Boss Better Now with Joe Mull Joe Mull

A manager wrote to me recently with this question, I've got an employee who joined our team last year, and she does a great job, but she calls off a lot. Each time is for a perfectly good reason. Her son was sick, then her furnace died, then her dad had a fall. You get the idea. She's a single mom like I was, so I want to be understanding and support her. I know how hard it is to juggle everything alone. She tries hard and she cares about doing a good job, but she's not reliable and it's creating a variety of issues on my team. Have any advice? Signed, Frustrated in Philly? Well, Frustrated, I do, in fact, have some advice. Here we go.

When the Coronavirus closed schools and daycare centers across the country, working parents everywhere faced a crisis. How do I go to work, homeschool the kids, take care of a house that we can't leave, and keep everyone from killing each other? While in quarantine, it was a demanding multitasking mess. In response, many companies rushed to help their employees by creating flexible work arrangements and generous leave policies -- and Zoom meetings, a lot of Zoom meetings. But then non-parents started expressing resentment. Several news stories have highlighted the growing frustration among some employees at companies like Facebook and Salesforce, that accommodations, benefits, and flexibility has disproportionately benefited parents over non-parents. Non-parents are complaining that they too would like more time away from work, but the absence of parents is leaving them to shoulder more of the load. Faced with these new circumstances. Non-parents at work are saying, "Hey, no fair." I'll tell you what's really going on here and why it has nothing to do with parenting leave policies or workload in this episode of Cultivating Commitment. Can I get a rock and roll riff with some flashy opening credits, please?

For eight consecutive years, I partnered with a local hospital to deliver a leadership development workshop to the residents there going into their fourth year. The fourth year of residency at this hospital required those early career physicians to supervise others really for the first time in their careers. As part of that morning spent together, I'd facilitate a series of exercises and discussions to get these young leaders thinking about what the younger residents will need from them as supervisors, and every year during this exercise when I'd ask participants to describe the leadership style they believe works best, inevitably someone would say the following, my boss last year was terrible, so I learned what not to do. My plan is to do the opposite and be the kind of boss I'd want to have. Believe it or not, this is deeply flawed thinking when your charge is to lead people. I'll tell you why right after this commercial break. Just kidding, we don't have commercials. Play our theme song.

If you've been in the workforce for any amount of time, you've probably heard a boss say something to an employee that just made you cringe. Maybe it was an inappropriate remark or an off-color joke or something to belittle or demean the employee. Sadly, even smart bosses do dumb things from time to time. In fact, there are a couple of common boss phrases that we need to eliminate from our repertoire because they do harm the very moment they leave your lips. I'll tell you about three of these and what to say instead, in about 18 seconds from right now.

I want you to imagine that you've just sat down at a restaurant for a dinner out with your family. Now, imagine that the waiter came to the table, introduced himself, and then announced what you would be having for dinner. How would you react? You'd probably be shocked, right? And you'd probably object. "No, I'm not having the steak because I'm a vegetarian." Now, imagine that when you started to speak up, the waiter cut you off and said, "Listen, I know that you don't know me very well, but I know what I'm doing, and this is the way it's going to be." At that point, you're outta there, right? I mean, you're gone.
Believe it or not, leaders stepping into new roles do exactly this over and over again when they implement change too quickly and without the support of the people working there.
Grab your doggy bag and follow me as we fix the biggest mistake leaders make with a new team or in a new role. Check, please!

Here's a question that comes up a lot - especially among newer managers. Can bosses be friends with employees? Answer: Sure they can! Believe it or not, it happens all the time. Perhaps the better question to ask though...is should they?
For my money, asking this question is a little like asking if you can and should eat an entire 24-pack of string cheese at once. Can you? Sure, I guess. But if you do, some very uncomfortable things are probably going to happen not long after.
Friendships between bosses and employees are the topic of the day - so don't touch that...mobile device.