trap to pursue complete mastery over our emotions, but in its pursuit can prevent us from being human.
12:36 - How to develop EQ
Rob and Seibo discuss how to take small, actionable steps to begin developing EQ. Many of the key areas require an honest dialogue with yourself such as your fears, forgiveness for an experience that can be seen as shameful and addressing negative self-worth. It should be said, many of these areas can be difficult to explore where it is important to move past the ego which can prevent you from exploring these negative emotions and taking steps to resolve them.
Character experience is developed through slow, incremental changes but with continual, positive experiences and breakthroughs. Over time you can make these changes, but it requires complete effort time. While the journey was long, in Rob's eyes it was worth it.
25:16 - Challenges of being an Asian man
Taking this back to the topic of Asian men, the pair explore aspects of Asian men that can be beneficial or a barrier to developing EQ. The ability to conduct root cause analysis can quickly identify areas for improvement, but common traits such as being overly self-critical may inhibit progress.
29:41 - Transformative Change and Creating More Sustainable Relationships
In the last big topic, Rob empathises the need to acknowledge mistakes and not to be overly calculated and curated, which can hinder your ability to create better human relationships. Rob's transformational change was attributed to his ability to express characteristics authentic to himself, taking true ownership of his values and flaws, as well as showing vulnerability; much akin to the characteristics of the Byronic Hero. Defining these traits also allowed him to screen people in his personal and love life to form higher quality communities aligned with his values.
If listeners are sceptical about expressing negative emotions, in Rob's experience it was these difficult experiences that created chances to create strong emotions and stronger bonds between parties.
54:46 - Where t