78 episodes

Contrary to what we have experienced, being a divorce lawyer does not have to suck! You can be happy, have happy clients, and earn a great living all at the same time

Welcome to the be the best divorce lawyer Podcast, where you will learn to be the best divorce lawyer you can be. This is Val Hemminger. I have been a divorce lawyer for more than two decades.

Has your law practice sucked the life out of you? Has your law practice been a terrible burden, not only to your life, but the life of your family, your health, and, even worse, your finances?

But Wait! What if I was to tell you that you can run a fun and profitable family law practice that serves a host of very happy clients without killing yourself with long hours, and massive stress. You will learn to dream big again, and you will learn to take care of you, the law boss.

Be the Best Divorce Lawyer Val Hemminger

    • Business

Contrary to what we have experienced, being a divorce lawyer does not have to suck! You can be happy, have happy clients, and earn a great living all at the same time

Welcome to the be the best divorce lawyer Podcast, where you will learn to be the best divorce lawyer you can be. This is Val Hemminger. I have been a divorce lawyer for more than two decades.

Has your law practice sucked the life out of you? Has your law practice been a terrible burden, not only to your life, but the life of your family, your health, and, even worse, your finances?

But Wait! What if I was to tell you that you can run a fun and profitable family law practice that serves a host of very happy clients without killing yourself with long hours, and massive stress. You will learn to dream big again, and you will learn to take care of you, the law boss.

    From Distressed to Peaceful Possibility in 5 Days or Less

    From Distressed to Peaceful Possibility in 5 Days or Less

    From Distressed to Peaceful Possibility in 5 Days or Less
     
    You ever come across something so powerful, you think, holy crapola, I have got to tell (insert every person on the planet that you love) about this!!
    Well, that is what the Breath and Wonder technique is all about. 
    Yep, your clients need this! The people you love need this.
    If you caught this week’s podcast you will see that I interviewed my friend Deni Mariscal. In this episode, I dived into the Woo lot more than usual, however, with the eye to concrete results.
    I interviewed Deni Mariscal, my dear friend, and practitioner of Energy Healing and the Art of Awakening Through Wonder which is a method nothing you have ever heard of or learned about before. 
    Emotions have defined energy, a field of their own, complete with shape, density, and texture. Science has now proven this. Emotions are an integral part of a person’s overall energy flow, and if they are held tightly they disrupt this flow. This technique is a simple yet powerful way to relieve the tension around tightly held emotions, in order to speed up the healing and to make it last. 
    It works well for our clients that are traumatized. It makes us better lawyers.
    It allows our clients to free ourselves from the drama in our lives... 
    https://www.denimariscal.com/workwithdeni

    Here is the thing... Most people rely on intellect and neglect the emotional body...so what happens is you might experience some temporary mindset shifts if you go to therapy or the next best thing . .. ..but it's usually never long-lasting…
    The mind is a beautiful tool...but there are deeper seeded issues that go beyond what the mind can comprehend. 
    Our clients (and us) carry emotional memories in our bodies, particularly when we have gone through a very stressful or traumatizing experience. For people going through a divorce or separation, those same unconscious memories stay with us and continue to give us the same experiences over and over again, even though the initial trauma is long in our past. 

    Can you imagine what our clients’ lives would look and feel like if they were able to break free from the hurt and pain of their marriages and separation?

    Reprogram your unconscious mind so you can confidently move towards what you want in life. 

    Transform and Transmute the emotional trauma that holds you back from living a peaceful and fulfilled life.

    Unleash the full potential that is currently slumbering within you. 
     
     

    In this Episode:
    About Breath and Wonder technique [00:03:35] Emotions are an integral part of a person’s overall energy flow [00:17:18]  

    Resources:
    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/denimariscal/
    Website: https://www.denimariscal.com/workwithdeni
     
    Listen to my Podcast:
     
    Blog: https://www.valhemminger.com/blog/from-distressed-to-peaceful-possibility-in-5-days-or-less-season-2-ep-38

    Libsyn: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/22052273https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/21965870?_ga=2.264866700.2063683289.1643643333-1324640518.1639588207
     
    Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5Vbbl8ckBBnMkWhX12syiihttps://open.spotify.com/episode/4uHxrNpMWn6Z0g37lzsnZD

    Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-distressed-to-peaceful-possibility-in-5-days-or-less/id1509091497?i=1000550351744
     

    • 24 min
    Use your words!: Your Shortcut for Better Relationships

    Use your words!: Your Shortcut for Better Relationships

    Use your words!:  Your Shortcut for Better Relationships
    As lawyers, we communicate a lot, all the time, in many different ways. We write letters, send emails, phone (yes pick up the phone sometimes!) with other lawyers, our clients, our team, and other professionals in our industry. Sometimes we even text about a file matter. I do.  
    Words have meaning. Words have power.
    Communications have come a long way since my first law job when we addressed every letter (no email yet at that time, it was that long ago haha) with “Dear Sirs/Mesdames” and signed the letters with “sincerely.” Not exactly warm and collaborative or inviting. 
    The thing to remember is that even when sending a quick email, the proper salutation is not only important and appropriate, it is often your first opportunity to influence the narrative, particularly between you and your “opposing” counsel. Proper salutations are important even when texting. 
    The same is true for the sign-off of your communications. 
    You can use each and every one of your communications on a matter as an opportunity to drive the culture of your conversations, that culture being one of respect, and cooperation getting closer rather than farther away from resolving and finalizing your client's matter.
    I sign a lot of my communications these days with 5 red hearts. Even some of my communications with other professionals, lawyers, and clients. 
    Just like please and thank you, proper salutations and closings are small and simple investments. Those small and simple investments will help you and they will help your clients. It is your opportunity to frame the narrative in a way that can be useful and collaborative rather than unnecessarily combative. 
    Such language is helpful in all of our communications, whether that be with our clients, other lawyers, court registry staff, our own team, other professionals on our team, and yes, even with our own families and ex-spouses. 
    Sometimes I have clients ask me why I am not rude and awful in my correspondence like the other lawyer as is sometimes the case. I am transparent with my client about the fact that leaning into a cooperative way of speaking can save them time, money, and ongoing stress. Usually, that is enough to get their buy-in. 
    Lawyers, no matter how busy we are, have no excuse to not use niceties.
    Also, remember that it is likely that the recipient will likely not be the only person who reads your email. Emails are shared, cc’d, and often end up attached to an affidavit. 
    I often start my emails with a “Hello and then their first name.” Unless the lawyer has been in practice for 30 plus years, and if they are, I then tend to address them by their Mr. or Mrs. pronouns as in their correspondence. I use their correspondence as my guide. If Harold Turnham signs off as “Harold” I will call him “Harold.” If he signs off as Mr. Turnham, I will address him as Mr. Turnham. I am going with their lead.

    Now, back to my salutations. 

    I then take a moment to say “I hope this email finds you well.” or “Happy New Year” or “I hope you had a restful weekend” or “I hope you are enjoying this beautiful weather we are having.” The whole point is that it is a nicety, albeit an authentic one. 

    If I can’t stand the other lawyer, I find it a bit more difficult to be authentic in my nicety, but I get there. 

    Yet, you can go a lot deeper than a proper salutation or greeting. 

    You can utilize your email and other communications as your opportunity to connect with other counsel, your clients, and other professionals that you deal with on a day to day basis. These touchpoints can help guide you towards the desired outcome not only for your client but will be less stressful for you. 
    I first noticed this strategy when reviewing medical records between doctors. They would always (seem to very sincerely thank) the other doctor they were communicating with for the referral. I have

    • 27 min
    For Stressed Out Lawyers ONLY

    For Stressed Out Lawyers ONLY

    For The Stressed Out Lawyers Only
     
    One of the students that I have worked with has just opened up their new firm.
    Because they did foundational work over a number of months, they hit the ground running!
    They have only been open for less than two weeks and have already paid off their law firm’s overhead and their living expenses for the month. In fact, people are already finding them organically without using paid advertising…
    All with super simple strategies!
    That’s why I thought I gotta share this a bit more.
    Learn more about the BEST Method here… 
    https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1LrwruxjB9Ad8TupFEL7S7W5bgRVZDuYWl_6wjb4h3Uo/edit?usp=sharing
     
    Listen to my Podcast: 
    Blog: https://www.valhemminger.com/blog/for-stressed-out-lawyers-only-season-2-ep-36
    Libsyn: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/21875807
    Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1qR5i0Jcp9qrI2rVVmbH4q
    Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-stressed-out-lawyers-only/id1509091497?i=1000548841418

    • 42 min
    Crush Your Stress and Create Freedom in 4 Easy Steps

    Crush Your Stress and Create Freedom in 4 Easy Steps

    Crush Your Stress and Create Freedom in 4 Easy Steps
    You ever notice that when you have a whole day ahead of you to do “whatever” not much gets done.
    I think of my sisters, all retired. They say they don’t have time to do anything. All of their days are rolled out in front of them.
    Having stuff booked in your calendar creates freedom!
    It also reduces stress,
    Of the B.E.S.T. Method this relates to the T, Time Saving Techniques.

    Time-Saving Techniques:

    BEST Bucks: This is where you serve your clients and create cash flow for you and your law practice. It is all about generating money from your work on client matters.

    BEST Leverage: Make no mistake about the importance of this kind of activity. You won’t get anywhere without this. Most lawyers do not do this. This MUST be scheduled and you must protect that time.: This is where you create materials, etc. that will launch your firm forward like creating content, and putting yourself out there.

    BEST Bumper: A bumper is a device for absorbing shock or preventing damage (as in a collision). Administrative Tasks. Dealing with the shit/steps in your business. Cleaning up little messes with your business or your personal life.

    BEST You: spiritual practice? Exercise? Cooking? Taking a class? Making out?  
    So, create your time appointments and make your life and law practice wonderful starting today.
    Much love,
    Val
     
     
    In this Episode:
    Having stuff booked in your calendar creates freedom [00:02:34] BEST You [00:06:49] BEST Bucks [00:10:45] BEST Leverage [00:16:55] BEST Bumper [00:21:30]  
    Listen to my Podcast:
    Blog: https://www.valhemminger.com/blog/How-to-Become-a-Manifesting-MoFo-in-3-Easy-Steps-s02-e34
    Libsyn: https://bethebest.libsyn.com/crush-your-stress-and-create-freedom-in-4-easy-steps
    Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6csFZPr6ZHNRf4NkIhvrFz
    Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crush-your-stress-and-create-freedom-in-4-easy-steps/id1509091497?i=1000548151430

    • 39 min
    How to Become a Manifesting MoFo in 3 Easy Steps

    How to Become a Manifesting MoFo in 3 Easy Steps

    How to Become a Manifesting MoFo in 3 Easy Steps
     

    The universe moves its own building blocks – quantum particles – around depending on the information it receives and the certainty of that information. It is as scientific as it is spiritual. - David Cameron Gikandi

    This stuff works. I mean it.

    My method for manifesting great things in my life has been created by me using a mishmash of a bunch of stuff I have learned from quantum physics, Abraham Hicks, and my day-to-day strategies. This stuff takes discipline and it can be outrageously fun. In fact, if I wake up grumpy, low, or discouraged, I do this process because it completely changes my state. I completely changed.

    I do this exact process probably 5 x per week. It works amazingly well. And the things I want to create in my life are showing up and are showing up with greater and great speed.

    The kinds of things I have manifested are:
    I have balanced financial circumstances allowing me to be in expanded service and prosperity while my assets and I grow; saving funds; generating income. Life-changing refinance. My days are freed up - I am free to focus on writing, marketing, expanding, and creating (ooooh, so close). I have sorted out a personal Profit First method for reducing past expenditures; I have the confidence and structure to pay everything down and create a lasting and abundant and prosperous future. An honorable separation agreement with my ex-husband. 2 great road trips to the East Kootenays! I live in co-housing.


    This is what I want for you too.

    Now, remember, you don’t have to believe in ANY of this stuff to have it work, -- Just like gravity, whether you believe in it or not, it works.

    I used this very technique to transform my life and create some very cool experiences.

    The universe/quantum field/ etc. is really made up of thinking stuff. Some people call that thinking stuff God, some call it Allah, some call it the Universe, and others call it the Quantum Field. Regardless of your belief system, science has proven it exists.
    The law of attraction works. The problem is most people have zero idea about how to make it work effectively.

    I challenge you to do this exact process for 60 days in a row. Booyah, see what happens.

    You may have watched the Secret, and you are like, what the hell? Why don’t I have my new Tesla since I have asked for it?! The thing is that people often use the message of the SECRET incorrectly. The problem is they keep “wanting” or “needing” something. That is the best way to continue to create the want or the need.

    People focus on WANTING something. What does the universe deliver back? Yep, you got it, you continue to WANT something.
    Now that we have sorted out the universe, let’s get to my process.

    Step one:
    Write down an expansive list (keep adding to it all the time) setting out all the things you want to create in your life. If you ask for one thing, BORING. Ask for a hundred things or even more. When I first started my list, I struggled to come up with 100 things. Now I have 300 things (by the way this is not mostly THINGS as in BS consumer items although I do have some of that, experiences, ways of living, peace, joy, happiness. I have to say a big fat thank you to David Cameron Gikandi who wrote A Happy Pocket Full of Money: Your Quantum Leap Into The Understanding, Having And Enjoying Of Immense Abundance And Happiness.

    Step 2:
    Download a timer app on your phone that repeats. Set it for 30 seconds to repeat 40 times (thus creating a 20-minute practice).

    Step 3:
    This is thanks to Abraham Hicks and the book called Ask and it is Given. I have revised the 17-second task to 30-seconds so I have time to read the thing I want to manifest and then dig into the great feeling. Turn on your timer app, read the first thing on your list, experience what it FEELS like to have/be/experience that thing you want to manifest. Pretty soon those things start showing up in

    • 23 min
    Fu*k Being Normal It Will Kill You

    Fu*k Being Normal It Will Kill You

    Fu*k Being Normal It Will Kill You

    “I know you guys are students and poor, but please give if you can!”
    This statement was said at a rally I attended during my undergrad. I remember nothing about the rally or what it was for, but I do remember that comment.
    I have never been able to shake the sheer arrogance of that statement.
    Being a full-time student felt like the most decadent existence ever.
    Because I had been booted out of high school and commenced my undergrad as a “mature” student, I had spent the five years before working in bars, restaurants, and sketchy diners. “Do you want to talk about poor?!” I thought to myself, “Sister, you have no idea . . . “
    I remember a friend saying to me (someone who I met at one of those sketchy bars), that the kind of people I hung out with would change. I thought no way, that’ll never happen.

    Pimps
    Sex -workers
    Drug dealers (ed buzz)
    Hungry, dry heaves
    Lived with a sex worker, could not go home
    The kind of people I hung out with did change. In a huge way.
    I was the first person in my hugely extended family to go to university. I am the first lawyer.
    Even though I live a life I never imagined possible . . . and I am beyond grateful for that. I cannot and will not shake the working-class background I have. Strong work ethic, strong family ties to the Hemmingers who adopted me out of foster care, and there were not a lot of high school graduates. My Mom, a profoundly loving woman, did not read until she was 70 years old. My Dad only went to school until grade 6. His help was needed on the farm.
    My background comes out in the way I speak, in the way I present myself, and, of course, all of this was exacerbated by my undiagnosed ADHD. I simply did not know how to BEHAVE as a proper middle-class person.
    My background has made it so that my working-class and middle-income clients relate to me. I relate to them. The fact that I did not know how to use a proper dinner fork, or have the right table manners, ended up being a gift. The fact that I had no idea about financial literacy, on the other hand, sucked!
    My working-class background has also been an issue, because, well, for one thing, the Law Society of British Columbia does not like me. They have been gunning for me for ages. Almost 7 years ago now, I broke some trust accounting rules. Unlike many of my colleagues, when I was in financial trouble, I did not have a backup of savings or family money to help me out. So, I broke the rules. Despite my apologies, many days of hearings, huge remorse, shame, guilt, terror, and fear, I have also applied to the Supreme Court of British Columbia due to the Law Society’s bias against me. We are waiting on that decision. But the Law Society does not dislike me for the reason of me breaching trust accounting rules alone. I have a very big hunch that they don’t like me because I am not a “normal” lawyer.
    “Oh, here is Crazy Val” – guttered. It hit me that perhaps I really do not fit in that well with these people who I thought were my colleagues.
    What is not “normal” about you? And isn’t that part of your charm.
    Daniel Esenman says in his book, Breaking Normal: ReWild Your Inner Child and Set the Truth Free that not making waves, conforming to what (we think or assume) others expect is often simpler, and making compromises becomes second nature. In reality, everyone is unique, everyone is weird in their way of being, once freed from all judgments. Regaining the strength to assert your difference, with sincerity and vulnerability, will liberate you and push back the limits of what you believe is possible. Will you have the courage to do so?
    I am told that even though I run a thriving law practice and have been practicing for 25+ years, I am weird too.
    How am I weird and not your typical lawyer? Well, here are some things:

    What makes you not normal? Are you a bit WEIRD?! I freaking hope so.
    For the love of PETE, don’t tamp down your wei

    • 17 min

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