Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

  1. JUN 19

    60.5 - Philippe II of Orléans (the Regent)

    Louis XIV is dead, and his heir is a 5-year-old child. With so many deaths occurring in the royal family, it falls to an unlikely royal nephew, Philippe, duke of Orléans, to govern France until Louis XV comes of age. Completely unlike the callous old Sun King, Philippe is a man of the people who spurned Versailles and lived as a boisterous libertine. What kind of regent will this man be? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Other music used for this episode: "Sonata for cello and Continuo in B flat, RV.47 - 1. Largo" by Antonio Vivaldi, performed by Christophe Coin, Ageet Zweistra and Christopher Hogwood. ℗ 1987 Decca Music Group Limited ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. 1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? 2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? 3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? 4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? 5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 35m

  2. MAY 9

    Louis XIV, Part 3

    Now that we've finished Louis XIV's life, we're going back to fill in some details and decide what score the Sun King should get. Will he escape the guillotine? ⚜️   Visit our ⁠Wordpress ⁠for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!   Contact us by ⁠Email⁠, or follow us on ⁠Instagram⁠, our ⁠Facebook Group⁠ or ⁠BlueSky⁠.   Make sure you leave us a review on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠, ⁠Spotify⁠ or wherever you listen.   You can also support the show on ⁠Patreon⁠! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses.   ⚜️   BattleRoyale's intro/outro music is ⁠"Dansez" by Fasion⁠. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff ⁠here⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 58m

  3. APR 27

    Louis XIV, Part 2

    This episode we talk about the zenith and slow decline of the sun king. ⚜️   Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!   Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky.   Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.   You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses.   ⚜️   BattleRoyale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here. Our outro music this episode is the "Sarabande for the King's Bedtime" by Jean-Baptiste Lully, performed by Ernst Stolz and the Violes de Gambe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 24m

  4. APR 20

    Louis XIV, Part 1

    The Sun King is risen. This episode, we chronicle the first half of Louis XIV's life, from his earliest years of civil war and turbulence to the apex of his power. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. Contact us by Email, or follow us on Instagram, our Facebook Group or BlueSky. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here. Our outro music for this episode is a fanfare composed by Jean-Baptiste Lully, the premier composer of Louis XIV's court. Listen to the full recording on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 31m
  5. 59.5 - Anne of Austria

    MAR 6

    59.5 - Anne of Austria

    You've heard of the Sun King, but what about his mother? From Infanta of Spain to Regent of France, Anne of Austria's 50-year career is a rollercoaster of intrigue, family drama and civil war.  ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!  Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.⚜️CATEGORIESBen and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 28m
  6. 59 - Louis XIII

    FEB 3

    59 - Louis XIII

    The Louis XIII of Alexandre Dumas's "The Three Musketeers" is a comically naïve and easily manipulated do-nothing king, dominated by his scheming chief minister Cardinal Richelieu. But as we're about to learn, the history is a little more complicated when you consider that Louis did have military victories, he struggled against debilitating chronic illness, and France owes a lot more than expected to his partnership with the cardinal.  But is this enough to spare Louis XIII from the guillotine?  ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.⚜️CATEGORIESBen and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 33m
  7. 58.5 - Marie de' Medici

    JAN 6

    58.5 - Marie de' Medici

    After seizing the regency upon the death of Henry IV, will the second Medici to rule France be as successful as the first? Get ready for court intrigue, family drama and shocking twists of fate. To view Marie's most famous series of depictions, Rubens's "Marie de' Medici Cycle", head to the Louvre website to view all 20+ paintings together. They are possibly the most spectacular paintings we have ever talked about on the podcast! ⚜️  Visit our Wordpress for the rest of our episode images, as well as our score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!  Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.⚜️CATEGORIESBen and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 33m
  8. 58 - Henry IV, Part 2

    12/09/2024

    58 - Henry IV, Part 2

    How will "Good King Henry" fare as we rate him? We know he spent his reign fighting, drinking and womanising, but what did he do for France? And more importantly, was he really the second coming of Hercules?Let is know what you thought of Henry, and whether he deserves the fate we've given him...⚜️The rendition of "Vive Henri IV" used for this episode was performed by Les Quatre Barbus, released in 1993 by Playtime records on the album "Les Compositeurs: Les Plus Belles Musiques de Films de René Cloërec" by René Cloërec. It is available to stream on Spotify or YouTube. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.⚜️CATEGORIESBen and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    1h 21m
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Trailer

4.6
out of 5
65 Ratings

About

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2025
  • Episodes
    114
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Battle Royale: French Monarchs
  • Show Website
    Battle Royale: French Monarchs

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