250 episodes

Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum--the blog!

Bare Marriage Sheila Gregoire

    • Religion & Spirituality
    • 4.7 • 1K Ratings

Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum--the blog!

    Episode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner

    Episode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner

    With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better.

    To Support Us:
    Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Zachary Wagner: 
    Find Zachary's book Non-Toxic MasculinityFind Zachary on InstagramThings Mentioned in the Podcast: 
    Our book She Deserves Better!Zachary's response to the review from Shane Morris on The Gospel CoalitionBob and Dannah Gresh's appearance at Cedarville UniversityInformation about Dannah calling 8-year-old's bellies intoxicatingFred Stoeker's appearance on Focus on the FamilyMatthew West's podcast discussing Modest is HottestJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

    Check out her books:
    The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

    Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

    • 1 hr 4 min
    Episode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story

    Episode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story

    We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).

    But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?

    Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realized something was wrong and came out of it.

    (Also: at the beginning I quoted a Bible passage and said Matthew 18. I meant Matthew 15. Sorry!)

    Our Sponsor:

    The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.  
    View a sample of the Bible here!

    To Support Us:
    Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Lauren Rose and Called to Peace:
    Called to Peace MinistriesFind Called to Peace on Facebook, including my interview on how Sexual Coercion is Domestic AbuseThings Mentioned in the Podcast: 
    Our podcast with another Gothard Survivor, Emily ElizabethOur interview with Alyssa Wakefield, who grew up in a Gothard home and was groomed for abuse (Part 1, and Part 2).Our podcast episode 229 with Jay Stringer about Josh Howerton's wedding night adviceMy Twitter thread about Josh Howerton's "apology"The original thread that went viral, as well as a Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

    Check out her books:
    The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

    Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

    • 1 hr 3 min
    Episode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex?

    Episode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex?

    When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"

    Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too!

    Our Sponsor:

    The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.

    To Support Us:
    Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!The Products We Mentioned: 
    Our book The Great Sex RescueThe Orgasm CourseThe Boost Your Libido CourseThings Mentioned in the Podcast: 
    Our podcast on obligation sex, and the post that goes along with itThe podcast where we discuss Emerson Eggerichs saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused--and a follow-up podcast going into more detail on how evangelical writers portray female orgasmMore podcasts on libido: 3 ways to talk about libido differences, and have we made sex into a yes space for men?Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

    Check out her books:
    The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

    Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

    • 51 min
    Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer

    Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer

    Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide.  There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.

    Our Sponsor:

    The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book. 

    To Support Us:
    Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Jay Stringer:
    Check out Jay's book UnwantedFind Jay on InstagramLearn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment ConferenceLinks We Mentioned:
    Jay's first podcast with us on his book UnwantedOur book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual painOur books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexOur podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talkThe podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermonsThe Orgasm CourseThe Marriage Night at Lakepointe Church Howerton was referring to The study on the effects of orgasm the first time you have sexJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

    Check out her books:
    The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

    Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

    • 56 min
    Episode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma

    Episode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma

    Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.

    Our Sponsor:

    The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.  
    View a sample of the Bible here!

    To Support Us:
    Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Links We Mentioned:
    Susannah Griffith’s book Forgiveness After TraumaFind Susannah at her websiteFuture Speaking Events:
    Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
    More information here. 
    Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

    Check out her books:
    The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

    Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

    • 56 min
    Episode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman

    Episode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman

    Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations.  In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.

    To Support Us:
    Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Links We Mentioned:
    Natalie Hoffman’s book All the Scary Little GodsNatalie’s website Flying Free, and her Flying Free podcastThe first podcast Natalie did with me–how Christian books made me stay in an abusive marriageNatalie joined us on our podcast about the book Lies Women BelieveRichard Schwartz' book No Bad PartsJenna Riemersma's book on IFS Altogether You
    Future Speaking Events:
    Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
    More information here. 
    Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

    Check out her books:
    The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

    Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

    • 1 hr 6 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
1K Ratings

1K Ratings

summer776 ,

Shining the light of truth and health

Sheila and Rebecca are such gifted teachers, truly called to this work of dismantling harmful rhetoric that dehumanizes women, and restoring health, joy and connection to people’s lives. And doing it with love, humor and solid evidence. They manage to take some of the most grotesque and pro-abuser comments and calmly put them under the microscope so we can all see these messages are nothing but viruses and hot air. Then they get out the disinfectant and help everyone else obtain it too so we can all get better.

leviandbetsy ,

Great books, frustrating podcast

I had given the podcast 5 stars before, but I honestly can’t take Rebecca’s constant interruptions anymore. Every time I listen to a podcast with her in it, I wind up frustrated because she so frequently talks over Sheila or even a guest! In the most recent episode, she interrupted the man they were interviewing and she and Sheila wound up talking WAY more than he did. I love their books and surveys, but this podcast is so rough and frustrating that I can’t stand listening anymore.

FitnessPro6520 ,

Wow, thank you!

I recently discovered I was in enrolled in spiritually abusive biblical counseling from ACBC, A relatively new believer with lots of sexual trauma and nine months into the program my mental health was worse than it ever been… Thank goodness for all your work you’re doing Sheila. I can’t stress it enough… It’s helped my husband and myself and I’ve shared your podcast with so many, and you were waking up women across the evangelicals fear of all ages!!! we are burning our old books that teach us patriarchy & are falling in love with Jesus again! Praise God!

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